#klaus hargreeves x female reader

[badkitty3000]

☕Love In The Time Of Cholera And Coffee ☕

Part One: Chapters 1-6

Five x Female Reader, Klaus x Female Reader

You and Klaus are in a casual relationship. No ties, just sex. When you start spending a lot of time at his apartment, you somehow manage to break through his brother's prickly outer shell. He seems to like you, or at least tolerate you the best that Five can. When you start to realize that maybe there is more than just mutual friendship between the two of you, it opens up a lot of feelings and unanswered questions. And a lot of problems.

This story contains sexually explicit material! (But also lots of humor and fluff)

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Multi-Chapter Fic, Cross-posted on AO3. Link to my Master List.

This story alternates between the reader's POV and Five's POV. I will update a chapter at a time going forward. If you'd like to read it on AO3's format, here is the Link to story on AO3.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter One: Motivation, Routine, and Caffeine

You have been sort of dating Klaus for several weeks already. Not exactly his girlfriend and not exactly not his girlfriend. You are something in between and you are ok with that. You don’t need a major commitment and you are content with a casual relationship. Maybe not forever, but for right now it suits your needs. Klaus is fun and easygoing, and always makes you feel relaxed. He can be selfish sometimes, that is true, but you are willing to overlook it for the most part. As long as he doesn’t bring his selfishness into the bedroom, which so far he has not, then you could live with it.

The sex is good. Which is probably the real reason you’ve been hanging around so long. Without the sex, there isn’t a whole lot keeping you there. You don’t have a lot in common, except that you both like watching old English-dubbed Samurai movies on TV late at night while passing a joint back and forth. You don’t even like smoking that much, but Klaus has a way of making everything seem alluring and sexy, so you never hesitate when he takes a long hit off a joint and hands it over to you.

You spend a lot of your time at his apartment. You work a lot of hours, and sometimes have to work late, and his apartment is much closer than yours. That’s actually where you had met Klaus, at the bakery and coffee shop that you manage. He had come in for a tea and started making small talk with you. Before you knew it, he had you cracking up when he made a joke about eating your muffin. You weren’t even offended; that’s just part of the magic of Klaus. He can say pretty much anything and get away with it.

It doesn’t hurt that he’s one of the most beautiful men on the planet. Honestly, sometimes you’re jealous of how every single piece of clothing looks amazing on him and he never seems to have a bad hair day. Being with Klaus is like walking around in the company of some ancient Greek sculpture come to life. He draws eyes wherever he goes, from both men and women, and he’s never shy about returning the looks, either.

He likes to go shopping with you to help you pick out clothes, and he always lets you know if they look good on you or not. He’s funny, and sweet, and it’s very easy to fall under his spell. With Klaus you get the best of both worlds; a fun best friend that you can share clothes and gossip with, but who you also get to fuck.

That initial run-in with him eventually led to a few hook ups, and now you are a regular visitor at his place. It works out well. He always stays up late, so it’s no big deal if you swing by on your way out of work at midnight.

You are also working a lot in order to hopefully buy the shop from the current owner. Soon, you’ll have enough cash, along with a loan from the bank, to buy it. And you already run the place, anyway. It has always been a dream of yours to be able to own your own business.

So, between the long hours and financial preparation for the purchase, you don’t have a whole lot of free time. Most of what you do have, you spend with Klaus since it’s convenient and fun. Which, as it turns out, means you are also spending a lot of time with his brother.

You knew from the beginning who Klaus was. You know all about The Umbrella Academy and the Hargreeves family, because everyone does. Not that they’re really a household name anymore, but you know all about their history and their powers. So, when you found Klaus shared an apartment with Number Five, you were intrigued. You knew he had gone missing for a long time, but didn’t really know the whole story. Klaus had filled you in one night, though, and you were left feeling sorry and sad for him. That is, until you met him.

The first time you were there, sitting on the couch with Klaus watching TV, Five had teleported directly into the living room and scared the living shit out of you. After you screamed, he looked at you like you were some sort of flea-ridden possum that had gotten inside the house when someone left the door open.

“Holy shit!” you had shrieked, clutching at your chest and trying to catch your breath.

Without addressing you in any way, or introducing himself, Five glared at you, then turned to Klaus with a scowl. “Keep your feet off the coffee table. And stop leaving the goddamn milk out.”

Then he was gone again, in a swoosh of light, leaving you staring at an empty space.

“Wow, that was intense. Does he always do that?” you had asked Klaus.

Klaus just laughed and nodded, putting his feet back up on the coffee table. “Oh yeah, that’s just Five. You get used to it.”

“He seems kind of scary. And angry.”

“Fivey? Oh no, not at all. My big brother is really just a mushy little teddy bear all dressed up in a three-piece suit. Trust me, his bark is much bigger than his bite.” Then Klaus creased his eyebrows together in thought and pointed his joint at you. “But, maybe try not to piss him off too much. Just in case.”

Because of what you learned about Five’s time travel mishaps, he looked younger than Klaus and a few years younger than you. You were somewhere in between the two of them. But Five definitely had the grumpy, older brother thing down. After you got used to him appearing and disappearing without warning, you started to loosen up around him a little bit. Even though Klaus told you he was really a softy inside, you have a hard time believing it from the way he acts around you. After several weeks straight of being ignored, you decide to call him out on his bullshit.

Five appears out of a portal of blue directly in front of you as you are on your way to the bathroom. As usual, he gives you his signature sneer and is about to walk past you when you grab him by the arm. He looks down at his arm where your hand is and then back at your face; a murderous glint in his eyes.

“What the hell is your problem?” you ask him, doing your very best not to show your nerves.

“My problem? I don’t have a problem, thank you. Now let go of me.”

His voice is hard, but he also hasn’t tried to pull away, and you keep your hand on him. His upper arm is much firmer and solid than you had expected and you can feel his bicep flexing under your fingers.

“Why are you always so rude? I haven’t done anything to you.”

Five rolls his eyes and sighs. “Christ. Look, I’m sorry if I’m not dying to be all buddy-buddy with you. I learned a while ago that it’s not exactly worth getting to know my brother’s flavor of the month.”

You know he’s meaning to insult you, but you end up laughing instead. It’s no secret that Klaus is a total man-whore and you’re fine with that. It’s nothing serious and if another man came along that you were interested in, Klaus wouldn’t mind that, either. In fact, he’d probably want to meet him.

“Look, your mean old man act is wearing a little thin. It wouldn’t kill you to be somewhat nice once in a while. Maybe even get to know me? Most people think I’m a fucking delight.”

Five gives a sarcastic snort of laughter and looks back at your hand on his arm. This time, you let go. “How about this, sweetheart? If you’re still around next week, I’ll consider finding out how much of a fucking delight you are.”

You smile and hold out your hand, ignoring his condescension. “Alright, old man. Deal.”

You notice a tiny twitch of the corner of his mouth, but then it’s gone again. He looks cautiously at your hand, like he’s not sure what to do with it at first, and then he gives it a quick shake with his own before muttering something under his breath and blinking away again.

It is exactly one week later, and you haven’t forgotten Five’s deal. He has been slightly more cordial to you in the past seven days, but he still doesn’t take the time to stick around more than two minutes to talk to you. So, you’re practically beaming with satisfaction that you get to rub it in his face and actually make him talk to you.

You corner him in the kitchen one morning, as he’s pouring a cup of coffee. “Hi!” you exclaim loudly as his back is turned to you, and you laugh when he almost spills his coffee everywhere.

“Fuck!” he yells, before turning around and glaring at you.

You bounce on your toes and clap. “Guess what today is?”

“I can only hope that it’s National Leave Your Boyfriend’s Brother The Fuck Alone Day?”

You give a fake laugh and shake your head. “No, dummy. And he’s not my boyfriend, anyway. It’s been a week and I’m still here, right in your grumpy little face. So, now you have to talk to me.”

“I most certainly do not,” he states dryly before taking a sip of his coffee and then making a face of disgust. “Damn it, Klaus cannot make a decent pot of coffee to save his life.”

“Oh my gosh, that’s what I told him! It’s the worst!”

That seems to pique Five’s interest a little and he gives a small smile. “He buys the cheapest shit ever. Everyone knows the secret to good coffee is –"

“Quality coffee beans.”

He looks stunned that you said exactly what he was going to say and he lowers his mug. “Yeah, that’s right.”

“See? If you had taken the time to know me a little, you would know that I actually manage a café. I know all about good coffee.”

You don’t know him well enough to recognize all of his expressions, but if you could guess, you’d say he looks somewhat impressed.

You continue on. “And, since I know firsthand that Klaus’s coffee is total shit, I have started bringing my own with me. Wait right here.”

You leave, go into Klaus’s bedroom, and pull out a small bag of coffee grounds from the overnight bag you brought with you. When you return to the kitchen, Five is still waiting there, and you hold it up for him to see.

“Now, move out of the way so I can dump that swamp water out and make us something good.”

Five actually does what you say, and moves out of your way, allowing you to clean out the pot and fill the coffee maker up with fresh water and your special grounds. He doesn’t say anything, but he’s watching you intently. It’s slightly unnerving but you try to ignore it.

When you’re done and all you can do is wait for the coffee to brew, the two of you stand on opposite sides of the kitchen, leaning against the countertop. Five has his arms crossed over his chest and you start fidgeting with your hands, picking at your nails and cuticles. Your boldness from just a few minutes ago has faded.

“So, you’re the manager of a café?” Five finally asks, breaking the silence.

“Yes. Soon to be owner, if things go well.”

Five raises his eyebrows and nods his head in approval. “Sounds like a smart move.”

“I hope so. It’s a big step, but I’m ready for it. I want to be my own boss.”

Five nods his head again, but doesn’t say anything. After another minute of silence, the coffee maker beeps. Thankful for something to do, you pull out two new clean mugs and pour each of you a cup. When you hand one to Five, he takes it from you and you notice his hands. They look strong, with taught tendons running down the backs and long, slender fingers. You’ve always had a thing for hands.

“Holy shit,” Five says, his forehead creased with lines.

“What? No good?” you ask, genuinely surprised that he wouldn’t like it.

“No, quite the opposite. This is perfect!”

You laugh and hold up your mug. “And you didn’t want to get to know me.”

Five makes a face that kind of resembles a smile and takes another drink. “Well, if I’d known you made coffee like this…”

You laugh again and shake your head. “Klaus insists you are just a big teddy bear, and maybe I’m beginning to see it. Underneath all that crabbiness, anyway.”

“I’m not crabby,” Five insists, giving you the crabbiest frown ever.

“Oh, ok. Sorry. Curmudgeonly? Would you prefer that?”

To your surprise, he actually laughs. You’ve never heard him laugh before and it catches you off guard. But you like the way his face breaks into a big grin and the sound that rises up out of his chest like it’s been stored in there for a very long time and is finally being released.

“Well, I’ll be damned…did you just make Senor Cinco laugh?”

You and Five both turn and see Klaus sauntering into the kitchen to join you, wearing nothing but a small pair of bright blue underpants. He sidles up to you and throws an arm around your shoulder, leaning down and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“I did!” you exclaim with a smile, putting your arm around his naked waist.

“That just might be a new record. Usually, it takes at least three months, plus a few thinly-veiled death threats, before you get an honest to goodness laugh out of him.”

Five rolls his eyes and his face returns to its normal seriousness. “Actually, Klaus, I just don’t laugh at anything you have to say. Because you’re a fucking idiot.”

“Aw…I love you too, Fivey,” Klaus responds before he reaches out and ruffles Five’s hair.

Five bristles and runs a hand over the mess Klaus made, trying to restore his normal style.

“Well, as much as I’d love to continue this thrilling conversation, I’ll be taking my leave now. Enjoy your day doing…what do you two do, anyway? Contract various STDs and debate the nuances of Scooby Doo?”

You let out a loud cackle at that, which makes Five smile crookedly in your direction; right before he blinks away, leaving Klaus rolling his eyes and you with an inexplicably warm feeling in your chest.

Another week has passed and you and Klaus are still playing the no-ties dating game. Since you had turned Five on to your coffee making skills, the two of you have developed a bit of a friendship. While Klaus likes to stay up late and sleep in the next day, you are up early. Despite your long work hours, you generally don’t need a lot of sleep to function. You run mostly on motivation, routine, and caffeine. Which, coincidentally, so does Five.

Because you are both up in the early morning hours, you and Five will end up meeting in the kitchen when the sun is barely above the horizon. He will sit quietly at the small kitchen table and watch while you go about making coffee for the two of you. Neither of you say much until the coffee is finished brewing and has been poured. Then you sit down across from Five and he’ll actually engage in conversation.

At first, it was like pulling teeth to get Five to answer any questions, but after a while he warmed up. Now, you’re pretty sure he actually likes sitting down and talking to you. This morning is no different, and you and Five are in the kitchen, comfortably talking and sipping coffee when Klaus wanders in.

He yawns and stretches his sinewy body before flashing you a smile. “Morning, babe. I feel like waffles. You guys want some waffles?”

Five says nothing, but you smile back up at Klaus. “As long as you aren’t suggesting I get up and make them, then yes, I’m up for some waffles. We can go to that diner down the street.”

Klaus comes over and starts running his hands through your hair, massaging your scalp in the process and combing out the tangles with his fingers. It feels nice and relaxing and you close your eyes. When you open them again, your gaze lands on Five and your eyes meet. Something about the way he is looking at you makes your face flush with embarrassment and you gently push Klaus’s hands away, laughing.

“Quit it,” you say lightly, even though under normal circumstances you love it when Klaus plays with your hair.

He takes a step back, unfazed, and goes to pour himself a cup of coffee. Five is still watching you and you have to avert your eyes just to think straight. You scoot your chair back and stand up, turning to Klaus.

“So, are we going or what?”

Klaus shrugs. “Sure, you buying?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t I always?”

“Yes, you do. And then I pay you back in a much more physical way.”

“You realize that makes you sound like you’re prostituting yourself for breakfast foods.”

“I’ve done a lot worse for a lot less.”

You laugh and then you see Five get up and start to make his way out of the kitchen. “Five wait!”

He stops and turns to you, coffee cup still in hand, and eyes you up. “Yeah?”

“Come with us.”

“I don’t think so. You two toddlers go ahead.”

You frown and jut your hip out. “First of all, stop insulting us. Second, name one good reason you don’t want to come with us. I mean, you do eat, don’t you? Or do you survive solely on black coffee and sarcasm?”

You see that faint smile playing on Five’s lips again. The one that gives you a little flutter in your stomach when you see it; because you know you’re one of the few that can actually get him to break.

“Yes, I do eat. If surviving on coffee and sarcasm were a thing, it would have made my life in the apocalypse much easier.”

He’s kidding, but you still feel bad about your comment and you cringe a little at the mention of his traumatic past. Klaus, though, just waves a hand in the air dramatically.

“Come on, Fivey! What’s not to like about spending time with your favorite brother, while also getting some free waffles?”

“Pleeeaase?” you beg while batting your lashes exaggeratedly in Five’s direction.

After another annoyed eye roll and a huffy sigh, Five relents. “Fine! I will go to your stupid diner and eat your stupid waffles.”

“That a boy!” Klaus goes to slap Five on the back, but he has already blinked out of the kitchen.

“I hope it’s ok that I invited him?” you ask.

“Of course it’s ok. I can’t believe he said yes, though. I’ve been trying to get him out and socializing forever. It’s like you have a special magic touch with him. You’re like the Number Five Whisperer.”

You laugh. “Yeah, right. I think he just wanted breakfast.”

Klaus shakes his head. “No, really. I’ve seen him around you. He actually listens to you and isn’t mean.”

“He’s mean to me all the time!”

“Well, compared to what the rest of the world gets from him, that’s nothing. He once called me the human version of a shart.”

When you can’t help doubling over with laughter at that, Klaus puts a hand on his hip. “It was very hurtful.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s hilarious. Say what you want, but the man is funny. Whether he intends to be or not.”

“Just you wait. When he starts comparing you to shitting his pants, then we’ll see how funny you think he is.”

Once you are all showered and dressed, the three of you walk over to the diner for breakfast. You are planning on going directly to work from there, so you have your bag slung over your shoulder. The weight of it is evident by the way you’re slumped to one side while you lug it around, and Five eyes it curiously as you slide into a booth. You and Klaus are on one side while Five is across from you.

“What do you have in there? Bricks?” Five asks you as he picks up a menu.

“Yes. I carry around a bag full of bricks. One never knows when one might need to perform an emergency masonry job.”

You see Five’s lips purse together in a failed attempt at trying not to smile, avoiding your eyes by pretending to peruse the menu.

Klaus lets out a loud hoot of laughter and puts his arm around your shoulders. “Looks like you may have met your match in the snide comment department, Fivey.”

Five glances up and flicks a stray piece of hair off his face. “Doubtful. I am, and will always remain, the king of snide comments.”

You and Five exchange amused looks and you peer down at your own menu. A waitress comes to the table to take your orders and Klaus flashes her one of his beautiful smiles and you can see she is instantly smitten by him.

“A round of waffles and coffee for the table, please.” Klaus gestures to all three of you. “And make sure to give the bill to my sugar mama over here.”

The waitress gives you a funny look and you shrug with a smile before she wanders off to put in the order.

“Klaus!” Five hisses, leaning forward.

“What?”

“If you can’t pay for your own breakfast, I will. Don’t make her do it.”

Klaus looks genuinely taken aback. “Why? She offered.”

“Because it’s…” Five pauses and sighs and if you thought he was capable of embarrassment that might have been what he was conveying. “…it’s not gentlemanly.”

You chew on your bottom lip and look down in your lap so that you don’t laugh, but also so that Five doesn’t see how completely shocked you are at this statement.

Klaus frowns at Five. “I forget sometimes that you’re an old coot under that sleek body of yours. Don’t be so old-fashioned, Fivey. The times they are a-changin’.” He turns to you. “Besides, am I nothing but a gentleman?”

They are both looking at you for some sort of response and you laugh nervously. “Yes, you are mostly a gentleman. And I don’t mind paying; I did offer.” Klaus looks smug and Five rolls his eyes. “However,” you point a finger at each of them, “neither one of you offered to carry my bag for me on the way here.”

You watch with satisfaction as both of their mouths hang open for a second before they realize they have nothing to say to that. Just then, the waitress comes by with your coffees and starts to set them down in front of you on the tabletop. As you smirk to yourself, you hear both men utter a soft “sorry” under their breath before taking a sip from their mugs.

Five clears his throat. “You never did answer me. What are you carrying around in there?”

You glance at the overstuffed tote bag next to you. “Well, some extra clothes and toiletries, but also my laptop and a bunch of notebooks and file folders. I’m applying for a large bank loan and need to make sure all of my ducks are in a row.”

“Oh, that’s right. You’re planning on buying your café.”

Klaus leans back against the booth. “Yeah, she’s cute and smart. Hey, another thing you two have in common!”

Five takes another drink and mutters over his mug. “I am not cute.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Klaus looks thoughtful as he scans Five up and down. “You’ve got more of that angry, smoldering, sex god look about you.”

“Shut up, Klaus.”

“He’s right,” you hear yourself saying and your cheeks immediately burn when you realize you said it out loud. You notice Five’s face reddens a little as well when he looks at you in surprise.

Klaus is oblivious and he clinks his coffee mug against yours in a toasting gesture. “See? Everyone thinks so. Now, the next step is to share some of that super sexiness with another human being and not just your fist.”

With his face still flushed, Five clenches his jaw even tighter. “Shut. Up. Klaus.”

“I know it’s convenient and doesn’t require you to leave the house, but choking the old chicken doesn’t replace the need for human contact. It’s nice to flog your log once in a while, but you need to branch out. Let someone else take Fivey Junior for a spin. Know what I mean?”

You are certain you are about to witness a murder firsthand as you watch Five pick up his butter knife in a clenched fist, leaning dangerously close to his brother across the table, when the waitress comes back with your food. As she plunks down the plates in front of everyone, Klaus continues to dig his own grave.

“Hey there,” he squints at the waitress’ name tag, “Sandra. What do you think of my brother over here?”

Sandra looks visibly uncomfortable as she glances from Klaus’s beaming face to Five’s murderous one and back again.

“I’m sorry?”

“On a scale of one to ten, with one being you would not bang him if he were the last man on earth, to ten being you want to jump his brittle old bones right here in this diner booth, how would you rate him?”

You sink down in your seat and close your eyes, thinking that maybe if you aren’t actually looking when Five rams that knife through Klaus’s neck, you won’t have to answer too many questions from the cops. You risk opening one eye a slit and you can see Five fuming, nostrils flared and neck veins bulging. The poor waitress is not sure what to do as she stands there awkwardly, so you decide to jump in.

You laugh theatrically. “He’s just kidding! I bet him $20 to say that. I’m sorry…I didn’t think he’d actually do it.”

Sandra relaxes a little and sighs with relief. “Oh, ok. No worries. Enjoy your meal.”

As she walks away, you turn to Klaus with a glare.

“What?” he asks innocently.

“You’re terrible,” you tell him, disapprovingly.

“I’m trying to do the guy a favor and help him get his ex-assassin wiener wet!”

Suddenly, Five’s palm bangs on the table, making the plates and cutlery dance and clatter. You and Klaus both jump in your booth.

“I do not,” seethes Five, “need your help or anyone else’s for that matter.” He relaxes a bit, unclenching his jaw and rolling his shoulders back. His eyes pass over to you as he starts to cut into his waffle. One corner of his mouth curls up as he stabs a piece with his fork. “Fivey Junior is doing just fine, thank you,” he quips before taking a bite and giving you a quick wink.

Your stomach feels warm and fluttery all of a sudden and you let out a snort of laughter. The subject is dropped after that and Klaus eventually moves on to something else that involves his and Five’s apartment. Your mind wanders as you eat your food, staring into space as the two brothers chatter next to you. You didn’t mean for your mind to wander to that, but now that it was brought up, you find it front and center in your brain.

You find yourself wondering exactly what Five’s sexual situation is. You’ve never seen him with a woman, or a man, but he’s certainly good looking enough to get either one. Maybe his surly attitude turns people off? You know all about his unique situation, and so maybe he’s never had the opportunity to be with anyone else in that way. You steal a glance over at him, noticing the way the tendons in his forearms tighten and relax as he gestures while he talks and that warm feeling is back.

I wonder what kind of package he’s working with in those pants of his? He’s not a huge guy, but he sure as hell carries himself like he’s got a giant schlong. I would not be surprised if he was packing some serious equipment in there. I bet it could do some real damage…all that anger has to go somewhere. And I bet he knows how to use it, too. Probably could bang you right through a fucking wall –"

“Think twelve inches is too big?”

You drop your fork onto your plate with a loud clang as Five’s question snaps you out of your perverted daydream. Your face is suddenly very hot.

“What?” you ask in a wide-eyed panic.

Five and Klaus both give you a weird look.

“The shelving unit to put under the bathroom sink, remember I was telling you about them the other day? What do you think about the size?” Klaus explains.

“Oh, right. Uh…I don’t know,” you stammer.

Five turns back to Klaus. “It might be a little tight but I bet I could make it fit. Probably have to shove it in there really good, though.”

At that, you dissolve in a burst of nervous laughter that has the other two looking at you like you’ve lost your mind. You can’t stop laughing, though, and you cover your mouth with your hand while your body shakes uncontrollably.

Five and Klaus exchange confused glances. “Ok…weird,” Klaus says before going back to his waffles.

After a good thirty seconds of hyperventilating, you finally calm down enough and you wipe the tears from your eyes.

Five points a fork at you. “What the hell was that?”

You shake your head, suppressing another round of laughter. “Nothing, I was just thinking of something from earlier. You had to be there.”

“Clearly.”

After a few more minutes of silence, Klaus turns to you. “I know you’ve been worried about this loan and making sure you have everything in order. I’m no good at that kind of thing, but our boy Cinco over here probably is. Maybe he can look things over for you.”

“Oh!” You turn to Five. “Really? You’re good with finances and all that?”

“I’m good at everything, so by default I’m also good at finances,” he answers offhandedly, not looking up from his plate.

“Oh, right, silly me. I forgot, you’re a goddamn genius.”

He looks up and nods without a hint of irony. “Correct. I am.”

You roll your eyes. “Ok, never mind, sorry I asked.”

“Alright, don’t get all huffy. If you want me to look things over, I can do that.”

“Well, if it’s not cutting too much into your time of sucking your own dick, then that would be great.”

Klaus lets out a loud laugh and Five raises one eyebrow as he leans back and drapes his arm over the back of the booth with a smirk. “I think I can pencil you in somewhere.” He picks up his coffee mug, stopping just before he takes a drink. “Incidentally, that would have been another skill I could have used during those solitary years. But, alas, as brilliant as I am, I found I lack the flexibility.”

You bite at the inside of your cheek to stifle your laughter. “There’s a visual I don’t need.”

Klaus nearly chokes on his food. “Holy shit, did you actually try that? I’m not saying I haven’t myself, but I just didn’t think you…well, I guess there were a lot of lonely hours to kill, so like what did you try first? Rolling up in a ball, or –"

You slap a hand over his mouth. “Ok then! I can see this conversation is headed in a very weird direction, so I am just going to excuse myself and head to work now.”

After you gather up your bag, Klaus gets up to let you out of the booth. As you hoist the heavy tote over your shoulder, you address Five. “If you really are serious, I would be glad to have your help.”

“I was serious.”

“Thank you. Would you be available later today around 4? You can come by the café. I’ll even make you some coffee.”

“Sure. See you then.”

You give him a smile and then turn to Klaus. “See you later?”

“Absolutely. I’ll be around.”

Klaus leans down to kiss you, which is nothing out of the ordinary of course, but you feel weird being so affectionate in front of Five and you break the kiss off quicker than normal. You say goodbye to them both and as you go to leave, Klaus gives you a slap on the ass. When you turn to give him a fake scowl, you catch Five looking at you. He’s watching you with that intense look of his that you still have trouble reading the meaning behind. Whatever it is, though, you’re finding that you kind of like it.

Chapter Two: Fivey Junior

As I leave the diner and Klaus goes off to do whatever the hell Klaus does, I stand on the sidewalk outside for a minute or two. My hands in my pants pockets, I lean up against the building and close my eyes, taking a deep breath. What the fuck am I doing?

It’s true I wanted nothing to do with her in the beginning. I’m tired of having to deal with Klaus’s random friends and whatever stray he decides to bring home for a week or two. They usually end up making a mess, drinking all of my good beer, and eating my Grape Nuts cereal. But then they are eventually gone and he moves on to the next one. Men and women. Sometimes both at the same time. It’s exhausting just watching him and I honestly have no idea how he does it. I’m definitely too old for that shit. Meanwhile, though, I have to live with it.

So, when she showed up, I could not have cared less. Just add it to the long line of other free loaders. But then she stuck around longer than usual. She was there most mornings and most nights. I couldn’t turn around without finding another stupid pink hair tie of hers and there was suddenly strawberry scented shampoo in the shower. According to Klaus things were not serious between them, but he liked having her around and apparently she felt the same about him.

Then, that day she grabbed my arm and accused me of being a mean old man, well I may have shifted my opinion of her just slightly. No one ever challenges me and they certainly never grab me like that. Not without a serious death wish, anyway. But when she did it, I don’t know why, but I didn’t mind. I hadn’t spent enough time around her to really study her up close, but once she was in my face, calling me rude, I could see the little speckles in her eyes. And see how pink her lips were and smell that strawberry shampoo. When I shook her hand, it felt soft and warm.

It was like she made it a personal mission of hers to wear me down, and I have to admit it really fucking worked. She’s nice and bubbly and sunshiny all the time, and that should be the most irritating goddamn thing in the world, but for some reason it’s not. She also calls me out on my bullshit, which no one ever does, outside of my family, and so I have to admire her for that.

That morning when she made me coffee for the first time, that sealed the deal. Not because it was damn good coffee, because it was. It was that she genuinely wanted to talk to me. I have no idea why; she wasn’t wrong when she called me rude before. Still, as much as I didn’t mind the company, I wasn’t going to put too much effort in. I figured she’d be gone soon enough.

The days that followed, though, she was still there. And now every morning I meet her in the kitchen and we sit and chat and drink our coffee. And it’s nice. Nice enough that I make sure to get up extra early every day just to have that time with her to myself. She’s intelligent and funny, and almost as much of a sarcastic smart-ass as myself.

She’s beautiful, too. I can’t stop watching her any time she’s around me. Whatever she’s doing, I’m mesmerized and I have to remind myself to stop staring like a creep. I like the way she moves with confidence around me and the way she gestures with her hands when she talks. I like her voice in the morning when it’s still a little raspy from sleep. I try not to look at the rest of her body, because I know she’s technically too young for me and I’m being a gross old man, but fuck, she is sexy. I know why Klaus likes her. She really is fucking delightful.

This morning I really didn’t want to get breakfast. After I saw Klaus stroking her hair like that, the last thing I wanted to do was see more of the two of them shoved in my face. When she berated me for not going, though, I had a hard time saying no again. She seems to be able to do that to me. But then what just happened back there in the diner? Was I flirting ? Did I actually wink at her while talking about my dick? Holy shit, did I just tell her I tried to suck my own dick? Yes. Yes, I did.

I drop my head back on the brick building, hard, and groan. What is wrong with me? I am a grown ass man. I am not some love-struck teenager with a hard on for every girl that looks in my direction. I do not pine for women. And let’s not gloss over the fact that she’s dating Klaus, my actual brother. They might not be serious, but that’s a pretty shitty thing to do. Fuck, I need to get a life.

And now, because Klaus is completely oblivious and also apparently thinks I have too much free time on my hands, I am committed to seeing her again today. Of course I don’t mind helping her and I’m happy to do it, but I’m nervous just thinking about it. Why should I be, though? It’s just us talking over coffee like we have been for several mornings now. The only thing different is that it will be in an outside location. At her coffee shop. Just the two of us, no Klaus. Almost like… I swear to god if you even entertain that idea right now… date.

“God fucking fuck damn it FUCK!” I yell out loud on the street while I kick at the brick wall with my good shoes, scuffing them up in the process.

Several people are looking at me like I’m an insane person and a couple of them are crossing the street to get away from the raving lunatic trying to beat up a building. To avoid the concerned stares, I blink away and reappear a few streets over. I might as well keep walking, maybe that will clear my head and stop with all these ridiculous thoughts.

It’s a nice day, at least, and I end up at a park, taking a seat on a bench as I wallow in my own self-pity. There’s an older man on the bench next to me, reaching into a bag of bread and throwing the crumbs out to the pigeons gathering around his feet. He looks over at me and I give him a nod of approval, thinking that looks like a nice way to pass the time, but have you seen the price of bread these days? I lean forward and put my head in my hands, groaning out loud at myself while my pigeon friend gives me the side eye.

One thing that has started happening since she came along is that I sometimes forget my real age. I was at least able to age myself up by 8 years or so when we arrived in this timeline, thanks to some tricky time-math and a whole lot of luck, but I’m still well older than my body portrays me. It used to shock the hell out of me every time I’d pass by a mirror and see a stranger looking back at me. Then, after a while, I got used to it and I’m not going to complain; trading your broken old body in for a new model definitely has its perks. No more aching bones, tired muscles, or mysterious bruises that seem to appear out of nowhere. And I won’t get started on the new and improved libido, but suffice to say it’s a nice bonus.

Even though I have gotten used to the newer, younger me, I have never felt young mentally. I have remained the same stubborn old man that has resided in my head for decades now. It’s a weird contradiction to have the energy to stay out all night, yet still rather be at home catching up on this season’s Antiques Roadshow. But this is the first time in the last few years that I’ve started to feel more like my younger self. And maybe it’s because I don’t want to feel like a dirty old man, lusting after a woman more than half my age. That is definitely part of it, but the other part is that she just makes me forget. She makes me feel younger.

The hours are dragging by, but I still don’t feel like going home, so I continue to wander around. I come to the conclusion that I am being a selfish, delusional bastard and I just need to cut it out. If I really think about it and start psychoanalyzing myself, there’s a clear reason why I’m having all of these misdirected feelings. It’s obvious that my years of solitude have left me ill equipped when it comes to forming human relationships. In my still-infantile mind, a simple friendship between a man and woman has manifested itself into something more, because it doesn’t know the difference. The chemicals in my brain are confused and don’t know when and how to release themselves at the appropriate times.

I know that dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine are produced upon initial attraction to another person, and that oxytocin is released when you presume you are in love. Everyone knows that. So, it’s obvious that I just need to reprogram my brain so that it is not confusing mutual amicability with something more. As usual, if you approach something from a scientific aspect and remove emotions from the equation, problems become much easier to solve. Simple science makes everything so much clearer.

It’s finally close to 4pm when I’m supposed to meet her at the café, so I start making my way over there. I have a new outlook on this meeting now. I am happy to look over her finances and make any suggestions that I see could be helpful. If she asks for my opinion, I’ll give it. Then, I will take my leave, go home, and continue on with my life. No more of this internal longing bullshit.

Then I arrive there and…well, fuck. So much for science.

I am standing outside of the café looking in through the windows and I can see her in there. She’s standing next to one of the tables, talking with another woman who is sitting down with a mug in front of her. I obviously can’t hear her, but I watch as her face breaks into a beautiful smile and she laughs. A laugh I can hear in my mind because I’ve memorized it. She crosses her arms over her chest, which squeezes her breasts together and accentuates her cleavage. When she finishes her conversation and walks back towards the counter at the front, my eyes travel down to her round butt bouncing along in the tight jeans she’s wearing.

“Excuse me.”

I am snapped out of my voyeuristic weirdness by an annoyed voice belonging to a woman behind me. Apparently, I’m blocking the doorway and she would like to enter the building. I open the door for her and she walks past me while I try to get a grip. I follow the woman inside and up to the counter.

When she sees me, she smiles and I automatically shove my hands in my pockets to try and portray an air of casualness.

“Hey there, Fivey,” she says with a big shit-eating grin.

I shake my head and attempt to look mad. “Do not call me that. It’s bad enough Klaus does.”

“It’s so cute, though! It’s like his little pet name for you.”

“I’m not sure why my idiot brother feels the need to make my name even weirder than it already is.”

She snorts out a laugh and then bites her bottom lip, and honestly both of those things are going to send me through the roof, she’s so fucking cute.

“Ok, so no nickname, fair enough. Still willing to help me out?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

She turns away, but not before I see an eyeroll, as she grabs a coffee cup and fills it up, handing it over the counter to me.

“Here you are. One free coffee. As promised.”

“Thanks. I can pay for it though, you don’t really have to give it to me.”

“No please, just take it. I promise I won’t think you are ungentlemanly for it,” she says with a small smile and I can see she’s obviously teasing me about my comment in the diner earlier.

“You make fun of me, but one of the perks of being with an older man is that we know how to take care of our ladies.”

It just came out of my mouth without thinking and I can feel my face getting hot. I’m just praying that she can’t see me blushing. What the hell is going on with me?

“Oh, is that so? I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, then,” she says with a flirty tone.

I have no idea what to say next without sounding like a complete asshole, so I just don’t say anything and instead take a sip of my coffee.

She clears her throat. “Well, let me go grab my stuff and we can sit down at one of the tables.”

She disappears into the back for a minute, returning with her heavy looking tote bag from earlier. I follow her over to a small two-top table and we sit across from one another. As she fishes around in her bag and unloads her laptop and some file folders, I watch as a lock of hair falls in front her face and all I can think about is reaching over and tucking it behind her ear. Obviously, I do not do this.

I look over all of her financial information and everything looks like it’s in order. When I start asking about something I’m reading on her laptop, she gets annoyed that she can’t see the screen well, and so she comes around to my side of the table, sitting directly next to me. I can smell that strawberry shampoo again and our legs brush together. I swallow nervously.

“I think everything looks good here. Your credit scores are high, you have no debts, and you’re asking for a reasonable amount. I don’t really see why they would deny you.”

“Do you think so? I know it’s stupid, but I’m so nervous! The meeting with the bank is tomorrow morning.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“It’s just…if I don’t get this loan I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve put so much into this place, I already feel like it’s my own. But I’m not going to work as a coffee shop manager for the rest of my life. I at least want to be a business owner. You know, something I can be proud of.”

I nod. “I think you should be proud of yourself no matter what.”

She scoffs a little. “Ok, thanks Dad,” she says sarcastically.

Just like that, I come crashing down to reality as I’m reminded who I really am. I am not a 20-something year old. I am old enough to be her actual dad. And while that really has no bearing on anything, considering nothing is going to happen between us anyway, it’s still a kick in the nuts. She must see it on my face, because I see her cringe.

“That was a joke. I don’t actually think of you as a dad.”

“I know.” My voice is clipped as I try to hide my embarrassment.

She leans into me and bumps my shoulder with hers in a friendly gesture. “Thank you. For helping me with this.”

“You didn’t need my help. You’ve got this.”

“Well, thank you anyway. And thank you for putting up with me. I know I annoy you by always hanging around your place.”

"It’s true, you are a giant pain in the ass,” I say with a smile. “But, as giant pains in the asses go, you’re not so bad.”

“Aw…thanks Fivey!”

She laughs at my irritated face, which I am only making to keep up the façade. She can call me anything she wants, really. I don’t mind.

I am sitting at home the next afternoon, when she comes bursting through the door of the apartment. She's absolutely bouncing up and down with glee and when she sees Klaus she runs over to him and he picks her up in a big bear hug. She has on what I assume to be her business attire from her bank meeting, and I can’t stop staring. It’s a tight pencil skirt with a short, fitted blazer on top and black high heels. When Klaus lifts her up, her jacket pulls up in the back and I am treated to a very small window of her bare skin just above the waist of her skirt. I’m not sure if I want to look there, or down a little bit lower to wear the material is hugging her hips and ass.

“I got it!” she shrieks and kisses Klaus before he sets her down again.

“That’s great, babe!” he tells her.

Then she turns to me, as I stand there staring like a dope. Before I know it she has her arms wrapped around me and my face is covered by her hair as she hooks her chin over my shoulder. I don’t know what to do, I’m practically paralyzed with shock. I can’t even bring my arms up to hug her back, so they just stay limply at my sides. I take a breath and close my eyes, inhaling the scent of her hair and skin. She lets go of me and steps back and my immediate impulse is to pull her right back into me again. But I don’t. Instead, I just continue doing nothing.

“I cannot thank you enough, Five. You helped me do this.”

“I…I really didn’t do anything.”

“Well, you gave me the confidence I needed and made me feel like I knew what I was doing before I went in there. So, thank you. Really.”

She is smiling so genuinely and sweetly at me and I just can’t believe she is giving me any credit for anything. But I figure if I keep putting off her compliments she’ll get annoyed, so instead, I get weird and flustered.

“Yeah, well, you’re welcome. No problem.” I look from her to Klaus and back again. “Alright, well I’m going to leave you two dimwits to yourselves. See you later.” Then I blink away before either of them can respond.

It’s the next morning and I wake up early, but I don’t get up to meet her for coffee this time. I can’t keep torturing myself like this and pretending we have some sort of connection is just sad and pathetic. The truth is, she is with Klaus right now. Maybe they aren’t technically in a committed relationship, but she’s here in the apartment because of him, not me. And because they supposedly aren’t serious, that also means they will eventually tire of one another and one day she just won’t be here anymore. And it makes me fucking sick to even think about it.

Instead, I start thinking about her running into Klaus’s arms and kissing him yesterday. I hate how much that bothered me. I hate how much I wanted that to be me. I’m lying here in my bed, alone, and all I can think about is lifting her up in my arms, her body pressed to mine as she kisses me. It’s so fucking pathetic and yet, I can’t stop. I replay it over and over in my mind; her smile and her lips and the adorable way she would squeak if I squeezed her to me.

Soon, my pathetic little daydream has evolved into something much dirtier than a hug and kiss. I think about how her tits would feel pressed up against my chest. About how her firm ass would feel under my hands. And how badly I want her legs wrapped around my waist.

I groan sadly and palm my erection through my underwear. Fuck. Rather than sit and jerk off in my bed, I decide I should just head to the shower and kills two birds with one stone. The bathroom is directly across from my bedroom and I make the quick blink over so that I won’t have the humiliating experience of bumping into the person that’s responsible for my boner problem in the first place.

In the shower, my imagination runs wild. I obviously have never seen her naked, but I can certainly conjure up an image in my head that I decide is probably pretty close. I picture her straddling me, my cock deep inside of her, while she fucks me hard and fast. Those tits that I’ve only seen the outlines of through her t-shirts are bouncing up and down in front of my face and, Jesus Chris, it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. My hand is acting as a sad substitute for her tight cunt as I lean my head on my hand against the wall and close my eyes.

I imagine her moaning my name as she throws her head back and works her hips harder and faster on top of me. I can feel her soft flesh as my fingers dig into her sides and push her down; all the while thrusting my own hips up because I can’t get enough. As a final act of delusion, I throw her off of me and flip her over. I pound into her from behind, listening as she cries and sobs from the intensity of it all. I hear her pleading, telling me she’s sorry for ever wanting anyone else but me; that it will only be me from now on. I urge her on as I penetrate her harder, demanding she fucks only me from now on. She is mine and I’ll be goddamned if anyone else is going to touch her from here on out.

I’m only yours, Five…you’re all I want…all I need. I love—

“Hey, Klaus, have you seen my…Oh shit!”

The sound of her voice in real life has me floundering, trying to remember what the fuck is going on, and I turn around just in time to see her horrified face which mirrors mine. Our eyes lock for what has to be a fraction of a second, but feels like an eternity, and I see her glance briefly downward and then back up again.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she stammers, before quickly closing the shower curtain with a flourish.

I don’t know what to say or do, and there’s no time to do it anyway, as I stand there with my eyes wide and my dick in my hands. I hear the bathroom door slam shut and I’m left alone again. If I have felt shameful or embarrassed about any of my actions in the past, they are nothing compared with what I’m feeling now.

I want to die. I want to dissolve into liquid form and slip down the drain, washing away with all the other filth and disappearing into the sewers. I quickly contemplate my options. I’m a smart guy, I can come up with something. I could blink away and never return to this apartment ever again. Klaus might wonder what happened to me, but eventually he’d get over it. After all, it’s not the first time I’ve vanished without a trace. I could try some serious time travel again, maybe jumping backwards this time. Give the 1800s a try; live out the rest of my days doing something mundane like a blacksmith or a chimney sweep.

Instead, I just stand there, the shame and embarrassment washing over me. The most fucked up thing is that I’m still hard. I saw her face and her shock and it still didn’t dissuade my traitorous hormones. I need to finish and I’m horrified at the thought. Not horrified enough, though, because I start stroking myself again. I keep picturing her in my mind, even though I know she knows what I am doing and maybe that’s part of why I like it.

In some psychotic part of my brain, I like that she saw me jerking off. She doesn’t know that it was her I was thinking of, but I can start to convince myself that she might like it. She might like that I was fucking my hand to images of her naked body on top of mine. She might actually be flattered that I’m thinking of her riding me hard and fast and violently. That I’m imagining her moaning my name and coming around my cock.

A few more seconds of vigorous self-pleasuring and my hand is stilling as I unleash ropes of cum over my stomach and onto the shower floor. It mixes with the water and rushes down the drain as my eyes clench tightly shut and I groan as quietly as I can through gritted teeth. It’s bad enough she saw me in here, she doesn’t need to hear me, too.

After I am milked dry, and my breathing starts to slow again, I let go of my shrinking dick and wash myself off. I feel like the loser of the century. She’s probably out there right now, telling Klaus all about it and laughing. They’re probably discussing how sad I am and how much I really need to get a life. And they’d be right.

Once I’m cleaned off and dressed again, I listen closely from inside my room, trying to determine if she’s still here or not. After a while, I still haven’t heard signs of anyone else, and I figure the coast is clear. I blink out of my room and head towards the kitchen. I need a fucking drink and I don’t even care that it’s still morning. Anything to help erase this horrifying feeling.

In the kitchen, I’m looking through the cupboard where we keep the booze, trying to decide if it’s a vodka or a whiskey kind of morning, when I hear soft foot-steps and a gentle clearing of a throat. Fuck. Can I just get a fucking break once in a while? My spine stiffens and I think of just blinking out of there without even turning around, but then she starts talking to me.

“Hey, so…I am so sorry for busting in on you like that. Klaus had said he was going to take a shower, so I just assumed that was him in there, and I was looking for my slippers that I thought I left in the bathroom, and that was really stupid of me to just assume that…I am really very sorry, I would never have, if I had known it was you, obviously I wouldn’t have, but like I said, I thought it was Klaus, and…ugh…I’m sorry. I hope this isn’t going to make things weird.”

I almost laugh at her run-on sentence of stammering apologies. Almost. Instead, I grab a bottle of vodka and turn around with a glare.

“So, when exactly are you leaving?”

She hesitates. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, when are you getting the fuck out of here? I realize you and Klaus are having fun playing house or whatever the fuck it is you do around here, but this is my apartment, too. In fact, it’s more mine than his, since I pay the bulk of the rent. And I don’t remember asking for a third roommate.”

I see a brief look of hurt cross her face before she is challenging back. “Look, just because I accidentally walked in on you, doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole about it. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed? I’m not embarrassed, sweetheart, so don't flatter yourself. And this has nothing to do with that. I’m just wondering when I can look forward to not seeing your face every time I turn around in my own goddamn house!”

She nods, her lips pursed together, and her hands on her hips. “Alright, Five, you win. I thought maybe we were beginning to be friends, but I can see that is not the case. I will do my best to stay out of your way. I’m sorry for any inconveniences I’ve caused you.”

After another few seconds of angry glaring, she turns around and leaves. I take the stopper out of the vodka and tip the entire bottle back, swallowing at least three full gulps before I can’t take the burning in my throat and stomach anymore. I don’t know why I’m like this. I don’t know why I have to be a fucking dick to everyone, especially the people I care about. Well, I guess I should look on the bright side. I won’t have to worry about letting my true feelings out around her. Because now she wants nothing to do with me.

Chapter Three: Crazy Train

It was bad, there was no mistaking it. And it was all your fault; at least the beginning part. You certainly hadn’t meant to walk in on him in the shower. You really had assumed it was Klaus in there. You had been wrong. Very, very wrong. So, yeah, you really fucked that one up.

Things had been going so well, too. You were actually getting along and finding that you really liked spending time with Five. You assumed he liked spending time with you, too, even though he never came right out and said so. Although, with him, you doubted he would ever admit to that. But you knew he did, otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered even speaking to you, let alone hanging out with you.

Even though you’re the one who did the unannounced shower barge-in, you still think he’s overreacting. Sure, you saw him completely naked, but it was only for a couple of seconds and it’s not like you haven’t seen a naked man before. And sure, you are like 99% positive he was banging out some knuckle babies while he was in there, but that part is not your fault. How were you to know there would be some salami slapping going on in there when you opened the curtain?

Now he’s pissed off at you and has gone back to his old, dickish ways. He’s barely acknowledging you anymore and he stopped coming into the kitchen for coffee in the mornings. You understand he’s probably embarrassed, but he should be able to get over it, for fuck’s sake. He’s always claiming he’s the mature one around here, but he sure as hell isn’t acting like it right now.

You definitely think he should be able to move on from that little incident, but you can’t seem to stop thinking about it, either. Although, not for the same reasons. It had only been a couple of seconds if that, but that image has been burned into your brain. And not necessarily in a bad way. In that tiny glimpse that you got, it did not disappoint.

You keep finding yourself staring off, lost in another inappropriate daydream, as you remember exactly what he had looked like. Wet, naked, and clearly aroused, it was enough of a picture to keep you occupied. If men have spank banks, what do you call it for women? Rub hub? Finger vault? Whatever it is, that image is in yours now. And, fuck, it’s a good one.

Klaus has an amazing body, there’s no doubt about that. He’s lithe and toned and has a cinched-in waist that you’re envious of. But when you saw Five’s body…holy shit. He’s a little more solid than Klaus, and his muscles are well-defined but not huge. His chest is smooth and firm, and his abs look like they’re cut from stone, all the way down to the soft line of hair trailing southward to the main event. From the quick peek you had gotten of the goods in his hand, he either somehow used his powers to beef himself up, or that may have been the one thing in his tragic life that he lucked out on. Because, damn. Combine that with a tight ass, the water cascading down his body, and his dark, wet hair pushed off his face, and that is definitely enough to give you some material for the next time you’re double-clicking your mouse.

It's a week after “the incident”, and you have just come back from work and it’s late. You haven’t been over to see Klaus in a few days because you’ve been so busy, but you decide to stop by because you know he’ll still be up. Plus, you’re feeling the need to get some sexual release that isn’t in the form of your hand or vibrator, and you know he’ll be up for that, too.

You don’t see Five anywhere, which is probably a good thing, and you and Klaus hang out in the living room for a while, having a couple of drinks and catching up. When you decide to head to the bedroom, that’s when Five makes his presence known. Loudly.

Mid-make out and partially undressed, the two of you hear the pounding bass and blaring guitar riff of AC/DC’s “Back in Black” coming from Five’s bedroom. He is blasting it at full volume and as much as you like listening to Brian Johnson scream at the top of his lungs, it’s not really setting the mood at the moment. You ignore it for a little while longer, trying to focus on Klaus’s hands working their way down between your legs. When it’s clear you’re not really into it, he stops.

“What’s wrong?”

You huff. “Seriously? Isn’t this annoying you, too?”

Klaus shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s not that bad. I like loud music, and Five has good taste.”

“Well, it’s distracting and you know he’s doing it on purpose. It’s just rude.”

“Just ignore it.”

He pulls you on top of him, and you straddle his waist. But when you lean down to kiss him again, it’s clear you are not going to be able to get your mind in the game; not with the walls shaking from the constant pulse of the mini-rock concert going on down the hall. You let out another frustrated growl.

“I’m going to go say something,” you tell Klaus, pushing yourself off of him.

He props himself up on his elbows. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

You roll your eyes. “Please. What’s he doing to do? I’m not scared of him.”

“Right, no, I know. Me either. But…”

“But, what?”

“You know, he’s just…testy.”

As you’re getting off the bed, you give Klaus an exasperated look. “He’s a big man baby is what he is. And I’m tired of his shit.”

Before Klaus can say anything more, you’re walking out the door and heading to the source of the music. The song has now switched over to “Crazy Train”. You pound on the door to Five’s room, waiting with your arms folded across your chest. That’s when you remember you are not wearing a bra. Or pants. You only have a loose-fitting t-shirt on and some ridiculous underwear with cartoon cats on them because you haven’t done laundry in a while and all your good panties are in the wash. Luckily, the shirt covers up most of your crotch area.

You’re not getting an answer, so you pound the door with your fist again. Mid-pound, the door swings open wide, the blaring music becoming even louder. Five is already in the middle of a rant.

“Klaus, I have told you a thousand fucking times, I do not have your lighter…oh.”

Five stops mid-sentence when he realizes it’s you. He’s standing there shirtless, with only his black pants on, belt unbuckled and hanging open. His hair is disheveled, and he seems to be swaying slightly; holding onto the door for balance. That’s when you notice he has a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. He looks at you for a second, his hooded eyes slowly moving over your body with his mouth partially open before his face changes and he smirks.

He takes another swig of whiskey from the bottle before addressing you. “Something I can help you with, princess?”

You’re stunned into silence for a beat or two, trying to process the fact that you are once again blessed with another glimpse of his body, as well as the fact that he is drunk. You hesitate with your mouth hanging open like a moron, which Five obviously notices because he has that damn arrogant look on his face again. Finally, you snap out of it.

“Is there a reason you’re blaring your music that loud right now?” you demand.

“Yeah, there is. Because it’s my fucking room and I can do what I want in it.”

“God, you are such a dick! I know you’re doing it on purpose just to piss me off.”

Five shakes his head slowly and takes another drink. “Sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart, but not everything is about you. Pissing you off in the process is a definite perk, though.”

You ball your hands up at your side and grit your teeth. “I’m not buying any of your bullshit, Five. I know you’re mad at me, and that’s fine. But you’re acting like a fucking child right now!”

“I think you’re mistaken. I’m not the one who can’t stand to be alone for more than a few hours. I’m not the one that needs constant attention and validation from someone. So who’s the child now, hmm?”

“What are you talking about? I do not.”

He grins. “Oh yeah? Want to tell me what you’re doing here all the time then? Why you’re here when you have a perfectly good apartment of your own to go to? ‘Cause I bet it’s not because of my brother.”

That throws you off a little and you don’t immediately have a comeback. Five snorts derisively. You narrow your eyes.

“Fuck you!” you spit out.

Five raises an eyebrow and lets out a short laugh. “Ohhh…maybe that’s why you’re always here. Well, sorry, honey. Hate to disappoint you, but you’re not my type.”

With your own sarcastic smile, you shoot back. “I know I’m not, honey. From what I’ve seen, I’m guessing you prefer to take matters into your own hands if you know what I’m saying.” That seems to have shut him up and he stands there, clinging to the door frame with his hair hanging in his face. Before you let him think of another comeback you give him a tiny wave and turn around. “I’ll leave you and Mr. Daniels to it, then. Remember, Fivey, don’t go too hard at it. I hear carpal tunnel is a real bitch.”

As you walk away, you hear the door slam behind you. You’re irritated and pissed off. And now you are horny. How the fuck is that possible? Well, there’s a good solution for that, and it’s waiting in the other room for you. You stalk over to Klaus’s room, making sure to leave the door slightly ajar. Klaus is still on the bed on his back and he’s lit up a joint in the process. When he sees you enter, he sits up.

“Oh, good, you’re alive. How did that go?”

“Great,” you say under your breath.

Then you are pulling your shirt over your head and yanking your underwear off. You immediately climb onto the bed and over the top of Klaus, grabbing the joint and tossing it into the ashtray at the side of the bed. He’s shocked when instead of saying anything, you lean down, grabbing his face in both hands and forcefully kissing him. After a moment his hands are on your hips and he’s smiling against your mouth.

“That’s more like it,” he says before you’re devouring his mouth again.

You don’t want to talk and you don’t need any more foreplay. You just want to fuck. Hard and rough, and loud. Luckily, Klaus is already pretty fired up and you can feel him hard underneath you as you straddle him. He still has his briefs on, so you hastily tug them off. If he’s wondering why you’re all of a sudden trying to mount him like a wild dog in heat, he doesn’t say anything. He seems pretty happy when you line yourself up and sink onto his dick, letting it fill you up in one shove. You let out a whine before looking down at him.

“I want to fuck. Hard,” you tell him in between gasping breaths.

“Yeah, baby, fuck me as hard as you want,” he rasps before smacking your ass and giving you a sly smile.

“Don’t talk. Just fuck,” you instruct him.

He obviously doesn’t care that you’re ordering him around, because his hands are on your tits as you start riding him fast and hard. You don’t even work up to it, you’re just pounding yourself onto his cock and you can already feel the beads of sweat starting to form on your skin. You’ve never been this worked up in your life, and you have no idea why. That’s not true; you know exactly why. You just don’t want to admit it, even to yourself.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you work as hard as you can, thrusting your hips back and forth and grunting with the effort. Throwing your head back, you cry out as loudly as you can, practically screaming at the top of your lungs. If the neighbors can hear you, it probably sounds like you’re being murdered to the soundtrack of Ozzy Osbourne right now. You’re making as much noise as possible; crying, wailing, and begging for more. And it’s all on purpose because you want a certain someone to know what he’s missing out on. Klaus is either shocked into submission by your sudden change in demeanor, or he’s in heaven. Either way, he’s not saying anything.

With your eyes closed, and no voice attached to the body you’re penetrating yourself with, you start to imagine what you’ve been trying to push out of your mind. You might hate him at the moment and think he’s a total asshole, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to climb on top of him like a spider monkey and fuck his brains out.

In your mind, it’s not Klaus anymore, it’s Five. And you want more of him, even though that’s not physically possible. You run your hands down his perfect chest and abdomen, clutching at his thighs as you lean back to get a different angle. He’s watching you with those piercing eyes, looking up at you with that damn smirk of his.

“That’s right baby, fuck Daddy hard.”

Whoa, Daddy? Where the fuck did that come from? Shit, I have some real problems.

There’s no time to dwell on that psychological component because you just can’t get enough. His hands are on your hips and then on your ass, long fingers gripping tightly into you and pushing you even further down onto his cock. You’re still crying out, moaning loudly while you lean down to kiss him. You can feel his hand in your hair and his lips pressed against yours as you continue to rock into him.

“You feel so good, sweetheart. Don’t stop,” he’s saying in that husky voice of his.

“I need more,” you’re pleading and he laughs at you.

“Tell Daddy what you want, darling.”

Fuck, what is happening to me?

You don’t know what’s happening to you, other than you’re so fucking wet, you feel like you’re going to slide right off of Klaus’s dick and onto the floor. You open your eyes, stop your crazy thrusts, and abruptly climb off. Klaus lets out a hiss at the sudden loss of your warm, wet walls clenched around him.

“Fuck me from behind,” you pant, even as you’re already getting into position on your hands and knees.

“Shit,” he’s murmuring under his breath, but he doesn’t argue.

You feel him behind you and the anticipation is driving you crazy. When he slams into you, hips smacking against your ass and his hands pulling you backward hard and fast, you let out a sound that might be close to a sob. Your fists clench the bedsheets and from this angle, you don’t have to keep your eyes closed to slip back into your imaginary sex fantasy.

Five is behind you, plowing you so forcibly that it’s hard to keep yourself steady. It feels so fucking good, and everything you’ve been wanting. You don’t know how he’s weaseled his way into your head like this, but it probably has something to do with that goddamn body of his. Or his impossibly handsome face. Or those hands. Fuck, you want those hands on you and in you, and doing whatever else he pleases with them.

“Tell me,” he demands as he rams into you over and over again. “Tell me what you want. Let me give it to you.”

“Oh god…please…don’t stop fucking me!”

You’re not even sure if you said that out loud or not, but it doesn’t matter. His hand comes around to finger you while he rails you as hard as possible. You’re going to lose it any second now, you can feel it. His fingers are pressing against your clit and he continues talking to you inside your head; telling you everything you are dying to hear.

“You like it when Daddy fucks you like this, don’t you? When I fuck you so hard you can’t think straight?”

“Yes…yes,” you’re whining over and over again.

His hands are working their magic while his impressive cock is driving into your pussy. No one has made your body react like this before and you want to cry from the sheer overload of emotions.

“Let me hear you, sweet girl. You know what you want.”

“I want you! Oh fuck…you’re going to make me come,” you whimper.

“Say it again,” he snarls. “Say it again and scream my name when I make you come.”

“I want you! I want you so fucking badly. Please…keep fucking me…I need…oh god yes! Fii—fff-fuck!”

You catch yourself right at the last second as your orgasm rips through you, creating shocks of pleasure all throughout your body. Your muscles are contracting and your skin is hot and tingling. You are moaning like you are in pain and the sheets underneath you are balled tightly in your fists. There is a layer of sweat over your entire body and your breaths are coming out in ragged gasps. You are vaguely aware of Klaus behind you, gripping your hips while he lets loose with his own climax.

Several seconds pass while neither of you move. After a while, he pulls out and you fall onto your stomach, sprawled out and completely spent.

“Holy. Shit,” Klaus breathes out as he runs a hand down your back. “Where the hell did that come from?”

You laugh softly and push your hair out of your face. “I don’t know. I guess I was just a little wound up.”

“A little wound up? Shit, babe, I’m fairly certain the authorities have been alerted by several people in this building. In which case, I should probably hide some shit.”

You move your tired body and sit up, your legs shaking. You feel bad that you went a little crazy on him, especially considering the entire smutty movie that had been playing in your head the entire time. The one that didn’t involve Klaus in any way. You smile and shrug, then start moving off the bed to gather up your clothes.

“I know, that was a little over the top. Sorry.”

Klaus shakes his head and picks up the joint out of the ashtray you had thrown it in and takes a hit. After exhaling a cloud of smoke into the air, he studies you with creased eyebrows.

“Do not apologize for that. Ever.” Then he pauses before that sly grin starts spreading over his face. “Wait a minute, I know what was different. What probably lit a fire in your kitty cat panties. Old Fivey in there!”

You are in the process of tugging your shirt back over your head and your face isn’t visible to him, which is a damn good thing because it is probably beet red at the moment. You take an extra long time to pull it down over your head and you try and keep your composure.

“That’s ridiculous! I am not hot for Five!”

Klaus lets out a small giggle and shakes his head. “No, no, not like that. I meant I bet it was that crazy sexy hard rock he’s been pumping out of his room. Gets you all pumped up, too, doesn’t it? I don’t blame you though, fucking to loud music with a pounding bassline like that is amazing.”

You let out a sigh of relief and then laugh. “Yeah, you’re right, it does kind of get me going. That must have been it. Not to mention I haven’t been over in a while. I needed to let off some pent-up sexual frustration.”

Klaus bows and it’s hilarious because he’s still naked with a joint in his hand. “Glad to be of service, madam.”

You walk over and pat him on the butt. “Thank you. As always, you know how to deliver.”

“Do you want to stay here tonight?”

It had been your intention to head home for the rest of the night, but now that you’re here and Klaus is offering, you don’t really want to go back to your apartment alone. You like staying here in Klaus’s bed, with his body heat warming you up as you lie next to him, quietly chatting together until you drift off to sleep. Sometimes you’ll be on the very edge of sleep and he’ll whisper something so stupid and off the wall that you can’t help laughing and you’re awake again, with no hope of sleep after that.

But if you stay, that means Five was right about you. You really do come over because you don’t like being alone. You don’t need constant attention from anyone, that part is not true, but you like the companionship. Even if you and Klaus stopped having sex, you’d still want to come over all the time. You like hanging out with him and even on the occasions he’s not there, the apartment feels cozier and more lived in than yours. You have thought about getting a roommate, but all of your current friends are either in serious relationships or prefer to live alone. The thought of trying to advertise for a stranger to move in and then interview people to decide if you want to share your space with them seems exhausting. So, you’d rather just stay here as often as you can.

Even though you just mind-fucked him like crazy, you internally curse Five for reading you so correctly.

“Yeah, I’d like to if that’s ok.”

Klaus pulls on his underwear before flopping back on the bed. “Of course! You’re always welcome here, you know that.”

“Yeah, well, tell that to your brother. He’s been giving me a ration of shit lately about being around here so much,” you grumble as you crawl in next to him.

“I thought you two were getting along.”

“Well, we were, but then…” you almost let slip that you walked in on Five in the shower. You hadn’t told Klaus about that because you already felt bad for embarrassing the guy, you didn’t need to get anyone else involved. “I don’t know, I guess he changed his mind or something. Because now he definitely is not a fan of mine.”

Klaus frowns. “Hmm..well, that sucks. We should be the three amigos!”

“Pretty sure he does not want to be mi amigo at the moment.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Tell him to stop being such a grouch.”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to do that,” you protest.

“No, no, I want to. It’s important to me that he can get along with you. Five may be a scary, unhinged assassin who once threatened to kill me by describing in excruciating detail all of the steps he was going to take to do it. Like, he literally wrote them out on a yellow legal pad with graphics next to each one and handed it to me. I don’t remember the full list, but it involved a step ladder, some Elmer’s glue, and a toaster oven. Anyway, he may be scary like that, but he’s not all bad. He just needs to lighten up a little. Don’t worry, I’ll fix it.”

You laugh. “What did you do to piss him off that time?”

Klaus rolls his eyes and sighs. “Oh, I don’t know. It wasn’t a big deal. I may have accidentally eaten a large number of mushrooms and decided to strip naked and crawl into bed with him in the middle of the night.”

“I mean, that’s pretty funny but it doesn’t sound that bad.”

“Well, no, that part isn’t. It was when I started violently humping him from behind and licking his neck that he kind of got a little uppity about it.”

You start laughing harder. “You humped him and licked his neck?!”

“Yeah. I don’t really remember a lot of it, but apparently, I had him in a pretty good death grip while calling him “Alberto” and demanding to speak with his manager. I guess he was able to blink away just in time before I unloaded my high fructose porn syrup all over his superhero jammies.”

You are laughing so hard at that image that tears are rolling down your cheeks. “Ok, I understand why he wanted to kill you, now. You kind of had it coming.”

Klaus waves a hand flippantly in the air. “Now you sound just like him.”

The next morning, you get up before Klaus, just like always. As you make your way to the kitchen, you can hear rattling around in there and you pause. You think about heading back to the bedroom just to avoid any confrontation, but then you change your mind. You’re not going to hide from him. As you walk in, there is Five, busy making coffee. He looks like shit and you smile a little to yourself. Good, serves you right.

“’ Morning, sunshine!” you exclaim cheerily, just to piss him off. “You’re up early. I figured you’d be sleeping the day away after your little one-man frat party last night.”

He turns to you with a look that you know is intended to intimidate, but is not quite working considering he looks like death warmed over. His eyes are bloodshot, his hair is a tangled mess, and he’s still wearing the rumpled pants you had seen him in last night. And of course, he has not bothered to put on a shirt again. Jesus, will this guy put some clothes on and give me a fucking break?

“Oh, good, it’s you. I was worried maybe you had decided to fuck off and leave me alone. But, nope, here you are again.”

You give a snort and sit down at the kitchen table. You’re not really sure why you’re still there, but you don’t want him to think he’s scared you off so you stand your ground. Instead, you say nothing but start humming Pink’s “U + Ur Hand” under your breath. You know Five hears you because you can see his shoulders tense and his hands flex. You smile to yourself.

When he turns to you again, his arms crossed over his bare chest and his hair in his face, he leans against the counter and eyes you up with a malicious grin. You really wish he weren’t so damn good-looking because it’s very hard to keep up your little show when all you are really thinking about is jumping on top of him.

“That was a nice little performance you gave last night, by the way. I had assumed you were the type to just lie there and have someone else do all the work, but good to know my brother is at least getting something out of it.”

You straighten up in your seat. “You’re welcome. I figured the least I could do is give you some material to work with.”

Five nods with a smirk, not taking the bait. He uncrosses his arms and grabs onto the edge of the countertop behind him, leaning back casually. You are immediately drawn to his sculpted chest and abs and your eyes drift over the many faded scars scattered over his body.

“I could say the same to you, love,” he says.

He throws you off your game with that statement. You’re mostly sure he’s just trying to be an asshole and get under your skin, but what if he does know? What if you yelled something out while you were imagining him fucking you so hard your teeth rattled in your head? When you were calling him Daddy and riding him like he was Sea Biscuit? You feel caught and your face must betray you because suddenly he’s not looking so smug anymore.

You are both staring at one another, not saying a word, but the passive-aggressive tension in the air has changed to something else. The look between you seems to last forever, and you can feel the warmth spreading up your neck and onto your face. And maybe a little between your legs, as well. Just then, the coffee that Five had been making is done and the machine beeps loudly, startling you both.

He looks away first and pulls down a mug from the cabinet. You are surprised to see him grab a second one. He fills them both and then sets one down on the table, sliding it over to you with a push so that it sloshes over the side.

“Thanks,” you mumble, as you pick it up.

“Sure,” he responds grudgingly, and you can tell it’s killing him to be even moderately polite right now.

After a minute or so of neither of you talking, it is starting to get awkward. Someone needs to say something or leave. Instead, you just sip your hot coffee and pretend the tabletop is incredibly interesting. You decide to chance it and you clear your throat, but you don’t look up.

“Look, I’m sorry, ok?” you say quietly.

It takes a few seconds, but he finally responds. “Yeah, I’m sorry, too.”

You nod and glance up, meeting his eyes as he watches you with that all-encompassing intensity of his. His stare bores right through you and once again you feel frozen in time and for a minute you think he’s somehow doing that, but in reality, it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. He just has that hold over you somehow and you pray that he can’t see it. You watch as he looks away, closes his eyes, and pushes his hair back with one hand, giving you a good look at the tight muscles in his arms. Fuck. You cross your legs and take a sip of your coffee to try and hide the fact that you are on the verge of passing out right now.

At that exact moment, the weird energy in the room is broken by Klaus’s appearance. He floats in, wearing some sort of ugly satin robe that barely covers anything, but somehow he manages to pull off the look. He stops in the doorway and looks from you to Five and back again. Then he claps his hands and smiles.

“Yay! So, you guys are buddies again? Is that what I’m seeing here?”

Five rolls his eyes and sighs. You shrug your shoulders. “I guess so. Tolerating each other again, anyway,” you tell him.

Five gives a tight-lipped smile and holds his coffee mug up towards you in a toasting gesture and you do the same with yours. Neither of you say anything else on the subject.

“Well, let me tell you, that is a relief,” Klaus exhales. “I was not really looking forward to having to put the hammer down on you, Fivey.”

Five raises his eyebrows at Klaus. “Is that right? And how exactly were you planning on doing that?”

“By giving you a very stern warning, of course,” Klaus says with a smile, shaking his finger at Five. Then he walks over to get his own coffee. He looks Five up and down and then gives his arm a squeeze. “Damn, Cinco, you been working out or what? Looking pretty fine there, I must say.”

Five frowns and swats his hand away. “You’re so weird.”

You giggle into your mug and Five looks at you with a crooked smile. Then he snatches the full coffee pot out of Klaus’s hand. “As much as I’d love to spend the rest of my day in the company of you two intellectuals, I must take my leave. See you later.”

Klaus lets out a cry of protest as Five disappears in a flash, taking the coffee with him, and leaving his brother with an empty mug.

You try to hide your laughter as Klaus looks at you in disbelief.

“Well, that was rude,” he says in a huff.

With a shrug, you get up and pour some of your coffee into his cup. “Yeah, but I’ve come to realize that rude is Five’s love language.”

Klaus pouts. “He must love us a lot, then.”

With a smile, you think to yourself how much that statement is probably true. If Five doesn’t care about you, he’s not going to waste his time and energy to speak to you, even if it is in the form of an insult. It makes you feel good inside to know that he probably really does like you, at least a little bit. If not, he just wouldn’t bother with you at all; he’d avoid you like the plague. And you like knowing that. You like it a lot, actually.

Once again, you find your mind drifting off. And once again, it’s filled with images and scenarios starring one very sexy, teleporting ex-assassin.

Chapter Four: Love In The Time Of Cholera

“Jesus, what’s the matter with you?”

Five walks into the apartment to find you huddled on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and shivering.

“Nothing. It’s just a cold I think,” you answer between chattering teeth.

Five strides over to the couch and leans in to peer down at you, squinting slightly. He stands up straight and crosses his arms over his chest, flicking the hair out of his eyes with a superior shake of his head.

“I don’t think that’s just a cold. You look like shit.”

“Gosh, thanks, Five. Charming, as always,” you snap back. Or at least, it would have been a snap had you not just started coughing violently, your entire body shaking with the effort.

Five’s eyebrows furrow together. “Have you taken your temperature?”

You shrug. “No.”

With a heavy sigh, Five leaves the room, returning a minute later with a thermometer in hand. He presses the button and when it beeps, he holds it out for you. You eye it and him suspiciously.

Five jabs it towards you again when you don’t reach for it. “Take it.”

“How do I know you or Klaus haven’t used that to take your temperature in other ways besides orally?”

Five rolls his eyes. “I keep this in my room, away from Klaus for just that reason, and I can assure you it has never been used in my or anyone else’s ass.”

After another sigh from Five and another dubious look at the thermometer, you relent and take it from him. You place it under your tongue and you both wait in silence for what seems to take forever before you hear the beep again. Before you can take it out, Five reaches down and removes it from your mouth for you, frowning at the digital display.

“104.3. You’re burning up.”

You shiver again, wrapping the blanket around you tighter. “Great.”

Five is quiet for a moment, and then he glances around the room. “Where’s Klaus?”

You shrug again, and it reminds you how much your muscles are aching. “I don’t know. I came here right from work since it was closer than my place and I was feeling pretty crappy. I texted him to let him know I’d be here, but so far I haven’t seen him. He didn’t answer my text, either.”

You figure Five is probably more than annoyed with having you here without Klaus, and spreading your germs around his apartment in the process. With a guilty look, you start to stand up.

“Sorry, I’ll go. I’ve rested a bit, so I should be ok to walk home.”

As you stand, you are overwhelmed by a bout of dizziness and you sway on your feet, your vision blurring. Five reaches out to catch you around your waist and you let him take most of your weight. When your vision returns and you can stand, you look up at him to find he actually looks concerned rather than his usual expression of deep irritation. His facial features are softer and his hair is in his face again. His eyes scan over your face, lingering on your lips before meeting your eyes. Your legs are bearing your full weight now, but he still has his arms around you.

You clear your throat. “Or…I can get a cab.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he says, although it’s missing the usual snark he reserves for you. “You obviously are too sick to go anywhere.”

Five lets you go and you both stand there awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.

“So…you want me to stay here?” you ask weakly.

“Well, I wouldn’t say I want you to stay here, but I’m also not sending you off on your own while you’re half dead.” He manages a small smile that appears genuine. “You need someone to look after you.”

You try to hide your shock but your eyebrows raise. “And you’re going to look after me?”

He looks away briefly before sighing dramatically again. “Until Klaus comes back. Then you’re his problem.”

A slight smile twitches at the corner of your mouth. You can’t believe Mr. Crab Ass is being this soft. Soft for him, anyway. And you can’t believe he’s willing to take care of you. You’re trying to picture him as a caregiver, though, and it’s like your brain isn’t computing.

“Ok,” you say softly. “Thank you.”

“Come on,” he says, holding out his hand. “I need to get you into bed.”

Despite the pounding headache in your skull, you start giggling as Five realizes what he said, and his face flushes.

“That’s not…you know what I mean,” he stammers. “You can lie down in Klaus’s bed.”

You nod, still smiling and take his hand. It’s warm and dry against your clammy one, but he doesn’t seem to care. Even though your head feels like it’s filled with mashed potatoes, you still feel a little zing through your body at the sensation of his touch. You know he’s strong and he can kill a man with these same hands if he needed to, but he holds yours gently.

He gets you situated in Klaus’s bed, with an extra blanket thrown over the comforter to keep you warm against your chills. He brings you medicine to bring down the fever, and a glass of water to keep next to the bed. He places a cold compress on your forehead and dims the lights so you can rest, slipping quietly out of the room after he makes sure you’re comfortable.

As he leaves, you notice he hesitates near the door and takes a look back at you before he goes. You’re not quite sure how to interpret the look, mostly because you’ve never seen him like that before. He looks…sad? Concerned? You’re not sure, but whatever the meaning behind it has your heart racing just a little faster.

Even with Five’s continued care, your fever remains and you somehow manage to feel even shittier as the day goes on. Your entire body aches, right down to your bones, and you’re so exhausted you can hardly keep your eyes open. You’re sweaty and shivering and every time you cough it feels like fire in your lungs. You might even be hallucinating, because each time you wake up and open your eyes, Five is there. He usually has some amused look on his face, like you just said something interesting or funny, but you’re pretty sure you’ve only been sleeping.

At one point you wake and he’s not in the chair across from the bed like he has been, but you can hear him out in the hall. He’s talking to someone and he does not sound happy. He sounds like you’re used to him sounding. All frustration and rage.

“What do you mean you’re not coming home?” he spits out. There’s a pause. “And like I told you , she’s sick.” Pause. “No, dickhead, like really sick! You need to get your ass back here and act like a fucking adult—” Pause. “Because she’s your girlfriend!” he yells, and you can practically hear his jaw clenching from the other room.

There’s another long pause and you can hear him pacing back and forth. He laughs sarcastically at whatever has been said to him on the other end.

“Yeah, great idea…you stay there and enjoy yourself. I’ll take care of her. Just like I take care of everything else around here.”

He must have hung up because you hear him muttering angrily to himself. “Fucking, self-absorbed asshole! I’m not sure why I expected anything different. Fuck!”

After a minute or two, Five comes back into the room. He’s obviously still upset but is trying to cover it up. Seeing that you’re awake, he comes to stand next to the bed, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“So, I got ahold of Klaus finally,” he tells you.

“Yeah, I figured that part out.” You smile weakly up at him. “And it also sounds like he’s not coming home?”

Five rubs the back of his neck. “It appears not. Not for a couple of days, anyway. Seems like he went with a random group of people he met at a club last night and he somehow ended up in Toronto, the fucking jackass. Without a valid passport! Only Klaus would somehow figure out how to cross international borders on charm alone. Either that, or he blew the border guard.” His voice softens and he looks down at you. “I’m sorry he’s not here.”

“That’s ok. I think I’d rather have you here taking care of me, anyway. Klaus is usually much more interested in taking care of Klaus.”

Five gives a short laugh and shakes his head. “What the hell do you two have in common, anyway?”

“Well…” you smile knowingly, even though just that motion of moving your cheek muscles hurts.

“Ok, no, please don’t finish that sentence. I’m sorry I asked.”

Throughout the next day and night, Five continues to care for you. You’re not really sure why he’s so invested in making sure you’re ok, but you never question him. Instead, you let him fix your covers, and take your temperature, and bring you cold drinks. He makes you soup and watches to make sure you eat all of it. It’s absolutely hilarious to see him like a mother hen, fussing over you and scolding you when you don’t take his directions.

Even though you’re not well enough to leave yet, you are starting to feel a little better. Enough that you’re able to get up and take a hot shower. While you’re in there, Five takes the opportunity to change the sheets on the bed and he helps you back in when you’re clean and feeling more like a human again. Once you are all set up in bed again, you are able to sit up and stay awake, which is more than you’ve been able to do over the past 24 hours. Five stands there at the side of the bed awkwardly.

“I’m really sorry for all of this,” you tell him. “Thank you for taking care of me, though. I had no idea you made such a good nurse.”

Five scoffs, but there’s a small smile there. “Yeah, well…you shouldn’t be. I’m good at everything, remember? Also, I’m not that heartless.”

“I never thought you were heartless. Maybe a little bitchy, but never heartless,” you say with a smile.

“Well, you’re about the only one, so thanks I guess. Although, I’m not sure being described as bitchy is any better.”

You start to laugh, but it turns into a racking cough, and Five looks at you with concern.

“All right, enough talking. You should really go back to sleep.”

You shake your head as you wipe at your watery eyes. “I’m sick of sleeping. Entertain me.”

“Entertain you? Jesus, here I am busting my ass to make you better and now I have to entertain you, too?”

He’s trying to sound aggravated, but he’s not quite pulling it off.

“But I’m borrreddd,” you whine dramatically.

“Christ, fine, I will find something to entertain you, as long as you stop fucking whining like that.”

You smile with satisfaction since you got your way and Five tries his best to look unamused.

“I have lots of books; do you want to read?”

You nod. “What do you have?”

“Fuck, I don’t know, I’m not going to list off an entire library of titles for you. What do you like to read?”

After thinking for a minute, you answer, “I doubt you have any, but I like classic romances.”

Five smiles slowly. “Well, then you’re in luck because I happen to also like classic romances.”

You almost start coughing again with surprise. “What? You? Number Five ‘Hard-Ass’ Hargreeves loves romance novels?”

“I am a very romantic person, I can’t believe you’ve never noticed,” he says with a hand on his chest.

“Oh my god, well now I’ve heard everything. Alright, then, Mr. Romance; what do you have for me to read?”

He leaves for a few minutes, returning with a paperback novel in his hand. He holds it up for you to see the cover.

“Love In The Time of Cholera?” you read.

“It’s fitting, don’t you think?” he answers with a smirk.

“I don’t think I have cholera.”

“Well, maybe not but you have something just as disgusting. The plague, maybe. But this was the only book I have that includes both a deadly disease and romance.”

“I haven’t read that one, but wasn’t it written in the 1980s or something? Is that considered a classic already?”

“Look, do you want to read the fucking book or not?”

You nod with a smile. “Yes, please.”

Five steps closer to the bed and holds out the book for you to take it, but you don’t move. Instead, you look up at him with the saddest expression you can manage and poke out your bottom lip.

“I don’t know if my eyes will be able to read such small print in my weakened state. Will you read it to me?” You bat your eyelashes dramatically.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Five sighs. “Read to you? Are you a child?”

“Please? Come on, what else are you doing? Nothing.”

After another huff and a sigh that isn’t very convincing, Five throws his hands up. “Fine! I’ll read you the stupid book. But you better sit there and be quiet and not interrupt.”

You nod obediently and then pat the empty side of the bed next to you. You were halfway kidding, but after a look at the bed and then back to the chair and then back to the bed again, Five walks around to the other side and climbs in, propping himself up beside you. If his heart is pounding just a little faster from the proximity like yours is, he hides it well.

“Will you do different voices for the characters?” you giggle.

“Shut up. Also, you have a booger hanging out of your nose and it’s making me sick. Get a tissue,” he grumbles.

After blowing your nose and using the hand sanitizer that Five holds out to you, you settle into the covers. But not before you take your index finger and poke him right in his cheek dimple. “I’m ready now.”

He bats your hand away with a scowl as you snort from trying to hold in a laugh with your stuffed-up nose.

“You are such an idiot,” he tells you with a shake of his head, trying to hide a smile.

Five turns to the book and starts reading while you lie next to him. Pretty soon the sound of his voice has you closing your eyes and you sink deeper into the covers. When you hear him stop, you open your eyes and peer up at him.

“Why did you stop?” you ask blearily.

“You were sleeping.”

You close your eyes again and sigh. “Keep reading, even if I fall asleep. I like listening to your voice. It’s nice.”

Even though you can’t see him, you think you hear a breathy little laugh. “Ok,” he says softly, before continuing on with the story.

You doze off again, and when you wake up the sun is lower in the sky and the room is dim. Your eyes adjust to the darkness and you see Five is still there. The book is closed and lying to the side and he is asleep on his back next to you. Then you see that your arm is flung over his stomach and you freeze. He’s still sleeping soundly, so you slowly take your hand back, but not before making sure you get a good feel of his hard abs under your palm. You look at his face and see that it’s softer, his forehead uncreased, with his dark lashes fanned over the tops of his cheeks. His lips are parted just slightly while he breathes deeply and for a very brief moment, you think about running your fingers over them to see if they’re as soft as they look. Instead, you clear your throat and he stirs.

When Five looks over at you, you smile shyly at him. “I think we both fell asleep.”

He runs a hand down his face and looks around him. “Yeah, I guess we did.” He turns back to you. “How are you feeling?”

You nod. “Better, actually, thank you. And thank you for reading to me. I missed some of it, but I liked what I heard of it so far. And I get the gist that this guy in the book is going to start whoring his way around the world because of his unrequited love?”

Five laughs. “Pretty much, yes.”

“Guys are disgusting no matter what time period they live in, I guess.”

Five raises one eyebrow at you. “You do realize whose bed you are currently sleeping in, right? Probably the most disgusting one of them all.”

You frown. “Klaus isn’t that disgusting. He’s just…free.”

Five gives a snort of derision. “Is that what you call fucking your way through several different timelines, including, but not limited to, an entire congregation of his own cult members?”

You feel your face turning red from embarrassment at being one of the many in Klaus’s little trail of conquests, but you already knew that and hadn’t cared before. So, why is it bothering you now? Why do you care what Five thinks? Instead, you change the subject.

“So, you asked me what I have in common with Klaus, but what about you? Why do you live together if he seems to be a constant source of irritation for you?”

Five is quiet for a minute and he sits up in the bed and for a second you think he’s going to leave. But he just leans against the headboard and looks back down at you with a sad smile.

“You’re right, he drives me fucking crazy and I would most definitely prefer to live on my own.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because Klaus is a hazard to himself.”

“What do you mean?”

“Even when we were kids, he was constantly getting into trouble. Whether he was getting bullied by some dickheads on the subway or being used by my father in some horrible way, he was always getting hurt. Both physically and mentally. He’s just too damn trusting. When I was there, I would stand up for him. If I saw him getting pushed around or harassed in some way, then you could bet that whoever was responsible was getting their ass kicked. At home, there wasn’t much I could do about that, but he would come to my room when he was scared or upset and I’d let him hang out as long as he wanted, just to let him talk and calm down. When I left, among a million other things that haunted me during those years, I felt terrible that I had left Klaus unprotected.”

You stare up him, and you can see the hurt on his face as he’s remembering all of this.

“After I came back, I couldn’t believe how far he’d fallen. I know you can’t blame yourself for someone else’s choices, but I kept thinking maybe he would have been ok if I hadn’t jumped. Then, almost right off the bat, he gets kidnapped and tortured by people that were looking for me and then accidentally fucks off to Vietnam to earn himself some more trauma and heartache. Instead of protecting him, I was causing him more pain and suffering and I’d hardly been back in his life for more than a couple of days. So, after a few more screw-ups and a grand old time in the 1960s, here we are again. I know what he’s been through and it’s a lot.”

“So, you decided to live with him to watch out for him? To try and protect him again?”

Five nods. “I know Klaus isn’t stupid. And he’s a survivalist, just like me, so I’m not saying he can’t get along without me. I just feel that I owe him something, at least. And the only thing I can really offer him these days is to try and look out for him. Maybe stop him from making mistakes that will end up causing him more harm in the end. Like taking too many drugs, sleeping with dangerous people, or getting stranded in Canada with strangers. So, as you can see, I’m doing a real bang-up job.”

You smile up at him. “I don’t think that’s your fault.”

Five frowns. “Well, anyway, there you have it. He drives me fucking crazy and makes me want to put his head through a wall most days, but if I’m here then at least I can keep an eye on him.”

“So, am I one of these dangerous people you want to keep him from sleeping with?” you ask just to be a smart-ass and maybe a little flirty.

He gives you a look you don’t know how to interpret. “You are most definitely dangerous, but not in the way you might think.”

You’re not sure how to answer that as you feel your cheeks blush. “You’re a good big brother.”

“Not really.”

You rest your hand on top of Five’s, giving it a light squeeze and he looks down at it. “No, I mean it, Five. You’re a really good brother to him.” And you do mean it.

He swallows hard and looks you in the eyes, holding your gaze for a long time. He gently strokes his thumb against the side of your hand, and it’s the most contact you’ve ever gotten from him. It’s only an instant before he’s taking his back again.

He shakes his head and his voice is almost a whisper when he speaks. “You don’t understand. I’m really not.”

After another awkward moment, he clears his throat and moves off the bed. He pauses in the doorway and turns back to you.

“I’ll bring you something to eat, ok?”

You nod. “Thank you.”

Then he’s gone and you’re left lying there wondering what the hell just happened between you two.

************************************

I thought I had finally gotten my shit together. After that little setback when she caught me beating my meat in the shower and I turned into a giant asshole, we had been back on friendly terms. And I had told myself to stop being a delusional creep and fantasizing about things that weren’t ever going to happen. So far, I have been doing pretty well. Then she got sick.

Normally, the only reason I would care whether or not someone was sick would be so that I could stay away from them. I have dealt with more than my fair share of horrible illnesses and injuries in my life and managed to come out of them mostly unscathed and with no one else’s help. So it’s hard for me to feel too much sympathy for folks with access to advanced medical care and simple things like aspirin or Neosporin. I lost track of how many times I would have killed just for some Imodium and a bottle of Gatorade after eating some not-so-great canned food.

As soon as I saw her all miserable and shivering from a fever like that, though, my heart couldn’t stand it. All I wanted to do was make her feel better and I didn’t care if I was exposed to her germs or not. I would have taken all of them if it meant she’d feel well again. That’s how much she’s gotten to me.

My first instinct was to bring her into my bed, but I quickly changed my mind. I didn’t want it to seem like I was hinting at anything or being a weirdo, so I opted for the better choice of Klaus’s bed. Even though the thought of her being in there, no matter the purpose, leaves me with a gnawing feeling in my stomach. But that’s ok, the only thing that mattered was that she was cared for.

Those first 24 hours were interesting, to say the least. I’m still not quite sure what to think about it. She was feverish and exhausted, and she started hallucinating and talking in her sleep. At first, I didn’t think much of it. It’s not abnormal for people with high fevers to experience these things. But when I didn’t leave her side except to get her more medicine or anything else she needed, she must have realized I was there even if she wasn’t totally in her right mind. She started talking to me, but it didn’t make sense. At least, I told myself it didn’t make sense. Because I don’t want to acknowledge the very unrealistic notion that it may have been her true feelings.

“It’s you,” she had said weakly, her eyes barely open as I sat in the chair across from her.

“Yeah, it’s me. Did you need something?”

She shook her head very slowly and her eyes closed again. “No…I mean…it’s you, Five. It’s always you.”

I didn’t how to take that or how to respond, so I didn’t say anything and she drifted back into a sound sleep.

It had turned dark outside and I hadn’t bothered to turn on a light in the room, but I was still sitting there and I had almost fallen asleep myself. Then I heard her speak again.

“Five?”

I got up and went to her side, and even in the dark, I could tell that she wasn’t completely awake or lucid. She had a sheen of sweat on her forehead from the fever and I placed my hand on her head, hoping the coolness of my skin would feel good. She sighed and smiled.

“You’re hot,” I told her, obviously meaning the temperature of her forehead.

She had laughed dreamily, her eyes still closed. “So are you.”

I took my hand away and smiled down at her, deciding to go ahead and tease her even though I knew she wasn’t with it. “Oh yeah? I think you’re just saying that so I’ll continue waiting on you hand and foot.”

“Nooo…like soooo hot. Can you not be so hot all the time? It’s not fair. With no shirt…"

It was like talking to a drunk person, which I have lots of experience in, from both points of view, and I laughed again. “Ok. Go back to sleep.”

She had turned over on her side and curled up, facing away from me, but she was still mumbling out loud.

“Ok…I’ll do whatever you say, Daddy,” she giggled.

After that, she was back into a deep sleep and I just stood there, frozen in place and trying not to read too much into that. The logical explanation was that she was dreaming about her father in a completely innocent way. However, the other, less plausible one would be that she meant it in a totally different and very naughty way. A way that if I thought about it too much was going to cause me some major problems in the crotch department of my pants. And she had said I was hot, too. Which again, I chocked up to her fever, but still. I didn’t mind hearing it.

The third such incident had happened in the middle of the night. I was asleep and had been for some time. She seemed to be resting peacefully, but I still didn’t want to leave the room just in case she needed something if she woke up. I was still in the chair when I was awoken by her nonsensical ramblings again.

“Why don’t you?”

I rubbed my eyes and got up, standing next to her to make sure she was ok and was going to fall back asleep again. In the dark, she must have sensed me, because she reached out and took my hand and pulled me towards her. She hardly had any strength, so I didn’t have to move, but I did anyway and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Why don’t you?” she asked again, her voice thick with sleep and her hand still latched onto mine.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t like me,” she answered softly.

I didn’t really know if she was talking to me or not inside of her head, but I decided to answer her. “I do like you.”

“Good,” she murmured, and then she was quiet again. I was about to get up and go back to my chair when she started talking again. “I like it when you call me that, you know.”

I frowned. I had no idea what she was talking about. “Call you what?”

“Sweetheart,” she whispered and in the dark I could make out a smile on her face.

My heart just about jumped out of my chest. But then again, maybe she hadn’t even meant that for me. Maybe she was talking about Klaus, or someone else. Maybe it was all a weird dream and it didn’t mean anything rational at all.

I couldn’t resist, though. I took my hand from hers and touched the side of her face, running my thumb over her warm cheek. “Ok, sweetheart,” I said softly and my voice cracked. It was the first time I had said that without being a sarcastic jerk.

She smiled again and then burrowed deeper into the covers with a sigh. “Five…”

I wanted to die right there on the spot. I hated that I was letting myself create this little fantasy world for the two of us. All of these things she was saying meant nothing. She was delusional and not in her normal mindset. These things were most likely complete gibberish and had no bearing on anything. She was probably saying my name because I was right there and she had heard my voice. Or, more likely, she was telling me off in some dream she was having where I was being my usual pleasant self.

But that tiny little possibility for any of that to be true…that was all I could think about. And damn, it was driving me crazy.

When she had fallen asleep while I was reading to her, I kept going for a while because she had said she liked hearing my voice. But when I was sure she was deep enough asleep that she wouldn’t notice, I stopped. I should have left then, but I didn’t. Instead, I watched her sleeping for a while; noticing the rise and fall of her chest and the way her lips were slightly parted as she breathed in a steady rhythm. I wanted to pull her next to me and hold her. I wanted to stroke her hair and kiss her forehead. I didn’t do those things, but I did stay where I was. I laid there next to her, comfortable and warm and I didn’t want that moment to end. I loved it.

Now it’s two days later and my stupid ass brother still hasn’t shown up. Not that I’m really complaining, but I’m sure she wishes he were here. I meant it when I said I know I’m not a good brother to him. I’ve let him down many times in the past and now I’m lusting after his “non-girlfriend.” Pretty shitty if you ask me. Still, he should be here. Leave it to Klaus to up and abandon her when she needs him the most. Although, she had said she was happy I was here for her.

She is feeling better, at least, and is up and around more. We have developed a kind of routine and have fallen into a comfortable companionship. I know she likes chicken and rice soup and not chicken and noodle. She prefers Sprite over ginger ale and her favorite tea is chamomile. She loves the movie Grease and hates any and all sports movies. And of course, she loves classic romance novels.

I’ve continued reading the book to her, even though she’s well enough to continue reading it herself. She said she likes listening to me and I like doing anything that makes her happy. She still can’t get over the fact that the main character in the book ends up banging 622 women during his decades-long fuck-a-thon.

We are nearing the end of the book today and I’m sitting on the couch with my feet on the coffee table (I know…hypocrisy at its finest). She is sitting next to me when she scoots over and lays her head on my shoulder.

“What’s this?” I ask, trying to act annoyed, when of course I couldn’t be happier.

“I want to see the pages while you read. Make sure you’re not skipping anything to get to the end faster.”

I roll my eyes. “I promise I am not skipping anything. What do you take me for?”

“A cynical bastard?”

She looks up at me with a grin and I do my best to look irritated. “Do you want to finish this damn book or not?”

“Yes, darling.”

It’s heavy with sarcasm, obviously, but I still get a little rush when I hear her say it. I want so badly to lean my cheek against her head, feeling the softness of her hair against my skin. Instead, I sigh heavily and open the book.

“Hey, wait, so we’re almost to the end now and Florentino has been whoring around for a long time. I forget, how long has it been exactly?”

“51 years, 9 months, and 4 days.”

“Damn,” she says with a chuckle. “That’s a really fucking long time to wait around. Even if you are banging a bunch of people along the way. I mean think about it. That’s like…5 decades just…putting your life on pause. Can you imagine? God, I’d go insane.”

I’m suddenly very uncomfortable since that statement hit a little too close to home. I shift in my seat and the movement makes her lift her head and look up at me. I don’t meet her eyes, though.

“Oh, shit,” she gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. “I am so sorry, Five. I didn’t mean—"

“It’s fine.”

“No. No, I just forgot and that was a really insensitive thing for me to say, and…god dammit, I always do stupid shit like this. I’m always just blurting things out without thinking about what I’m saying.”

“Really. It’s ok,” I assure her.

She lets out a frustrated exhale and she’s starting to mess with her fingernails like she always does when she gets nervous. 

“Hey,” I say, putting my hand on her leg. “You don’t have to feel bad. I’m not offended. And it’s true, you would go insane. I can vouch for that.”

She looks down at my hand on her leg and I quickly take it back. When she looks at me, her eyebrows are drawn together in concern.

“Can I ask you something, then?”

“Sure.”

“So, I know all about your ‘accident’ or whatever you want to call it. Klaus told me everything and it’s just so awful, Five. The fact that you are here and functioning and not locked up in a looney bin somewhere is nothing short of amazing.”

I let out a short laugh. “Thanks, I guess? Although some days I feel like I should be locked up. But that usually just has to do with having to deal with my moronic family.”

She doesn’t laugh at my joke to deflect, and instead, she continues looking at my face with not exactly pity, but something close to it. It makes me uneasy.

“Ok, well, anyway, there’s something I’ve wanted to know. Have you…have you ever been in a relationship with anyone? Like romantically?”

Well, if I felt uneasy before it’s nothing to how I’m feeling now. I would like to sink down in between these couch cushions and smother myself to death. How am I supposed to answer that without sounding like a fucking lunatic? Then again, if anyone would understand, it’s probably her.

I clear my throat and rub the back of my neck. “That’s kind of a loaded question.”

“Is it?”

"Well, the short answer is yes. I was in a serious relationship for a very long time. Decades, in fact. But that ended a few years back.”

“Oh…I thought you were alone that whole time. So you had a partner?”

“Yes, you could say that. Dolores was more than my partner, though. She was all of the things I needed when I wanted to give up. She was my rationality, my calm in a storm, my teacher and my friend. She taught me love, patience, and perseverance above all odds. She was my entire world and the main reason I’m still standing here today. She was my everything and the love of my life.” I pause and I look her directly in the eyes. “And she was made up entirely of my imagination and a department store mannequin. But she was very real to me.”

She blinks a few times and I can tell she is trying to process all of that. And I can’t blame her. What is the appropriate response to that? If you’re a dick, you laugh. If you’re some sappy, bleeding heart with no control over your emotions, you cry. But if you are a normal, sympathetic person with actual brains, then it gets complicated.

“Five, I…I don’t know what to say. That’s…”

“Sad? Disturbing? The most fucked up thing you’ve ever heard?”

“Beautiful.”

I look at her in disbelief. “What?”

“If she was all of those things to you, then that means you are all of those things. You are the reason you persevered and survived all those years. Because you made sure of it in the only way you knew how. And Dolores was the vessel that helped you compartmentalize everything, letting you deal with the horrors of your reality while still maintaining all of the good parts that are inside of you. It’s brilliant, actually. And hopelessly romantic.”

“No one has ever interpreted it in that way before. Although to be honest, I haven’t really told many people. In fact, come to think of it, outside of my siblings, you are the only one I’ve told.”

“Wow, really? Thank you.”

She sounds sincere and I know she is not judging me. I am very protective of Dolores and if she had said something flippant or thoughtless, I would have defended my lady love. But she didn’t. She understands. Which just makes me want her more.

“You’re welcome.”

“Ok, so other than Dolores, have there been other women in your life?”

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Yes, there have been. Not many, but a few. And none of them were relationships to speak of.”

She smiles. “Ah, I see. A slew of one-night stands to make up for lost time?”

I chuckle and shake my head. “More like a select few professional dancers.”

She makes a cringey face. “Yikes. I guess that can be fun in its own way, though. Bringing home some hot strippers maybe isn’t a bad way to spend a Friday night.”

“Oh, no, I never brought them home. Or even left the club, actually.” Her raised eyebrows have me laughing. “It is in my personal experience that the adage of ‘there’s no sex in the champagne room’ is not entirely true.”

She draws in a dramatic gasp with a big grin on her face. Then she slaps me on the arm. “Five Hargreeves, you are a giant slut! I can’t believe you give Klaus shit all the time when you’re going around banging strippers in the back of the clubs. What did they do, lure you back there with lap dances? How much does it cost to bone a stripper these days?”

“I never said I paid for it,” I say with a smirk.

“Whoa whoa whoa…hold on. Let me see if I’m understanding this correctly. You go to a strip club, probably buy a couple of drinks, maybe get a couple of dances, and they just magically take you into the champagne room and let you rail them?”

I shrug and drape my arms across the back of the couch. “That’s pretty close, yeah.”

Her mouth is hanging open and I know I’m acting like an arrogant prick, but I don’t care. Her reaction is too funny. It’s also all true.

“Holy shit.” She shakes her head with a smile. “Well, I hope you know that is not the normal experience for most guys. And the fact that it sounds like this has happened more than once leads me to believe you must be doing something extremely right in that room because girls like to talk.”

“Is that right?” I say with one eyebrow raised.

She nods. “I’m not entirely surprised. After I was able to get a quick preview of what you’re working with down there, I have no doubt you left these ladies with some major organ damage and a big smile on their faces.”

Now my mouth is hanging open in shock, but before I can stammer out some words, she starts laughing. It’s immediately contagious and I join her, and I haven’t laughed that hard in a very long time. It feels good and it almost erases the crushing feeling inside when I think about how I never want this time with her to end. Almost.

Chapter Five: Bizarre Love Triangle

The next day you are back to feeling normal again, and you should be going. You’ve missed a few days of work and you really need to get back there. But you don’t; you stay. You like the little infirmary Five has created for you. You feel safe and cared for, and if you leave that feeling will be gone.

Klaus decides to return sometime during the afternoon. He breezes in, smelling of cigarettes and unwashed clothes, with a smile on his face and seemingly not a care in the world. You are annoyed, sure, but you secretly don’t even care that he’s been gone. And it’s just so hard to stay mad at him because it’s Klaus. He is who he is and it’s no surprise, really.

Five, however, finds nothing amusing about it. You stand there and watch as he loses his ever-loving shit.

Barely two minutes after Klaus is in the door, Five is appearing in front of him in an angry swirl of light, already leaning in with bared teeth and clenched fists.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he growls in Klaus’s face.

Klaus, always immune to his brother’s rage, raises a hand to his head and closes his eyes. “Shhh…Fivey…please, can you keep the screaming to a dull roar? My skull feels like it’s breaking in two.”

“It is going to be breaking in two when I’m through with you. What the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t you have any decency? She has been on death’s door for the past two days and you don’t bother to come home or even call to check in?”

Five is gesturing to you while you stand off to the side, not sure whether you should be jumping in or not. You don’t really appreciate being talked about like you aren’t there, but you’ve never seen Five this worked up before and it’s intimidating, to say the least.

Klaus sighs dramatically and looks over to you. “I’m sorry. You’re ok now, though, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I am…”

“See? She’s ok, so no harm done,” he tells Five.

“Yeah, she is ok, thanks to me. That’s not even the point, though! You need to stop thinking about only yourself all the time. Grow the fuck up and act like an adult.” Five is still yelling loudly and Klaus is flinching with each word thrown in his face. “God, you’re so fucking useless sometimes!”

“Hey!” you interject. “Five, stop. I know you’re mad but you don’t have to be mean.”

He whips his head in your direction and the ire is still there. “Mean? I’m being mean? You do realize he just up and abandoned you, right?”

You stand up straight and raise your chin. “I think abandoned is a strong word. And I’m an adult, too, you know. I appreciate everything you did for me, but I think I could have survived without either of you.”

Five is silent, but his eyes don’t leave yours. He’s still angry, but there’s something else there. Hurt.

“Fine,” he concedes and his shoulders slump a little. “Forget I even said anything. You two dumbasses really do deserve each other.”

After that, he’s gone. Disappeared again before your eyes and you know he’s not in the apartment anymore. You doubt you’ll see him back here again anytime soon. You fucked things up again, and you don’t know how to fix it this time. You look at Klaus.

“Why didn’t you come back? It would have been the decent thing to do. I thought you cared a little more about me than that.”

Klaus massages his temples with his hands and lets out a loud exhale. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be gone that long, and it was a little tricky to get back into the country without documentation. Especially when the guards on duty that day are all alpha males with no sense of humor.” He looks at you with concern. “I really am sorry.”

“Thank you.”

“You seem back to normal, now, so that’s good. I’m glad at least Five was here.”

You nod. “Me too.” You look towards the door, even though that’s not the way he left. “I don’t think he’s going to want to have anything to do with me again, though.”

Klaus is already on his way to the bathroom and he waves a hand in the air dismissively. “Nah, don’t worry about him. He’ll get over it. He always does. Come on, want to join me in the shower?”

“No, thanks,” you answer with a pinched smile. You may not be that angry with Klaus, but you are pretty annoyed. And certainly not in the mood for anything more than chit-chat right now.

It’s later that night, and why the hell you’re still here you have no idea. You should have left hours ago. You just can’t help but want to see Five again and to maybe try and smooth things over. And you’re worried about him, too. Obviously, he can take care of himself, but that doesn’t mean he won’t do something stupid just because he’s pissed off and not thinking clearly. So, while Klaus is in his room sleeping off his three-day bender, you lie down on the couch. You can’t sleep though so you’re staring up at the ceiling in the dark when you hear a familiar whooshing noise and brief flash of blue light coming from the kitchen. You get up and enter the kitchen quietly.

Five stops short when he sees you, his eyes wide for half a second before he corrects himself and he adopts his signature glare. You watch him as he walks to the sink, grabs a glass out of the cabinet, and fills it with water from the tap. You notice how he swayed a little when he walked and the way his eyes were momentarily unfocused. He turns his back to you as he takes a long drink of water.

“What are you still doing here?” he asks after he swallows.

“Are you drunk?” you ask, ignoring his question.

He gives a short and haughty noise, half snort, half laugh, and he swallows down another gulp of water.

“Hardly,” he answers, still turned away from you. He is deliberately not looking at you, probably waiting for you to give up and leave first.

“Yes, you are,” you insist.

Five turns, spinning abruptly around and facing you head-on. He slams the empty water glass on the counter behind him.

“And what if I was? What the fuck does it matter to you?” he barks, his face hard and angry.

You aren’t going to let him win this one. You aren’t going to let him chase you out of there.

“Where were you anyway?”

He puts his hands in his pockets and leans back against the counter. His hair is disheveled and hanging in his eyes again. His shirt, although slightly wrinkled, is unbuttoned just far enough that you can make out the hard line of his collarbone and the outline of his pecs. He is all tense joints and sinew, skin tight and smooth over rippling muscles; everything coiled tight. He notices you staring at his body and he smirks.

“Aw, did you miss me tending to your every need, princess? Not getting enough attention from my dear brother in there?” He nods his head toward Klaus’s room.

You cross your arms defensively over your chest, staring him down. “Don’t you dare fucking talk to me like that, Five. We are past that.”

He gives another sarcastic huff and turns his back on you again. “Go back to your boyfriend. Leave me alone.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you answer flatly, although that’s hardly relevant.

Five doesn’t say anything in response at first and you think you’ve won this weird little game you two are playing. Then you see his shoulders slump and his head hangs down.

“Then what are you doing with him?” he asks quietly.

You pause, blinking into the dim light of the kitchen, watching the muscles in his back flex through his shirt as he presses his palms harder into the countertop.

“What do you mean?” you ask with a tremble in your voice.

Five turns around to face you, the softness you had heard for just a moment gone again. He takes a menacing step toward you and you instinctively back up.

“I mean, what are you doing with Klaus? Why are you with him?”

Five continues to slowly make his way into your personal space. His eyes are dark and he’s breathing hard with anger or drunkenness, or both. You back up, but you find yourself trapped against the wall. Five pauses for a moment, like he’s unsure he wants to follow through on whatever he’s thinking. But then he’s taking another step toward you, and another, until he’s so close you can see the tiny flecks of brown in his otherwise clear green eyes.

You take a shaking breath in and you can smell the whiskey on his breath, and the leathery scent of the soap you recognize from the shower. You can hear the squeak of his leather dress shoe on the floor and the way the fabric of his pants brushes softly between his legs as he moves in.

When you don’t answer, he asks again, his voice low and demanding. “Why are you with him?”

You swallow hard and try to look away, but his stare is too intense. “I…I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Tell me.”

He’s leaning in, trapping you between his forearms as they are pressed against the wall next to your head, his lips just inches from yours as he waits for your answer. You have a feeling he’s not going anywhere until he hears what he wants to hear.

Your voice is barely a whisper when it comes out. “Because I don’t like being alone.”

One half of Five’s mouth curls up in a self-satisfied smirk. When he closes the already small gap between you and him, he rests his hand on your hip as your thigh grazes against his groin. You can feel the firm bulge starting to form in his perfectly fitted pants as you hold your breath.

“Fuck,” he murmurs painfully.

Before you can react, his mouth is on yours, hungry and rushed, like he’s trying to get as much of you as he can before he changes his mind again. But he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he presses further into you, flattening you against the wall, his hands clutching firmly to your hips. The weight of his entire body is pressed upon you, your breasts pushed against his chest and your groin flush with his. You take in a gulp of air between open-mouth kisses, half-resisting and half-responding to his touch.

If he senses any hesitation from you, he ignores it. Instead, he moans pitifully in his throat, raising both of his hands to bunch your hair into his fists. The feeling of his fingers against your scalp is like a spark; igniting the rest of your body so that you find yourself grabbing the back of his shirt and pushing your lower body into him.

His hands release from your hair, only to trail down the sides of your face and onto your neck. Hot and insistent, you feel his fingers tracing over the tendons on either side, across your jugular, and dipping into the hollow curve above your collarbone. His mouth leaves yours and follows the same route of his fingers; kissing softly but urgently in a linear pattern.

You are still grasping handfuls of his shirt on his back and then his chest. “Five.”

You don’t know what the meaning behind you saying his name is. You don’t want him to stop, but you can’t think clearly so it’s the only thing that comes out.

“It’s not fair,” he growls into your skin, moving to the other side of your neck. “Not fucking fair.”

A whine escapes your throat and you find yourself arching into him. Into his kisses and into his body. You want more and you don’t care that he’s drunk or that he all but forced himself on you. You’re not going to push him away and you stop kidding yourself that you were even thinking about it in the first place. It feels good. He feels good. And it feels right.

His kisses abruptly stop and when you open your eyes, you’re met with his intense gaze again. His mouth is parted as he labors for breath, chest heaving against yours. His hands are on your neck again. This time, they are encircling it, his palms warm against your skin and his thumbs on your chin, holding you in place and forcing you to look at him.

Five’s eyes are searching your face, taking in every detail.

“I want you. And I don’t fucking care about Klaus or anyone else. I want you,” he states quietly and breathlessly. “But if you want me to stop, tell me and I will. I’ll leave and you can go back to him.”

You frown, your eyebrows drawing together, as you take in the sharp angles of his face and the evident pain and longing that is written all over it. You could end this right now. He would step back, remove his hands from your body, and let you go. But that’s not what you want.

You shake your head slowly. “No. Don’t leave.”

“Fuck,” he breathes out again as if he’s disappointed in your answer.

There’s no time to contemplate that, however, because you are being hoisted up in one boost, Five’s strength more than enough to lift you easily off the ground. On instinct, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist. You can feel how hard he is as you pass over his groin and he gives a little grunt at the feeling.

It’s all a delirious haze as you cling to him, kissing his face and neck and winding your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. All while he is carrying you down the short hallway to his bedroom, bumping into the doorjamb on the way in, and closing the door behind him with a kick of his foot.

He walks over to the bed, dropping you down a bit ungracefully. Not that you care. You’re too busy trying desperately to shed your clothes as he does the same, the room filling with the sound of your loud and ragged breathing.

Since you were only wearing a t-shirt and shorts, you’re finished before he is and you lie back, watching as he fumbles with his belt buckle and shoves his pants hurriedly down. His shirt is off already, and you take in the hardness of his chest and the way his shoulders and biceps flex and relax with each movement. The tight boxer briefs he is wearing are damp where his hard cock has been leaking into them.

It’s all happening so fast, and he’s on top of you in a matter of seconds, pinning you down to the mattress, both of you naked and clawing at one another. He is grabbing and kneading your ass with one hand while the other one is on your breast, squeezing almost to the point of pain. But it feels so fucking good, and you’re just as forceful; digging your fingers into his hip and raking your nails roughly down the smooth skin of his back.

“Five,” you whine, unable to say anything else as he bites and sucks at your chest.

He’s groaning and gasping against your skin, like he’s drowning; like he can’t get enough. His mouth is everywhere. Your tits, your stomach, your neck.

He lets out a frustrated growl, even as he takes everything he wants and you let him.

“I hate it…” he mumbles, words cut off as he drags a tongue across your hardened nipple.

“What?” you ask after inhaling a sharp breath, your fist tangled in his dark hair.

Five doesn’t stop, even as he answers you, moving further down your body.

“I hate that he kisses you. I hate that he touches you,” he moans, his lips grazing over you and the words hot against your skin.

He pushes your legs apart and you pull in a deep breath, your hips rising off the bed in response. His mouth is on your inner thigh, pressed against it while his words vibrate over and through you.

“I hate that he makes you wet, and knows how you taste.”

Five is on his knees, face buried between your legs as he licks at your pussy, tongue lapping up the continual flow of your arousal and spreading it up through your aching folds. He’s holding you by your waist with both hands, steadying you as you thrust up into him. His mouth is hot and wet as it engulfs you in messy kisses and licks, the tip of his tongue darting over your clit as he drinks in your wetness and swallows it down.

The accuracy is tortuous, as he hits his target each time, leaving you writhing desperately beneath him, biting your bottom lip as you try in vain to quiet the noises he’s eliciting from you.

“Fi-ive…,”you whine pathetically before inhaling another loud breath.

His mouth is off of you again, leaving you soaking wet and desperate for more. Five is back to kissing up your body, going back over the trail he left on the way down. When he gets to your mouth, he kisses you hard and deep. You can taste your own sex on his tongue as it slips past your lips and inside, colliding with yours. As he bites and pulls at your lips with his teeth, you can feel his cock pressing against the inside of your thigh as he moves his hips rhythmically against you.

“I hate that he fucks you. I hate that he makes you come.” He pauses as he lets out another quiet moan. “And I hate that I hate it.”

He has pulled away from you, green eyes boring into you as he looks into yours. He hasn’t bothered with asking if anything he is doing is ok, probably taking your moans and involuntary hip jerks as proof that you were ok with everything. But now, he seems to be waiting for something. An acknowledgment of what he said. A sign that you want what he wants.

“Don’t you know?” you ask him, panting, as you look back at him. “When I close my eyes, it’s always you.”

One corner of his mouth is turned up, more than satisfied with your answer, as he is repositioning himself and shoving inside of you. You cry out, not even trying to hold it back, as your head falls backward and you clutch onto his shoulders. Five’s own loud groans are punctuated by each slow thrust of his hips as he holds himself over you on his forearms. Your eyes meet again, his face hovering over yours, dark hair hanging in messy strands off his forehead.

“Fuuck…I’ve wanted this for so long,” he breathes out, not breaking eye contact.

He’s slamming into you, his more than sizeable dick filling you up with each push. And it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. The way his body fits into yours. The way he looks at you. The intensity mixed with need and want. This is how fucking should feel. And you want to feel this way forever.

He has lowered himself so that your faces are closer; lips just an inch apart. He hasn’t changed his pace, though, still penetrating you over and over again in the perfect rhythm. Your hands run over the tight muscles of his rounded shoulders, nails raking red lines down his back as you lift your legs higher and angle your hips up.

“Look at me,” he demands and you open your eyes immediately in response. “I want you all to myself. I want you to fuck me. Scream for me. Come for me.”

There was no question posed, but you find yourself nodding along, agreeing with each word he says; arching into him and pulling him closer.

It’s not long before the tension is building, the heat spreading out through your groin until it’s no longer bearable. He’s pounding into you with precision and just enough force that you know you’ll be sore tomorrow. But that thought is far back in your mind, and you focus on his loud breathing against your skin, the feral look in his eyes, the way his body moves so perfectly in time with yours.

You come for him, just like he wanted, and you’re loud and desperate; thrashing underneath him, clutching tightly to his sweat-dampened skin. When you moan his name, long and pleading, his thrusts stop as his hips slam into you one more time, his cock unloading inside of you as he shudders and buries his face into the crook of your neck; a painful-sounding growl mixing with his stuttering breath.

Five stays like this, breathing in the scent of your skin and hair, for a minute or two before he lifts himself off of you, lying next to you on his back. He’s still breathing hard, but you can already see the wheels turning in his head; the regret and shame washing over him. You don’t want him to feel like that, though. There’s no reason for him to feel that way.

“Five?” you ask hesitantly.

He turns his head toward you, slowly, hands resting on his chest. You’re not really sure what to say. You want to tell him it’s ok. That you were just as much of a part in this as he is. But you know that will probably make him angry.

“Do you want…” your voice breaks as you look at him, realizing this passionate moment is most likely coming to an end. “Never mind. I can go.”

You sit up and start to maneuver off the bed when you feel his hand on top of yours. When you look back, his face is different. It’s more resolved now, like he’s figured something out.

“No,” he says softly. “Stay.”

“But…” You glance at the closed door of his bedroom, and he knows what you’re thinking because he’s probably thinking the same thing. Klaus. There’s also zero chance that Klaus hadn’t heard your loud cries of his brother’s name and the bed slamming against the wall.

“I don’t care. Stay.” When you look back at him, he smiles just a little. “Please,” he adds.

You return the smile, pushing the covers down so that you can both get underneath. He draws you to him with an arm around your middle and you nestle into his chest. He’s warm and his arm around you is strong, and it feels good.

Neither of you say anything more as you give in to your tiredness, drifting off while Five trails soft lines up and down your arms with his fingers.

Sometime during the night, you feel Five behind you, pressing himself against you and pulling you closer. He’s hard again and lightly kissing your shoulder, running his hand down your arm and then your thigh. You smile sleepily, not even opening your eyes, and push back into him, wordlessly letting him know you want him again.

You’re both caught in that hazy delirium of not being fully awake and Five thrusts into you slowly, rubbing his cheek softly against your hair. It’s passionate and pure, and you might have thought it was a dream if the words he was saying to you weren’t so real.

“I want this,” he whispers into the darkness. “I want this with you. Not just tonight, every night. Please.”

You sigh contentedly, pressing your backside into him as he fucks you perfectly.

“I want this, too. It’s always you, Five,” you answer, reaching your arm back to cradle his head in your hand.

He’s groaning low and desperately, his forehead pressed into your neck.

“I’ll take care of you like you deserve,” he’s pleading as he thrusts harder into you and his hand moves between your legs, urging you on. “Whatever you need, I’ll give to you. I’ll make you happy.”

You whine quietly, already feeling the need for release. “I know you will…I know…” You gasp when he gives one forceful thrust, fingers pressing hard against your clit. “You’re all I need.”

“Please,” he’s murmuring against your neck. “Please let me. I’m all yours, sweetheart. Please,” he keeps repeating, right before you’re both shuddering and moaning as everything builds and you reach your apices together.

The post-orgasmic high you are feeling is mixing with your emotions and your exhaustion, and you blink into the darkness of the room, feeling Five pull out; the hot cum he just pumped into you seeping out and sticking between your bodies. It doesn’t matter, though. He still has you in his arms as you both sink further into the mattress again.

He doesn’t say anything more, and neither do you. You feel him nuzzle into your neck and your hair, his lips pressed against you and you sigh happily. Who knows what the morning will bring, but that is still several hours away, and no matter what, you belong to each other now. You interlace your fingers with his and settle into the perfect curve of his body as you fall back into a peaceful sleep. 

When you wake up, the sunlight is streaming through the window and across Five’s bed, and you are alone. But it doesn’t take long to figure out what woke you up in the first place. Loud voices are arguing, sounding like they are coming from the kitchen, and growing louder by the second.

“You are a massive asshole!”

“Oh, get over yourself, Klaus! You’re only mad because it’s a blow to your fragile ego.”

Klaus gives a sarcastic snort. “Uh, no, actually, I’m mad because my own BROTHER fucked my GIRLFRIEND!”

“She’s not your girlfriend! You’ve made that perfectly clear.”

“What-fucking-ever! It’s still fucked up. It’s still a betrayal!”

You hear Five laugh dangerously and you can picture his stance; body strung tight as a bow, jaw set in defiance, fists clenched.

“You don’t even care about her, Klaus. Admit it.”

There’s a pause as neither one of them say anything. You listen carefully for Klaus’s answer, if he gives one. Finally, he speaks. It’s quiet, but you can just make it out.

“Maybe not. Not in the way that I should, anyway.” He pauses. “But here’s the thing, Five. I cared about you. You know, you’re always reminding me to be careful all the time and not to be so trusting of everyone. Well, you were right; I trusted you and look how that turned out. You’re not my brother. Go fuck yourself.”

You hear footsteps and then the door slams. There’s silence again.

You don’t know what to do, so you stay put. You’re still naked, though, so you scramble off the bed and gather up your underwear and the t-shirt you were wearing. As you yank it over your head, Five opens the door and walks in. He’s carrying two mugs of hot coffee and he hands one silently over to you.

You say thank you as you accept the mug, but your smile of appreciation goes unreturned as Five crosses back the way he came and stands in the open doorway. His face is impassive. Uncaring. The opposite of the passion you saw in his eyes just hours earlier. You frown over your coffee as you take a small sip.

“I heard you and Klaus and I’m so sorry. I know this is hard, but…” you start to say, but Five cuts you off.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Look, I have a lot of things to do today, though, so you should probably get going.”

You flinch at his abruptness and you can’t even pretend to hide your hurt. You see a faint flicker of some emotion in his eyes before it’s gone again. Blank.

“What do you mean? I thought we…” your voice trails off, unable to finish the sentence as the words catch in your throat. You swallow and try again. “You said…”

Five jumps in again before you can finish. “I was drunk, I didn’t know what I was saying,” he replies, his voice flat and unmoving. “I’m sorry if I misled you. Obviously, this was a mistake.”

He says nothing more; just turns around and walks out, leaving you sitting on his bed, coffee cup in hand, and a sick feeling in your stomach. Your chest is tight and it’s hard to breathe. You can’t believe what’s happening right now. How he’s treating you. Your heart is breaking into a million pieces and it’s humiliating.

After you gather your things, pull on your clothes, and pack your bag with the few toiletries and other things you’ve been leaving there, you head out to the living room. Five is there, dressed in his normal black slacks and white button-down, sitting in one of the chairs. He has a newspaper in his lap and he doesn’t look up when you enter. You stand there, staring, until he reluctantly meets your eyes.

You are trying desperately to hold back tears, and for the most part you are doing a good job. But they are there, threatening to spill over at any second. You try to steady your voice.

“I get it if this is hard for you, Five. It’s hard for me, too. I didn’t want to come between you and your brother. But pretending that this was a mistake? That what you said last night didn’t mean anything? That’s bullshit and you know it!”

He cocks his head to the side and crosses one leg over another as he gives you a condescending smirk.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Never heard of a one-night stand?” he sneers.

“Fuck you,” you spit out, your voice hitching in your throat.

You turn away and head for the door before he can see you cry. On your way out, you stop and turn back. He’s still sitting there, looking after you, the same non-expression on his face.

“One last thing before I go. You did this, Five, not me. You pushed me away. So, if you wake up one day and you’re all alone…you only have yourself to blame. Because this could have been something really good.”

You turn and close the door behind you, not even bothering to look back again.

Chapter Six: My Own Worst Enemy

I’ve dealt with a lot of regret in my life. Times when I’ve wanted to kick my own ass and beat the living shit out of me. A couple of times I’ve been successful in rewinding time by a few minutes to fix my mistakes. Other times, not so much. But none of those times, barring that little snafu when I ended up living in a barren wasteland for 45 years, have come close to how much I hate myself right now.

After she slams the door shut, I blink myself over there. My hand is on the doorknob, mid-turn, when I stop myself again. I can’t think straight and I don’t even know what is right or what is wrong anymore. All I know is that all of this is my fault. If I had just kept to myself and kept my dick in my pants, I wouldn’t be standing here like this now. I rest my forehead against the door and squeeze my eyes shut. I briefly think about going back and changing this. I only need a few minutes, not long. I can tell her I’m sorry and that I don’t want her to leave. I can tell her I did mean everything I said before. I can try and fix it. But I don’t.

I slam my fist against the door and kick it at the same time. “FUCK!”

That’s all there is to say in this situation because I may have just lost the two most important people in my life. All because of my stupid, thoughtless actions. I feel bad about Klaus, but I know he’ll eventually get over it. He might not forgive me, but I know he’ll be ok. But her…that look in her eyes when I told her I didn’t mean any of it…I don’t think I can fix that. I wouldn’t even know how, because I don’t think I’ve ever hurt someone that badly and that viciously before. If I have, I hadn’t cared until now.

I had panicked. I thought I had made peace with everything and then Klaus had said what he did to me. You’re not my brother. And he was right. Not only am I not even his biological brother, but I have been on my high horse pretending I can protect him, when really all I do is make shit worse. What kind of a brother, adopted or not, does that?

The thing is, if I had just gone about this in a completely different way, it probably would have turned out just fine. I could have gone to him, told him I had feelings for her and that I thought maybe she felt the same way, and apologize. Maybe he would have been a little mad, but in all reality, he probably would have been fine with it. It’s the way that it happened that really threw a monkey wrench into the whole thing.

I know he wasn’t all that into her, and vice versa. But to take the same girl that your brother has been sleeping with on a regular basis and fuck her (loudly), right down the hall from him without so much as a heads-up-pre-coitus email…that’s probably some sort of code violation right there. Granted, I’m sometimes oblivious to social norms and things other people might describe as “tact”, but I do know this is a pretty blatant faux pas.

I shouldn’t have gotten so pissed. I shouldn’t have gone off to drink my feelings away. I shouldn’t have stayed in the kitchen talking to her. I shouldn’t have done a lot of things.

I was mad at Klaus for not stepping up when he should have, but I was mostly just mad at him for having her in the first place. And then when she came to his defense…that was too much. I had to get out of there before I said or did something even worse. So, I did what I usually do when things get too scrambled in my brain; I went to find some booze.

The bar I chose was the first one I had come across while I was storming down the sidewalk, and I found an empty barstool where I could sit and wallow in self-pity. The place was a total dive, but it was dark and crowded and the bartender had no issue serving me as many shots of whiskey that I asked for. I think I was on my fourth when I noticed the girl on the other end of the bar eye-fucking me. She was cute, with dark brown hair and a minuscule top that didn’t do much to hide her impressive rack. In my drunken state, I found myself staring back at her, which she took as an invitation.

I can hold my liquor, but after five shots, even I’m going to get a little sloppy. Everything was a blur. It was dark, loud, and my senses were all screwed up. She was standing between my legs, leaning in to talk to me, and I could smell her perfume which I didn’t particularly like. I don’t even know what she was saying to me. Her hand was on my thigh and she was purposefully pressing her tits against me as she talked close to my ear. I could feel her hand moving higher up my leg, and she was saying something about leaving together and going back to her place. It sounded like a good idea, but something was off.

I felt her lips brush against my cheek and that’s when I had a moment of clarity. Her voice was all wrong, her perfume was giving me a headache, and if I was paying attention to what she had been saying, I’m sure I would have found her boring. More importantly, she wasn’t her. And if it wasn’t her, I didn’t really give a shit. Grabbing the woman’s wrist with my hand, she stopped her kiss and pulled back, confused.

“Stop,” I said, gradually snapping out of the trance I had been in. When she questioned me, obviously irritated that I would be turning her advances down, I let go of her hand, pushing it off of me. “Go shove your tits in someone else’s face. I’m not interested.”

With a glare, she turned around, but not before she flipped me off and called me an asshole. That’s when I figured I should get out of there before I drank enough that I wouldn’t be able to find my way out. I also figured it would be safe to go home because she would have left the apartment hours before that. Wrong again.

When I saw her there, I just couldn’t keep it up anymore. I couldn’t see the point. And if she had slapped me across the face, or asked me to stop, I would have. I would have been humiliated, but I would have stopped. But she didn’t want me to.

God, I can still feel her body against mine and hear her moaning my name. I can still taste her on my tongue and smell the sweat on her skin. She invaded all of my senses and she’s still clinging to me. I have never begged anyone for anything in my entire life, and yet there I was, pleading with her to be with me. She had said she wanted to, and I could feel how much she meant it. We were going to be happy together; I had promised her I would take care of her like she deserves. It was all right there for me. All of the things I had been dreaming of and wanting for so long. Then I went and fucked it all up.

She was right, too. I will wake up all alone one day, and I will have no one to blame but myself.

It’s a week later, and I’m busy packing up all of my shit into boxes since I plan on moving out tomorrow. I haven’t seen much of Klaus because he hasn’t been around a lot and when he is, he avoids me and locks himself in his room. I had immediately started looking for a new place and I found one that is ok and will be fine short term. It’s also fairly close to her coffee shop, which had not been intentional, but it’s not my fault that’s where it’s located. I’m packing up some books when Klaus comes and stands in the doorway. I look up, startled. He’s holding a bottle of vodka in one hand and two shot glasses in the other.

“Mind if I come in?” he asks.

“Sure, come on in.”

He walks in and sits down on the edge of my bed. He puts the shot glasses on the side table and pours vodka into each of them, filling them to the top before he sets the bottle down. He hands one over to me and I take it from him even though I’m confused as hell right now.

“What’s this for?” I ask.

Klaus shrugs. “I don’t know, but I feel like we should have one more drink together before you move out.”

I don’t know how to respond to that, so I just follow his lead and hold my glass up in a toast before slinging it back. It burns on the way down but it tastes good.

“You don’t have to leave, you know,” Klaus says after a long pause.

“Yes, I do.”

He sighs and looks around my room. “Look, I know this is a weird situation, and I am still mad at you, but that doesn’t mean I want you to leave.”

“You told me I wasn’t your brother and to go fuck myself,” I remind him.

“Ah, yes, well…perhaps I was a bit over-dramatic. I was just a tad hungover still and you were yelling just so loudly. Really, Five, your voice just pierces right into the brain sometimes and makes people say things just to get you to stop.” I shake my head. “No, you were the appropriate amount of dramatic and I don’t blame you. You’re right, I’m a shitty brother and I messed up big time. Which is why I need to leave.”

“Look, Five, I didn’t mean all of that, ok? Yes, I was pissed. And yes, maybe what you did was not the greatest thing ever. But you were also right.”

“About what?”

“About not caring about her. I realize that regardless of our status, I still was a pretty shitty friend to her. I’m glad she had you here. Even if you did rail her hard enough I think even I could feel it.”

I cringe. “Klaus, I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t begin to cover it, but I truly am sorry.”

He nods thoughtfully. “So…how long have you been in love with her?”

I stare, open-mouthed and wide-eyed; dumbstruck. Klaus laughs.

“You think you’re so smart and slick all of the time, but I got news for you Fivey…you ain’t.”

“What are you talking about?” I sputter out, even though it’s about the worst acting anyone’s ever done.

Klaus rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “It’s ok, you can admit it. I’m not dumb or blind. Or deaf, as it turns out. I know how you operate around people, and I have never seen you like you are when you’re with her. You are one smitten kitten and you know what? Good for you.”

I am about to protest again, but when I go to deny it, I realize I just don’t have the heart or the energy for it. “Ok, you’re right, I love her. I’m sorry, but I do. I have for a while now.”

He nods and smiles, not shocked by this information. “Like I said, good for you. You deserve love and happiness in your life, Five. Would I have preferred it to be with someone I hadn’t also bumped uglies with? Probably. But hey, love works in mysterious ways, right? I mean, look at me! I fell in love with someone I met after falling out of the sky in the middle of a fucking war zone. Talk about bad timing! I guess we Hargreeves are good at bad timing, though, aren’t we?”

He laughs, even though it’s more sad than funny and I stand there for a minute in thought. Then I come to a conclusion.

“There’s only one way I’m going to feel better about this and be able to move on with a reasonably clear conscience.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to hit me.”

Klaus looks at me in disbelief. “Uh…yeah, ok, Five. I’m not falling for that.”

I shake my head and roll my shoulders back, facing him head-on. “No, I mean it. I want you to punch me directly in the face. I won’t hit back or defend myself.”

“Five, I don’t want to hit you…”

“Come on! I’m sure you’ve thought about it on several occasions before. Well, now here’s your chance. For the second time in your life, you can hit me in the face without any backlash. I promise.”

He chuckles. “Oh yeah, that was a fun day. But seriously, even if I did want to hit you, which I don’t, I’m not even good at it, you know that. I never have been. I’m like one of those guys in old cartoons where they swing and miss and just spin around in a circle.”

“Klaus, for fucks sake, stand up and punch me in the fucking face!”

After another pause, he stands up in front of me. He’s still taller than me, despite me being at my full height now. He looks down on me nervously and I see his fists clench and unclench.

“Really? You really want me to do this?”

I nod. “I really do.” Then I hold my finger up. “However, just remember this is one hit.”

He shrugs and lifts his fist up, pulling it back and I close my eyes to brace myself. WHAM! He gets me right in the jaw and he is a big fucking liar because he is good at it and it hurts like a motherfucker.

“Son of a…Fuck!” I yell, holding my face. I swear I can already feel a bruise forming and I run my tongue over my teeth to make sure they are all still accounted for.

“Oh my god, Five, are you ok? Shit, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I actually did that!” Klaus is panicking at first but after a couple of seconds, he starts laughing. “I can’t believe I actually did that. And you haven’t killed me or even maimed me! Man, I got you good, too.”

“Yeah,” I mumble, still rubbing my throbbing jaw. “Turns out it hurts a whole lot more when you know it’s coming.” Klaus continues to laugh at my pain, and even though it hurts to move my face, I grin up at him. “This was a one-time offer, by the way. So, don’t be thinking you’re hot shit, because I will drop you without a second thought.”

Klaus gives a sarcastic salute. “Message received, big bro.” He purses his lips together and gestures to the boxes around my room. “So, are you still leaving?”

I nod. “Yes, I’m still leaving. And it’s not even all because of that. I don’t think it’s doing either of us any good to be living together like this. I have realized that I was using you as an excuse not to move on with my life. I told myself I was doing you a favor when in reality, I was just looking for a purpose. Any purpose. But I need to figure that out for myself.”

“Ok, but you’re just going to leave me all alone here?”

I shrug. “Maybe Luther wants to move in.”

Klaus looks horrified. “Good lord, no thank you! You skipped out on the grosser years of having to live with that barn animal and let me tell you, it’s no picnic. I don’t need giant pairs of tighty whities thrown around my bathroom, or having boxes of my favorite cereal eaten up in two days.”

I grin and clap him on the shoulder. “You’ll figure it out, Klaus. You always do. And you don’t need me to help you do it, either.”

“Thanks, Fivey,” he says softly, before catching me off guard and pulling me in for a bear hug, trapping me against his chest.

“Ah! My face! Let go, you stupid asshole!” He lets me go and I rub at my jaw again, glaring up at him. He is unfazed so I just shake my head. Klaus will always be Klaus, and I meant what I said. He’ll be just fine without me here.

*********************************************************************

“Feet. Off. The coffee table,” I say as I whack at Klaus with a rolled-up newspaper like he’s a cat on a kitchen counter.

“Hey! Geez, alright…keep your shirt on, old man,” he protests as he tries to guard himself with his hands while removing his feet from where they were propped. “What’s got your little assassin bonnet full of bees today?”

“Nothing! Maybe I just don’t want your disgusting feet all over my furniture.”

Klaus tilts his head to the side, looking up at me. “No…I don’t think that’s it. You seem even more murderous lately than normal.” Then his face lights up. “I know! I bet you haven’t been laid in a while, that’s got to be it. That’s an easy fix, too, because I bet if I go outside right now and made an announcement that the infamous and very sexy Number Five Hargreeves was looking for some action, you’d have a stampede of pretty ladies and probably some pretty men breaking down your door.”

“Klaus,” I start to say before he interrupts.

“Wait! Here’s a better idea. Me and you, we go on the prowl tonight. I’ll take you to some great clubs where you can meet someone that’s suitable for banging. Well, they’re not clubs as much as warehouses full of people tripping on acid, but still. I guarantee I can get you laid by the end of the night.”

“Klaus.”

“Yeah?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

When he manages to look like a kicked puppy, I roll my eyes and sigh. “Thank you for your concern over my sex life, but I do not need to get laid. I’m fine.”

He eyes me up and when I look away guiltily, he gasps with a hand on his chest. “Hang on. Do not tell me the last time you put your banana in a fruit salad was with…”

My silence is the only answer he needs and he gives another dramatic gasp, which makes me grit my teeth together.

“Holy shit, Fivey! Well, no fucking wonder you’ve got your man panties in a wad lately.”

“Again, and I say this with the utmost love and respect…shut the fuck up.”

He stands up. “No, no, no…I will not shut up! So, you’re telling me that over the past six months , you’ve been carrying a torch for her? Wow, that is some romantic shit right there. But still, that shouldn’t stop you from driving the ol’ Pope mobile into some lucky lady’s Vatican now and then.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“We don’t have time to get into all of that right now. Besides, this is about you. I’m serious, Five, you can’t go on re-living your virgin years just because you’re a little hung up on one person.”

I shake my head and put my hands in my pockets. “I’m not just hung up on her. She’s all I think about. All day, all night. I still love her, Klaus.”

I don’t know why I let my walls down just now and told him the truth, but the fact is we have actually been getting along much better now that we aren’t under the same roof anymore. I’m starting to feel a little more comfortable talking about things with him. And the nice thing about Klaus is that he’s done so many weird and fucked up things in his life, he never judges.

“Oh, Five,” he says sadly. “I had no idea. You never mentioned it so I just assumed you’d moved on.”

“Yeah, well…it’s fine. I’ll get over it eventually.”

“You know, the easy solution to this is to walk your cute buns over to that coffee place of hers and tell her what you just told me. Confess your undying love. Sweep her off her feet.”

I laugh and run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, I don’t think that would work. Pretty sure she hates my guts. And for good reason.”

“Listen, as someone who had a very close seat to the ‘Five Hargreeves Fuck-tacular’ show, I’m going to bet she doesn’t hate your guts. No one sounds like that while getting their naughty bits plowed into oblivion and then just forgets about it.”

Ignoring that little comment, I shake my head. “You don’t understand. I really fucked this one up and I don’t think there’s any way to come back from it.”

“Well, all you can do is try. If she hates you, then it’s as you suspected and you can move on. If not, then you two can sail off into the sunset together. There’s really nothing to lose here.”

He has a point, but the thought of just walking in there to try and talk to her is terrifying. I’m not sure I have the balls for it.

“Want me to go talk to her for you?” he asks.

“What? No!” When I see him smile mischievously, I jab my finger at him. “I’m warning you, Klaus, if you go over there and so much as even mention my name, I swear to god I will blink you to Antarctica and leave you there.”

Klaus waves his hand at me. “Please…you’ve been threatening that since we were kids. You really need to come up with something new. But, fine, I won’t go over there.”

When I nod my approval, I assume this conversation is done. It’s not, apparently, and Klaus grins at me again.

“In the meantime, how about I set you up on some casual dates? You don’t want to be out of practice if your lady decides to take you back. What do you think? You up for a game of pelvic pinochle? Burying the weasel? Filling the cream donut? Launching the meat missile?”

I massage my temples with my fingers, trying to fight off the headache I can feel forming behind my eyes. “For the love of all that is holy, Klaus, can you please shut the fuck up? I am begging you.”

He gives his annoying little Klaus giggle. “Sure thing, Fivey. Whatever you say.”

“Thank you.”

Four days later I’m whacking at him with the newspaper again. This time for a different reason.

“Ow! I didn’t mention your name, just like you told me, I swear! Ow!”

“You talked to her and gave her my address!” I yell, whacking at him harder around the head.

“Damnit, cut it out! You said don’t mention your name and I didn’t. She just happened to know who I was talking about. OW!”

I stop my assault and stand there, breathing hard through my nose as I glare at my stupid ass brother. “Why? Why the fuck did you do that?”

“Listen, Fivey, I love you and all but you are really your own worst enemy. I’m trying to move things along for you; help you out. You can’t stay here, all pent-up with sexual energy and moping around the house for the rest of your life. Don’t you want to get out there and live? Don’t you want someone to share your life with?”

I sigh and flop down into an armchair. He’s right, of course, even if I don’t want to admit it. “Maybe,” I mutter.

“Of course you do! That’s what everyone wants in life. And you, old timer, have been given the gift of time and the chance to start over. That’s like everyone’s dream! So, don’t just sit here and waste a gift like that. Not when you could be out there spreading a little of that teleporting-genius-infused DNA around with your special man sauce.”

I make a face. “Gross. Please don’t say ‘man sauce’ again.”

“Anyway…she didn’t say she wanted you dead and she accepted the piece of paper I gave her, so…I don’t know, those are both good things, right?”

“I guess. Did she say anything else?” I ask, trying not to get my hopes up.

Klaus shakes his head. “No, sorry.”

I wasn’t expecting anything, but it still feels like a bit of a blow. I nod, and then I look at Klaus suspiciously. “Did you say anything else?”

He puts a hand to his chest. “Who, moi ? Of course not. Well, I did apologize for everything that went down, but like I said, your name didn’t come up.”

“Hmm…why do I get the feeling that’s not the full truth?”

Klaus shrugs innocently. “I have no idea, but trust me. I bet any day now she’ll come knocking on your door wanting some more of that sweet, sweet loving from you. Just you wait.”

As if his prophecy was about to be fulfilled at that precise moment, I glance towards the door. What would I even say if she really did show up here? I had been avoiding her place like the plague, even though that meant taking much longer routes to certain places. Except for those few times when I couldn’t help myself and I watched through the windows from across the street and then blinked away before she could spot me. Otherwise, the thought of having to face her again makes my stomach churn. So, maybe Klaus did do me a favor. Maybe she really will hunt me down and knock on my door one day soon. If she does, I’m sure it will be just for the opportunity to chew me out. But, even so, the thought of seeing her standing in front of me again makes my pulse race just a little faster.

Link to the next few chapters here!

@baileebear

[c0ffee-stain]

Whispers

Five Hargreeves x f!reader

Navigation • Previous Chapter: 1.08 • Chapter 9 - 1.09 • Next Chapter: Chapter 10 - 1.1

Death wish

"You both look good," The Handler observed. "all things considered."

"It's good to see you again." My stomach churned at his response.

The woman smiled, tilting her head up slightly as if reminiscing an old memory. "Feels like we met just yesterday. Of course you were both a little bit older then." A hostile smile began to stretch across her face. "Congratulations on the age regression. Very clever." Her eyes then averted to mine. "Threw us all of the scent."

Five used whatever strength he could summon not to scoff right then and there. "Ah well, I wish I could take credit. I just miscalculated the time dilation projections and..." His lips pressed into a tight lipped smile. "Well, you know. Here we are."

I shot a glare towards the boy. The more he spoke, the more he seemed to implicate his actions with mine.

Her crimson lips twitched upwards. "Yes," She spoke. "Here you both are."

"But you do realise your efforts are futile. So why don't you tell me what you really want."

What I was promised--

"I want you to put a stop to it." Five replied.

"You realise what you're asking for is next to impossible, even for me. What's meant to be is meant to be. That's our raison d'etre, our purpose."

Five reached into his holster and pointed a gun towards The Handler, standing comfortably with a hand in his pocket. "Yeah?" He hummed, his tense shoulders contrasting the carefree tone he boasted as if he were in control. "Well how about survival as a raison?"

"I'll just be replaced," The Handler shrugged. "I'm but a... small cog in a machine." She was clearly unimpressed that even Five had settled with the naïve conclusion that all his problems would be eradicated with her demise. A thought many before him had proceeded with in the past. A thought that I had attempted to act on too many times to count, only to be slapped back into reality and be forced to come to terms with the harsh truth.

I was lucky to have The Handler. Luckier than most who were slaving away back in the confines of the Commission with the false promise of escape.

The woman began approaching Five in measured steps, facing the barrel of the gun shamelessly. "This fantasy you've been nurturing about summoning up your family and kidnaping y/n to stop the apocalypse," She paused as Five gradually began to retract the gun, his fist trembling in anger and teeth dug deep into his tongue. "is just that. A fantasy."

She then turned to face me. "And I'm more than positive that you're tired of being held hostage by someone you despise." As Five began to open his mouth to respond, The Handler smoothly proceeded, "You're one of my most valuable assets- maybe even my most- so I'm willing to turn a blind eye and..." She paused, her blue eyes glinting in familiarity. "cut a deal with you."

"No--"

"Yes." I firmly stated, glaring at the boy beside me. "I would be more than happy to."

"What do you think you're doing--"

I snapped my neck towards him and scowled. "What I should've done from the beginning."

"Don't think we're leaving you out, Fivey. We want to offer you a new position back at the Commission." She lifted her hand towards him as if in surrender. "In management."

This caught my attention immediately, my lips parting slightly as I caught myself from protesting to her decisions.

Five sputtered in response, almost not finding his words. "Sorry," He scoffed. "what's that now?"

"Come back to work for us again. You know it's where you belong." The Handler was closer to Five now, his gun faltering ever so slightly.

"Well it didn't work out too well the last time."

"But you wouldn't be in the correctional division any longer. I'm talking about... the home office." She spoke. "You'd have the best health and pension, and an end to this ceaseless travel."

The platinum haired woman chuckled before any of us could object. "You're a distinguished professional in," She paused, dramatically inhaling a deep breath as her eyes roamed Five's figure. "school boy shorts. We have the technology to reverse the process for the both of you."

The boys shoulders slumped slightly, showcasing his eventual defeat to the Handlers flattering promises and honeyed words. Both which he knew would eventual morph into sweet nothings to trap him into her tapestry of lies. Each web sewn delicately with a careful equivocation to back up every false pretence ever spewed from those red stained lips.

"I mean, you can't be happy like this." She proceeded, her polished manicured hand clasping over the gun, gently pushing it down.

"I'm not looking for happy." He rasped.

The Handler left a trail of feather light touches along Five's cheek, her fingers just brushing his skin, as she said, "We're all looking for happy. We can make that happen."

"We can make you... yourself again."

He sighed, his eyes averting from place to place abruptly. "And what about my family?" Five countered.

"What about them?"

"I want them to survive."

I rolled my eyes, grumbling a curse in annoyance at how thick Five's skull presented itself to be time and time again. And it seemed the same thought was running through the Handlers mind as she glared blankly at the boy before looking away with a sigh, her gaze landing on the statue-like bodies of Luther, Diego and Klaus.

She puckered her lips. "All of them?"

"Yes," His eyes narrowed. "All of them."

The woman flexed her hands and reached for her sunglasses, placing them back on top of the bridge of her nose in a swift movement.

"I'll see what I can do."

There was no way in hell Five would fall for something like this so easily. The boy would be the next person after me to have witnessed the brutalness and severity of what the actions of the Commissions Handler can lead to. Especially if ones future relies soley on a deal based on a 'maybe'- an uncertainty.

She raised a hand, her lips turning into a smile.

“So, do we have a deal?”

The question lingered in the air for longer than it should have, the weight of each of the Handlers words staining the tense atmosphere like venom does to its prey.

Any wrong word or movement could result in two of, or all of us dead. And I was more than ready to make the former come true if necessary.

Five looked down to her hand, to her eyes, then twisted his neck to meet mine with brows furrowed from the constant weight of suspicion burdening him and his every thought.

"One thing." He turned away and took long strides towards Hazel and Cha Cha, placing his gun back into the holster attached to his hip, and reached down, de-assembling one of the duo's pistols and flinging it away. Hastily, he made his way back and reached towards the bullet hanging mid air aimed for Luther, repositioning its trajectory away from his brother.

Back in the situation he was in seconds ago, repeating his actions he looked down at the Handlers stretched hand, but quickly halted himself from making contact. "Actually scratch that." He licked his lips hastily. "One more thing."

This time he took a few steps towards me, his palm coming to grip my wrist in a vice-like grip and pulled me away from the woman's intruding presence.

"What is your problem?" I hissed, my face scrunched in a mixture of pain and frustration. Clenching my jaw, I did my best to hide the pain and focused on Fives gaze.

His darkened eyes bore into mine intensely as his forehead wrinkled and nose scrunched in disgust, lips pinched into a tight scowl. The pain in my wrist quickly subsided into a dull numbness as Five tightened his palm further, pulling me eerily closer.

"If find out that you've been planning this from the start," He began, lowering his voice to mask the tremor bound to shake through his words. "I will rip you apart limb from limb and watch you bleed out beneath me with a laugh on my face." I felt his spit fling onto my face, my jaw tightening further in distaste. "And this isn't some everyday threat, y/n," I raised a brow at the use of my first name. "This is personal."

"Got that?" His breath fanned against my face and his grip tightened momentarily before releasing my wrist all together and strolling back to the Handler as if nothing had happened at all, not giving me a single second to respond like the coward he was proving to be.

"Close your mouth dear." I heard the Handlers voice echo into my ears as I approached the two. "Wouldn't want to swallow any flies."

I swallowed my last bit if anger down to my gut and scoffed, not trusting myself to look at the boy beside me in fears I'd do something I'd come to regret.

At last, Five clasped his hand over the Handlers, a pleasant smile gracing her lips.

"Deal."

Date: REDACTED, 1955 Location: TEMPS COMMISSION HQ Time: REDACTED

It was strange to be back at the Commission so fast. Like a sudden whiplash, a sudden feeling that from here, things could only get worse no matter what I tried. I couldn't really explain it.

Especially now, as the Handler, Five and I walked through the Commissions front garden as if we had all the time in the world. And technically, we did. But everything I felt my gut wailing and screaming for me to understand only proved that time was the only thing I didn't have.

It was terrifying. But even fear couldn't replace the anger brewing within me. All because of some fucking man-child who decided to be selfish and save his family from their inevitable doom.

And the audacity this idiot had to threaten me as if I was the one endangering a whole timeline was beyond me.

A scoff left my lips as his threats rang in my mind. I shook my head in annoyance. I should be the one to rip his limbs apart. I should be the one to watch him bleed into the ground. I should be the one that comes out on top, laughing at his last dying efforts to merely take another breath. But most of all, I should be the one to be talking out a deal with the Handler.

As if on cue, the Handlers words rang through the air, along with the series of greetings from the Commission associates around us.

“I’ve never met anyone quite like you. Hazel and Cha Cha, for example, are talented certainly, but they can’t see the big picture.”

“And what, he can?” I grumbled, before hissing in pain. Five had thrown his heel back and kicked my shin. As I tried to respond with my own attack, the boy read my mind and swiftly moved to the side to dodge my foot.

Acting as if she hadn’t witnessed a thing, the Handler carried on with her flattery. “Your spunk, your enterprising spirit, it reminds me of myself if I may be so vainglorious.” She smiled, leading us in towards the buildings entrance.

"If things work out for you here, you could potentially make a fine successor, Five."

The moment we stepped foot inside the headquarters, the Handlers coat was swiftly taken by another worker as she led us through the familiar staircase. Once I opened my mouth to speak, the boy beside me quickly cut in front with a shove and a glare, and asked, "I'd like to discuss the logistics of my family's safety at your earliest convenience." Then added, "As well as this body replacement."

"Such chutzpah." The Handler sighed. "It's refreshing, I'll admit."

I rolled my eyes, the memories of my own 'chutzpah' flickering through my mind along with the punishments that came with it. "Don't claim to be brave if you can't handle a little pain." is what the Handler always used to say. The way the blue hues of her eyes glistened in grim satisfaction, and the way her voice reminded me of one I longed to forget would forever stick with me, haunting every reflection my eyes dared to meet.

The image of her unsettling grin, deep crimson lipstick smeared onto the unnatural white of her teeth. The metallic stench of blood that seemed to come and go with every snap of her fingers. The haze of smoke blocking whatever was left of my tear-stricken vision, and her warm breathing whispering bittersweet nothings into my ear- which were more bitter than I remembered. The memory was impossible to forget.

I mean, how could I forget such a core moment in my life?

How could I forget my first failure?

But that didn’t matter right now. As all I needed right this second, was to watch her inflict the same punishments onto Five. No matter how cruel that may be. I needed to see someone else go through the same... incidents as I did. I needed to know that I wasn't the only one who'd fell prey to the woman's actions. But from the way the Handler was treating Five, meeting his every demand with an agreement or a compromise, it seemed that I was unlucky enough to keep getting the short end of the stick.

I hadn't even realised my fists were clenched until a sting shot through my palm. My eyes averted down to my hand, crescent marks staring right back up at me with the same intensity.

"Now that you've finally agreed to work with us, we've got all the time in the world." Smug. Her voice was so fucking smug. I ran my hand over my face as if the action was going to release the tension in my jaw, my eyes- anywhere.

The woman led us through the Commission as a mini-reintroduction as if we hadn't been working there a few days ago.

"The Commission works in support of a delicate balance between the time line of events and mankind's free will." Leading us towards the briefcase storage room, she turned towards Five. "The briefcase is no longer part of your kit. Free your mind." She placed an arm around his shoulder, making sure to make eye contact with me as she uttered his name. "You're management now, Five."

She smirked at my expression. "One of us."

Before going up another flight of stairs, she paused and turned on her heels to face me properly, Five following her actions to meet my stare with his stern one.

"Since I'll be showing Five where he'll be working among the case managers, you're no longer needed." She said, looking me up and down. "Wait in my office so we can discuss the details concerning your return."

And with that, the two left without a second glance- well, I didn't miss the way the boy gave me a strange look before joining the Handler. He was clearly trying to communicate something but it'd take a lot more than an odd glance to crack through the resentment clouding my eyes and better judgement.

Maybe that's why I did what I did the moment I was no longer shadowed by their presence.

Was what I was about to do a good idea? No.

No, it was not.

But I was going to do it anyway.

Without a second thought, I rushed towards the direction of the Handlers office, receiving odd glances from analysts after practically witnessing some random teenager sprint through the hallways. I quickly entered, shutting the door behind me before I set my eyes on a painting opposite to where I stood.

The piece of art was breath taking. You could tell that every brush and stroke of the artists paintbrush was done so with delicacy and precision. Everything was perfect, from the swarms of dark red hues and smoky oranges, to the smallest spec of green that seemed insignificant when looking at the canvas up close. But when you take a step back to appreciate the big picture, you begin to appreciate the details that seem invisible to the naked eye.

You've always had a soft spot for art. Maybe that's why The Handler had chosen to place the very thing that could change the darkness of your fate into a bright one, within the hard work of another's.

You grabbed one of the knives strapped to your body and with a deep exhale, slashed vertically through the artwork you were admiring only a moment ago. The cut was swift and neat, revealing a small silver key dangling in the air with a piece of string through the key hole that was attached to the top of the canvas.

A dwindling smile began to tug at my lips as a familiar engraving of the letter 'J' caught my eye. I hurriedly snapped the rope and grabbed the key, holding it tightly in my palm as if it were going to disappear from my grasp if I loosened my grip.

As if the universe could read my mind, the door clicked open and locked shut, before a voice pierced through the air.

“It seems that the bloodhound has gnawed through her leash.” She spoke. “Again.”

I turned to face her. "One of the things you trained me in is debt collection." I replied, a tired grin on my face. "I'm just doing my job."

The Handler laughed, making my eyes narrow at the hollow sound leaving her lips. She reached for a pocket watch on her desk and snapped it open. "I'm sorry to inform you, dear, but the deadline's not up yet." It snapped shut.

"Now," The woman sighed as she gracefully sat on her chair, holding a pipe between her fingers and crossing her legs. "be a good girl and give me the key so we can get on with--."

"No."

Silence

The Handler cocked her head to the side and exhaled a puff of smoke. An exasperated burst of a chuckle escaped her lips and I watched the way she poked her tongue against the inside of her cheek. “I’m not sure I heard you right. What was it you said?”

“I thought I made it clear.” I sneered. “No.”

The next few moments were like watching a snake shed its skin and bare its fangs. The women in front of me was ridding herself of the many faces she wore over her true one, finally confronting me with those same cold, ruthless eyes that had began this never ending hell, and the same lips that uttered the command that allowed for such pain to be inflicted on me all those years ago. In a place I held as my safe haven, nonetheless.

Forcing my expression to remain neutral, I spoke. “It’s refreshing to finally speak to the real deal instead of those millions of personas you’ve harboured over the years. It gets exhausting.”

The women stood, her floral dress flowing with her every movement before she finally towered in front of me. She licked her thumb and began rubbing something off my cheek in a rough manner- in a painful manner. Slim fingers danced across my youthful skin and curled around my jaw, angling my head to look up at her. The pads of her fingers made sure to hold me tightly in place, a way for her to declare her never ending control over me. "Such a pretty face." She cooed, "Such a shame you're not the obedient little thing I raised you to be."

I attempted to pull away from her grasp, only for it to tighten. My lips twisted into a scowl. "I was trained to kill. What, did you expect me to turn out like one of those little ‘50s housewives? Ever-so ignorant and docile?”

She smiled.

"You want to see Jasper?" Her voice was hushed, making sure not to break the suffocating pressure of power, and my lack of, she knew I was drowning in despite the best I did to not display a hint of it on my face. But I could never get anything past the woman in front of me. Now was no exception.

I didn't dare to respond no matter badly I wanted to scream 'yes'.

But she could read the desperation in my eyes and answered for me with her following actions.

After finally releasing her grip and holding out her palm for the key tightly held in my palm, I gave in and placed the precious metal back into her possession.

I followed the woman through the door and down the main corridor. My body tensed at the amount of peering eyes averting towards us but I couldn't dwell on the feeling for long as a new anxiety began to rise within me. It was unnatural, something I've never felt before. Sure, I was anxious and practically filled to the brim with stress like never before, but I felt something else too- hope.

I was going to see the very person I swore to protect after three years of not seeing him and I was closer to ending this chapter of my life.

Ever since I was forced to work with Five, The Handler had prevented me from seeing Jasper, in fears of me "getting distracted" and "not paying Five enough attention."

Three years she had kept me away.

Three fucking years.

Finally, the clack of her heels came to an abrupt stop and a familiar ding of an elevator rang. The doors opened.

"You're the first person to come down here that isn't an executive." The Handler lifted a plastic case with a biometric thumbprint scanner and pressed onto a button that sent us plummeting through the Commissions deep underground. "Except from darling Jasper, of course."

The doors finally opened to a corridor that looked identical to the one above surface. I walked quick behind The Handlers heels until she spun to face me.

My heart was beating faster than I thought it would've. The anticipation and suspense felt like a side affect of a drug. One that could only be cured if The Handler would open the large metal door that stood ahead of me so I could finally see those amber eyes that I'd only been able to stare at in my dreams.

The woman laughed mockingly at my expression. "It'd be cruel to make you wait any longer."

The sound of a key twisting and metal screeching open made my heart leap up into my throat and crash down into my stomach.

That's when I saw him.

Thick black curls, tired honey brown eyes, and full lips that I'd sometimes catch myself staring at for a beat too long.

"Jasper."

Thank you all for the supportive comments- I'm not able to respond to comments on this account but please know that I am reading ALL OF THEM <33 I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! After a little under a year, I am finally back and I've got a lot planned for this fic so stay tuned...

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[ru-fiction]

Unknown Territory

Five x Fem Reader

A combination of both the comics and the TV series, Five Mets a mermaid and falls in love. What happens when forces try to keep them apart?

Five will be aged up to 20 years old, I'm not writing any smut but I wanted him to be the age of his actor.

There will be themes of emotional and mental abuse of children, sexual themes, Incest, gore and violence in this story. You guys seen the show or read the comics, you know what I'm talking about.

Minors do not interact.

I don't own any characters in the show or comics. All credit goes to Gerald Way, Gabriel BÀ, and Steve Blackman.

Slow updates on this story, I wanna make sure I can make the comics and series flow together before posting chapters. Most of the chapters will most likely be long, sorry about that 😅

Main Cast

Five played by Aiden Gallagher ⏳

Y/n played by You. 🫧

Klaus played by Robert Sheehan 👻

Diego played by David Castañeda 🔪

Ben played by Justin H. Min 🐙

Vanya/Victor played by Elliot Page 🎻

Allison played by Emmy Raver-Lampman 🗣️

Luther played by Tom Hopper 💪🏻

Apocalypse Suite/Season 1

Chapter 1

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Chapter 2| *Part 2 |*Part 3

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Chapter 3 |*part 2, *part 3(Working on it)

[losers-clvb]

MASTERLIST

THE WIZARDING WORLD

one-shots

regrets // sirius black : post-azkaban!sirius black x female!reader, golden trio era, takes place during order of the phoenix

you’re pregnant with sirius’ child and the two of you are cooking dinner when buckbeak is mysteriously injured. against sirius’ wishes you attempt to help tend to the creature’s wound. whilst arguing with you to let him deal with it, buckbeak accidentally bucks up and you receive a gash in your arm. you run off in tears after sirius yells at you. that’s when sirius is called to the ministry to save harry, and though he tries to apologize when he leaves, you’re too stubborn to reply.

RED QUEEN

series

slow burn // lucas samos : lucas samos x nymph!female!reader, takes place from beginning of the book series until the end, not completed yet

y/n osanos was always going to be betrothed to another from a high house, but she never imagined it would be to lucas samos, a son of one of the most cruel of the silver houses. though she is kind to almost everyone she encounters, she can't feel anything but irritation towards her future husband.

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

one-shots

life and death // klaus hargreeves : klaus hargreeves x platonic!female!reader, takes place before series and slightly towards the middle of season one, coming soon

klaus' childhood best friend, who 'breathed life into everything she touched', had died a month after graduating high school and he is too afraid to see her so he is constantly drunk or high. when he finally sobers up to save the world, they meet again.

[sortofanobsession]

Will o’ the Wisp - Ch. 6 (Umbrella Academy WIP)

Author's note: Another chapter. Events of Episode 1x05 Number Five. A reminder I am not of Latin heritage and I haven't taken a Spanish course since 2008. So please forgive that aspect. I'm not trying to disrespect anyone, but it was requested. I don't focus on that aspect of the original request often, but I do remember it is there. Rough translations are at the end of the chapter. (I checked multiple translation websites not just google translate, ReversoDictionary is slowly becoming a favorite, I like their examples set up.)

So as it goes, Y/N = your name. Y/N/N = your nickname.  Reader pronouns She/Her.

Tag Requests are Open just message me.

Primary Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Female!Reader (Slow Burn)

Series/TUA Masterlist

Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 7

Word count: 4k+

Content Warning: Shooting, Gun Violence, Gunshot Wounds, Mentions of Death, Blood, Knives, Arguing, Sibling Rivalry, Guilt, Cussing/Swearing, Canon Typical Neglect, Manipulation, Violence, Angst, Drinking, Bar Fight

Chapter 6: Serious Discussions and Stakeouts 

“Piece of shit,” Diego spits out as he and Y/N get back to the boiler room.

Luther can tell something is very wrong by just looking at his siblings as they return. Diego seems livid, and the glow around their sister was basically broadcasting that something horrible had happened. Anxiety and sadness rolled off her in deep blue shades. So when Diego showed no sign of stopping. Luther knew he needed to step in.

“Do you have any idea what you just did?” Diego says just before Luther intercepts him in what is essentially a violent bear hug and lifts Diego off the ground. “No! Let me-” Diego fights in vain. Luther looks at his sister, a million questions in his head. She shakes her head, and it answers the most important ones. No, Klaus. Nothing good happened. Nothing helpful. Diego keeps fighting. “Get your ape hands off me!” The light around her pulses in intensity as it happens, but she knows stepping in might make things worse. 

“I can do this as long as it takes you to calm down,” Luther states.

“Diego…” she starts.

“Fine,” Diego relents.

“Now, wanna tell us what you’re talking about?”

“Our brother’s been pretty busy since he got back. He was in the middle of that shootout at Griddy’s, and then at Gimble Brothers, after the guys in masks attacked the Academy, looking for him,” Diego explains. 

“None of which is any of your concern,” Five says.

“Is now,” she says. 

“They just killed my friend,” Diego states. She knew that was an understatement, but he clearly didn’t want them to know more than that. He’s hurting, and she knows it. So she moves forward and puts a hand on his arm. Not sure if she is more trying to calm him or reassure herself that he is even somewhere near okay. 

“What did you bring back with you?” she says as she looks at Five.

“Who are they, Five?”

“They work for my former employer,” Five explains. “A woman called The Handler. She sent them to stop me. Then soon as Diego’s friend got in their way, well, fair game.” 

She is quick to put herself between Diego and their brothers. Her hand goes to his chest to get him to look at her. “I know,” she whispers to Diego. Then she does something she rarely does but knows it usually works with him. She uses the one thing they both have in common. Something he always saw at theirs. Their language. “Su culpa o no. Mantente enfocado.” He glances at her, a bit shocked, but he nods. He looks at her only for a second before his focus is back on Five.

“Now they’re my fair game,” Diego tells Five. “And I’m gonna see to it they pay.”

“That would be a mistake, Diego,” Five tells him. “They’ve killed people far more dangerous than you.” She feels him tense up under her hand, but neither moves. He glances at her again.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” Diego storms out. She thinks about following him but decides to give him a minute to himself. She looks from the door to Luther and Five. Luther looks at her with an odd look before he sighs and turns back to Five. 

“Former employer?” Luther asks. “What's this really about? And don't give me any of this ‘It's none of your business’ crap, all right?”

“Well, it's a long story.”

“You said you’d explain it all to me,” she insists. “I’ve done everything you asked of me. Long story or not, you owe me.”

“They turned me into the perfect instrument for the rehabilitation of the time continuum,” Five begins to explain. “Or ‘corrections,’ as they called them. I wasn't the only one. There are others like me. Beings out of time, fractured, extracted from the lives that they knew. I don't know how they got there. But I do know that none of them were as good as me. They didn't realize it, but I was biding my time, trying to figure out the right equation so I could get back. If I could just get back, I knew I could stop the apocalypse. Save the world. So I broke my contract.”

“So…you were a hitman?” Luther asks.

“Yes.” Five’s answer was simple and somewhat world-shattering to his siblings. 

“Wow,” she says. “You know they shot me, right?”

Five looks at her. He could vaguely remember one of them mentioning that while he was drunk.

She pulls her arm out of her jacket and angrily strips off the bandage, despite Luther trying to stop her. 

“Look at it!” she yells at Five. The skin around the neat row of stitches is angry and bruised. It’s unhealed and looks painful. “The only reason I’m not as dead as Detective Patch is that I shoved the barrel of the gun with a superheated fist, and it jammed after that shot because I damaged it.”

Luther sighs and takes the bandages that had been gripped tight in her hand, and rewraps her wound. “You need new bandages.”

“I’ll deal with it at the house.” She looks at Five. “You might think you are protecting us by not telling us these things, that they don't matter, but it just means we have no idea what we are up against, and someone else is going to end up dead. Klaus is missing. Patch is dead. Grace is gone. So you want to keep us from whatever fate you saw, then get your shit together and do what you asked me to do, trust each other. Trust me. Trust us. Now I’m going to find our angry vigilante brother before someone gets stabbed, and then I’m going to look for Klaus, my way.” She leaves, letting the door slam as she does. 

Luther finally asks the question that he has been wanting to ask. “A hitman, uh…I mean, you had a code, right?” You didn’t kill just anybody.”

“No code. We took out anyone who messed with the timeline.”

“What about innocent people?” 

“It was the only way I could get back here.”

“But that’s murder.”

“Jesus, Luther, grow up. We’re not kids anymore. There’s no such thing as good guys or bad guys. There’s just people goin’ about their lives. But when the world ends all those people die, including our family. Time changes everything.”

When she catches up with Diego as he staking out the donut shop. He doesn’t miss the way the Wisp seems to take on an intense energy beyond even its usual glow. He knew it was because Klaus was still nowhere to be found, even for her little lights. But the Wisp was crackling and buzzing, mirroring the way she can't seem to settle for long. Something he hadn't seen her do much of since they were kids, and Five failed to show back up for dinner. And the next dinner. Every dinner until a couple nights ago. Reginald had scolded her for making her anxieties so obvious for anyone to see. It was a weakness. One that Diego had wanted to stab the man for pointing out. How was pointing out she was scared or anxious going to help her be anything but more scared or anxious? Back then, he'd just tried to help the others distract her. When he was a dumb kid, sometimes that was done by pushing her buttons to piss her off. Make her less weak and more intimidating. In hindsight, that was absolutely the opposite of what she needed. 

“He’ll show up,” Diego assures her. “This is Klaus. He always comes crawling back to you.”

“This is different,” she admits. “You saw that motel room, and I can usually at least find him.”

“We’ll find him,” he insists. “We find the people that took him, that shot you, and we’ll get answers.” He doesn’t really want to think too hard about the fact that he had come close to losing her and Eudora in less than a day. Professional hitmen shot two of the only people he cares about, and Eudora is dead. He’s lucky to still have his sister with him. And she doesn’t even seem phased by it. She’s more worried about Klaus. He reaches over and finds her hand and squeezes it. “We will. You’ll see.”

They get back to the Academy, and Diego helps her change her bandages. They hear voices near their rooms. She checks it out with the Wisp.

“Klaus!” She shouts and runs to his room. She nearly tackles him in a hug. 

Klaus hugs her back and says to someone or something she couldn't see, "See, I knew Sunshine would care.”

“We were kind of in the middle of something, Y/N,” Five says. She glares at him but looks back to Klaus."I searched the whole damn city TWICE! When we found Patch and that awful room…I didn’t- What happened? Where were you?" A look of absolute confusion covers her face as she takes in his appearance. He looks different. She tries to find every little difference. "What- are you wearing?” She looks at the dog tags. “Who? Where-whatever," she waved all that off and hugs him again. "Don't scare me like that. I didn't think I'd ever see you again." 

"For a while, I wasn't sure you would either," Klaus states.

"Oh, Klaus," she hugs him tighter. 

“Klaus, where’s the briefcase?” 

“What briefcase?” she asks.

“Gone,” Klaus answers. “I destroyed it. Poof.”

“What the hell were you thinking?” Five gets angry.

“What do you care?” Klaus asks.

“What do I care? I needed it, you moron, so I could get back. I could start over.”

“Whoa, hey,” she tries but is ignored again.

“Just Just - Where you going?” 

“Interrogation's over. Just leave.”

“What a dick,” she mutters and looks back at Klaus. “I don’t know what he’s mad about, but you-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Klaus says, with a smile that is barely there and doesn’t reach his eyes. “I missed you, Sunshine.”

“Klaus,” her brows furrow in concern at his words, earning a sad chuckle from him.

“Not much light or good where I was, especially after…” his eyes get this far-off look to them, but he seems to shake himself. He gives her a kiss on the forehead. An action she genuinely is confused by. Unbeknownst to her, it was more Ben pushing Klaus not to scare her that made him do it. She stays with Klaus but uses the Wisp to check on Diego. When she notices he is leaving she goes after him. Klaus follows her.

“You look like shit,” Diego tells him. She rolls her eyes.

“Why, thank you,” Klaus replies.

“Where are you going?” she asks. 

“Yeah, where you going?” Klaus repeats. 

“Nope,” Diego says.

“What?” Klaus asks. 

“Diego,” she starts. 

“You need sleep,” he points at her and then at Klaus. “And I’m not giving you a ride.”

“Oh, come on, man,” Klaus says.

“I’m fine, and I barely even used my powers to find him. I’m going with you,” she says.

“He can drive himself,” Diego argues.

“He can’t drive,” she answers. “Please, Diego.”

Diego looks between the two, and of course, Diego caves. Klaus wonders when exactly that became a thing as he goes to get his things. Sure, the two weren’t trying to kill each other before, but he wasn’t gone that long for them. Diego knows it's not even worth arguing now. Not with the sad and desperate look on his sister’s face. She made him worry more about Klaus than he usually did. So he agrees. 

Both Y/N and Diego were weirded out by how quiet their brother was. She keeps sending them both worried looks. 

"You okay?" Diego asks their unusually silent brother. He doesn't get an answer. 

"Klaus?" She asks. He just shakes his head. 

"Wow, this is a first. Our brother Klaus is silent."

"Diego," she chides him. 

"Last time you were this quiet, we were 12."

She punches Diego in the arm, but it didn't deter him.

"Ran down the stairs wearing Grace's heels, tripped over, and broke your jaw. How long was it wired shut for?"

"Eight weeks," Klaus answers.

"Eight glorious weeks of bliss," Diego says.

"That's enough, Diego." She glares at him.

"Hey, just…just drop me off here."

"Klaus…" she starts.

"You sure you’re okay, man?" Diego asks him. Klaus just gets out of the car. 

"Was that necessary,” she says, her annoyance obvious in her tone. “Bringing that up? He is clearly in a bad state, and you just-"

"Are you going to keep lecturing, or are we going to go after him?" 

"You're an asshole," she says and gets out of the car and goes into the VFW after Klaus.

“Just go away, please,” Klaus tells them.

“You know I’m not going to do that,” she says.

“Not until you talk to us,” Diego states. 

“Is that a threat? You threatening me?” 

“Hey, guys. This bar? It's for vets only.”

“I am a vet,” Klaus says. 

“Really?” the guy chuckles. “Where'd you serve?”

“None of your business,” Klaus replies.

“You got balls comin' in here, pretendin' you're one of us.” The guy says.

“Oh, I have every right to be here, just like you.”

“Asshole.”

Diego steps in to try and prevent a fight. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.”

“Klaus, I need you to talk to me,” his sister says. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“I did serve, Sunshine,” Klaus shows her the dog tags, and despite her confusion, she nods. 

“Okay, that’s-” She starts to say they’d talk about that in the car, but she sees Diego trying to keep things from completely going to shit. 

Klaus goes to drink more. 

“Klaus,” she grabs his arm.

“Slow down, Marine.” Diego tries to help defuse the situation with one of the bar’s patrons. “Alright, my brother's just had a few too many. Let's just call it a day; all go our own way.”

“Sure thing,” the guy says.

“Thank you,” Diego says. “Klaus-”

“As long as you apologize,” the guy says. 

Klaus giggles. Y/N physically winces. 

“Fine.”

“I'm sorry,” Diego says. “He's sorry. We're all sorry.” She nods. “So, are we good?”

“I wanna hear him say it,” the guy says, gesturing to Klaus.

“Hey, man, I'm just trying to -” Diego starts, but Klaus cuts him off. 

“No, no,” Klaus says. He pulls his sister’s hand off of his arm and walks towards the man. “He's right, Diego.”

“Oh, no,” she murmurs to herself. She knows that tone. She could feel everything was about to go sideways.

“He's right,” Klaus repeats. “He's right.” Y/N looks at Diego, her eyes wide as Klaus adds, “I'd like to apologize that you are depriving some village of their idiot!”

Diego shouts as a fight breaks out. 

“Don’t even think about it!” Diego shouts at her, but she ignores him and joins the scuffle. A guy goes to grab her, and without hesitation, Diego throws a knife. “Touch her, and I’ll end you.” She rolls her eyes but doesn’t argue. 

It ends with all of them being thrown out.  Klaus laughs when they finally get back in the car and head to where Diego had wanted to go in the first place. To stake out the Donut shop. 

“You got a big mouth. You know that?” Diego tells Klaus. 

“Oh, wow. What a truly shocking revelation, Diego.”

“Everything's a big joke to you, right?” Diego says. “Will you-stop it-” Diego takes the rest of Klaus’ stash from him. “Why are you putting this shit in your body?"

Klaus blows a raspberry at him. “Hey, Sunshine, what do you think?” he shows her his newest tattoo, a military one.

“Klaus…” she starts.

“Check this out.” Diego pulls up his shirt and pats his own abs. “My body is a temple.” Y/N can’t help but snort out a laugh. Diego glares at her but continues. 

“All that shit you do,” Diego says, “it's just weakness.”

“Oh, wow,” Klaus replies, “Well, weakness feels so good.”

“What's goin' on with you? Huh?” Diego asks, starting to really lose his patience.

“Diego,” She cautions. The glimmer that always surrounds her seems to hum along with its usual melancholic hue. Both her brothers know it means she’s worried if either one was paying attention. “Please don’t-” 

“Don't hit me, asshole!”

“Guys!” she shouts, but they ignore her. 

“Don't tell me everything is all right because I saw you in there. You were crying like a baby!”

“DIEGO!” she wants to slap him. A spark of red light flashes, but it settles almost as fast. It turns deep blue, as Klaus explains.  

“Because I lost someone!” Klaus sighs. “I lost someone. The only…” he sighs again. “The only person I've ever truly loved more than myself. Cheers.” He puts a pill in his mouth.

“Well, you're luckier than most,” Diego tells him. “When you lose someone, at least you can see them whenever you want.” 

“I know it hurts, Klaus,” she says. “But you can talk to us. You can talk to me. You know I’m always going to have your back.”

“You really were going to fight that guy, not even with your powers,” Klaus says. “Just going to jump right in.”

“If someone hadn’t stopped me,” she says, glaring at Diego. 

“He was twice your size, you weren’t using your powers, and you're still injured,” Diego states.

“You’d still be mad if I had used them,” she argues. “And I’m fine, Diego.”

Earning a chuckle from Klaus. “She’s right. You’d be pissed either way.”

“Because you started a bar fight in a room of guys that fought for a living.”

"Fine, I'll ask," Klaus mumbles. His sister and brother share a confused glance before Klaus looks over at her. "You're injured?"

"Yeah, she got shot by those psychos that took you."

"They shot you?" Something in Klaus's tone and the way he starts moving closer and reaching out for her has Diego on edge. And she looks between the two, alarm clear in her eyes and the glow around her. Klaus grips her arm a bit too tight in the process. "Where? Is it-" 

"Whoa, Klaus, buddy," Diego goes to stop him, but their sister shakes her head. She manages to pry his hand off her and cups them between her own.

"Diego has been exaggerating the whole thing since it happened." She ignores the grunt of protest from said man. "I needed a few stitches, but it's nothing major." She pulled her jacket off and her shirt sleeve up. Ignoring a glare from Diego as she undid the bandage to show Klaus she really was fine. It looked as bad as it had before, but it was taken care of and on the way to healing. Or it would be if she left it wrapped. Something in her broke at the way Klaus seemed to study her carefully before finally relaxing. 

"You really went through some shit, didn't you?” Diego asks his brother before rolling his eyes and swatting Y/N's hand away from where she was trying to keep her sleeve up and replace the bandage single-handedly. 

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you," Klaus states. "Try not to get shot again. Okay, Sunshine? I don't need any more ghosts."

"Going to take a lot more than some loony toons in masks to end us, Klaus," she assures him.

"Good."

"And next time I see them, I'm putting Wisp's fist through an eye socket and will boil their brains inside their own skulls," she states. "What?" She asks when Diego stares at her with abject horror on his face. 

"That's dark," Klaus chuckles, "Especially for you, Sunshine."

"Well, they tried to take not one but two brothers from me, shot up the academy, scared V, and dropped a chandelier on Luther."

"And shot you," Diego adds.

"That too. So I will not hesitate next time."

"You are scary now,” Klaus smirks. “And I kinda love that for you."

"Seriously?" Diego glares at Klaus. 

"What? You always thought she needed to be a better brawler. Well, here she is."

"Yeah, well,” Diego shook his head. “You didn't have to see it."

"I would pay to," Klaus admits.

"Klaus!" Diego glares at him

"What?” Klaus looks at him like her boiling someone's brain is the most logical action possible in their situation. “She'd kill for me. Am I not supposed to find that sweet?"

"Sometimes I forget how insane this family is, even for like half a second."

“That's our man,” Diego says as they see Hazel getting into his car.

“Hey, I know that guy,” Klaus states.

“What?” Y/N stares at him.

“How could you possibly know that?” Diego asks.

“He and a really angry lady tortured me,” Klaus informs them. “I barely got out with my life.”

Diego starts the car and follows him.

“We gotta get this guy.”

“Stay in the car,” Diego tells them once they get to the motel.

“What are you talking about,” Klaus argues. “This guy tortured me!”

“I have a plan,” Diego says and gets out of the car.

“Well, that plan better include me,” she tells him as she gets out.

“It does not, so you stay here.”

“It’s cute you think that will even remotely work,” Klaus says from the car. “Especially on Sunshine.”

He doesn’t even bother with a response, just walks toward the motel stairs.

“How long should we let him think he’s getting his way?”

“15 more seconds? Yeah?” She says.

“Works for me,” Klaus nods and gets out of the car.

“So what exactly is the plan here, big guy?” Klaus says as he walks up behind Diego, just as Diego moves to rush the noisy motel room.

“I told you to wait in the car,” Diego complains, not even bothering to look back. He shakes his head when he hears his sister laugh.

“Yeah,” Klaus states. “But you also told me that licking a nine-volt battery would give me pubes.”

“We were eight,” Diego counters. 

“You believed him, even when I told you he was being a jerk,” Y/N shakes her head. Diego glares at them.

“What?” Klaus says. “Come on.”

“For once, I need you to listen to me, okay?”

“Yeah, right,” she shakes her head. 

Diego continues. “Now, go back to the car. If I don't come out in two minutes, that means I'm probably dead.”

“Not happening,” she states.

“That happens. Go get help,” Diego says.

She stands in front of him. “Hi, I’m help and I’m already here.”

“Then stay here,” he says.

“Just let me-” he is already heading into the motel room before she can offer to do it her way.

A car speeds past and gunshots ring out. Diego shouts. Klaus pulls Diego back almost on instinct, but a bullet pierces Diego's arm. 

“Oh man,” Klaus says as Diego attempts to catch his breath. “See? You used to think I was an idiot.”

“I still think you’re an idiot,” Diego replies.

“You’re both idiots.” She uses the Wisp to make sure the coast is clear, including the motel room, and ushers them both to the car. But the car is useless. 

“Was this all part of your master plan?” Klaus snarks.

“Shut up,” Diego glares. 

She curses their luck in multiple languages before turning back to Diego to get a better look at his arm. Part of her wants to find them and follow them with the Wisp. She wants to make good on the threat of boiling their brains. But she needs to prioritize. She can find them later. Now, she needs to take care of her brother’s bleeding arm. 

"Oh yay, now we have matching gunshot wounds," she grumbles. She takes one of his knives, and despite his protest, she cuts his sleeve. He won't admit it out loud, but that distracted him for a moment longer than it should have, especially as he watches her flex her fingers. Her eyes glow as she heats her hand, and he shakes his head and focuses. 

“Get it over with,” he grits out. 

“Don’t rush me,” she says. “Gonna have my pretty li’l handprint forever on your arm soon enough. Just give me a second.” She looks up from his wound to meet his eyes. “You might want to bite down on something.” When he doesn’t, she rolls her glowing eyes. “Fine, but don’t blame me if you crack a tooth.” She clamps her hand down on the wound, her fingers curling around to make sure it covers. Her unheated hand moves to his neck to keep him from moving too much. She can feel his muscles go tight and the way his body fights her. Klaus helps hold him still. She shakes the heat out of her hand when its done. 

“Breathe,” she tells him. Her now cooled hand moved to the side of his face, brushing away tears she knows are there because of how much it hurt when she does that. “Stay with me. Okay? We need you.” He nods, dropping his forehead to hers.   

 Y/N cannot believe she let them talk her into this. She braces herself as Klaus drives the ice cream truck faster than it is most likely supposed to go. She tries not to think about the fact she is literally sitting in an injured Diego’s lap. His uninjured arm grips her tight. She just keeps mentally repeating that she loves her brothers and this is for the best. She superheats her grip and digs her fingers into the panel in front of them as she braces as they hit Hazel and Cha-Cha’s car. She is on her feet and pulling Diego after her as soon as the vehicle stops. 

“Five!” Luther calls out for Five. 

“You still with me?” She asks Diego as they stumble out of the truck.

“My shoes hurt,” he answers. She looks up and meets Klaus’ gaze. Luther rushes over to them to try and get them out of harm's way. 

“What the hell are you guys doing here?” Luther asks.

She scans the area with the Wisp as they hurry to the car. “Five isn’t here. We need to go, now!” she shouts to them.   

“Luther, go!” Klaus shouts. “Go!” They make as quick a getaway as the old car can handle. 

In the car, she looks at Diego. “You still with me?”

“Claro que sí,” he says.

“Siga siendo así.” She grins.

Translations:

"Su culpa o no. Mantente enfocado" His fault (or guilt) or not. Stay focused.

“Claro que sí." Yes, of course.

“Siga siendo así.” Keep it that way.

[total-lunareclipse4]

🌜I know you better than anyone🌛

pairing: five hargreeves x female reader

summary: it’s been a long time since you last saw Five. due to your nieces’s birthday party, you’re forced to face him again. you can’t help but be surprised when instead of being met with hate, you realize the only thing he wants to do is help you.

genre: angst with a happy ending!

warnings: manipulation? cursing perhaps. nothing major

word count: 4k

notes: this is a little bit based on the gilmore girls scene in which jess confronts rory for dropping out of yale. i saw someone use that audio for a tiktok pov and wrote this. here’s the link to that.

It had been twenty minutes already. Two cars had tried to take your spot during that time and you’d had to awkwardly let them know that you were not leaving. You tried to do a couple of breathing exercises you vaguely remembered Klaus teaching you at some point, but this was something that could not be solved by just taking a few deep breaths in and out. After a couple more minutes had gone by, you decided it was time to put on your big girl pants and get the evening over with. 

You got out of your car and opened up the trunk to pull out the gift. Needing both hands to carry it, you struggled a little bit to get it inside. The sound of screaming children filled up your ears, and you could not think of a worse place to be at right now. You spotted a few familiar faces and decided to make your way over there. After having taken a few steps, you tripped over a plastic ball from the ball pit you’d failed to notice and began stumbling as you tried to regain your balance. Mentally having prepared for the fall, you were surprised when it never came. Instead, a firm pair of hands managed to catch you, one of them holding you by the back of your head and the other pressing against the lower part of your back. 

“You okay there?” He asked. 

You’d known he would be here, but you certainly did not expect him to be the first person you encountered at your niece’s birthday party. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” The uncomfortable silence was soon to settle in, and you had to fight back the urge to run back to your car. 

Luckily, your attention was caught by the birthday girl herself sprinting towards you after noticing you had arrived. 

“Auntie!” Grace yelled, her arms open waiting for you to hug her. You got down on your knees after setting the gift next to a nearby table and embraced the little girl tightly. 

“Happy Birthday, Gracie,” you spoke next to the girl’s ear, kissing the top of her head before standing back up to retrieve the big box. 

“Is that for me?” she inquired excitedly as her eyes rested upon the gift. 

“Of course it’s for you! I think you’re gonna like it a lot.” You winked at her. 

“Do you want some help taking it over to the gifts table?” The man who’d saved you from falling asked. 

Before you had the chance to answer, Grace seemed to realize something and interrupted you. 

“Look Uncle Five, she’s here!” You were a little confused by the statement, given that Five had been standing there the whole time, so it was obvious he knew you were there. However, you figured your niece was just excited about your presence and wanted everybody to know about it. 

“Yes Grace, I see her.” Five replied. Based on his tone and demeanor you would’ve guessed he was embarrassed by the situation. But that didn’t make any sense to you. 

The little girl turned to you and signaled for you to get on your knees again. Following suit, she cupped her hands and held them to her mouth before getting closer to your ear. 

“Uncle Five was asking about you a lot before you got here,” she whispered. Your eyes instantly went to meet Five’s, and by the look on his face you could tell he had some idea of what Grace was telling you. 

“I uhm, I’m gonna go get a soda,” he said before walking away. You felt utterly confused by his attitude, not understanding why he was acting the way he was. Why had he been asking about you? Based on the last time you two saw each other, his current actions were nonsensical. 

Puzzled but not really being able to do much about the situation, you hugged the little girl once more and went over to the gifts table to leave the heavy box you had been carrying. From behind you, you recognized the voice of the reason why you were even here in the first place.

“That better not be another one of those loud ass toys that lights up and blasts up annoying music.” 

You turned around and smiled at the man before you. 

“No, this one just barks and shits.” 

You enjoyed watching as the color got drained from his face by your response. 

“You didn’t,” he said, more of a threat than anything else. You laughed, giving yourself away.

“No, I didn’t. Lila said no dogs. She doesn’t wanna be juggling three kids and a puppy.”

Diego let out a sigh of relief, “Good, I did not want to have that fight today.” He gave you a smile and a quick hug to welcome you. 

“It’s been a while,” he said. 

“It hasn’t been that long, we saw each other for the twins' recital.” You knew he didn’t mean it as a personal attack, but you couldn’t help but feel bad by what he’d said. You tried to be there as much as possible for your family, but things were different now. 

“Yeah, that was two months ago!” He laughed, but you knew he didn’t find the situation funny, he was just trying not to come off too harshly. 

“I’m sorry.” You shrugged. 

He noticed the hint of sadness in your eyes and his own expression softened. 

“It’s fine, I wish we saw each other more often but we all understand.” You chuckled a little at his lie. Certainly they didn’t all understand. 

“You have no idea how much I wish that were true.” You were both quiet for a minute, mutual understanding flowing between the two. 

“His hair’s gotten longer,” you spoke, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah, he’s become more of an asshole also.” You both laughed. Diego moved closer to you and gave you a half hug. 

“It’s going to be fine. Give it time and you’ll see.” You closed your eyes and let yourself give into his embrace. You doubted time would be able to solve anything, but it didn’t hurt to hope. 

…

You didn’t speak to Five again for the rest of the evening. You’d caught him looking at you from a distance a couple of times, but you hadn’t been able to look at him back. After cake, you made the round of goodbyes and left the building before he got the idea of speaking to you. Back in the safety of your car, the tears came rolling down your face before you could do anything to stop them. The memories of your last encounter with Five came flooding back, and all of those times you had repressed them only worked to make them stronger now. 

You had just gotten out of the shower, which you had cut short after the hot water had run out. You got dressed quickly and cursed at yourself for choosing such a cheap place to stay at. It would not surprise you to find all kinds of stains if you were to use a UV light in this room. Repulsed by the thought, you grabbed your toothbrush with the intention of cleaning your teeth when you heard a loud persistent knock on the door. You were reluctant to open up at first, but when the knocking didn’t stop, you figured it was the only way to get them to stop knocking. 

Grabbing one of your knives, you made your way to the door and through the peephole noticed who the person on the other end was. You unlocked the entrance and allowed him to come inside. 

He looked agitated, his brows furrowed in a prominent frown. His hair was all over the place, drastically different to how it usually looked. 

“So, you weren’t going to tell me that you were leaving?” Of course you hadn’t told him, you knew this was exactly what he would’ve done if you’d told him.

“I knew you would try to stop me,” you spoke softly, not wanting him to get any more agitated than he already was. 

“What kind of idiotic response is that? Of course I would’ve tried to stop you.” His words stung.

“I can’t do this right now, Five. I’ve already made up my mind and I’m at peace with my choice.” You tried to sound as convincing as possible. 

“It’s a stupid decision you’re making and I’m not gonna stand here and let you make it.” 

“It’s already done, there’s nothing I can do about it,” you felt your voice getting weaker, but you didn’t want to break in front of him. 

“Of course there is, I’ll help you get out of it. I’ve done it before.” He didn’t understand any of it, and he could certainly not fix it either. 

“Five…” you began. 

“Look, I know you, I know you better than anyone. This isn’t you.” Of course he was right, but you couldn’t admit that to him. Instead, you chose to remain quiet.

“What are you doing? Living at this cheap motel, working for The Commission, leaving us behind- why did you leave me behind?” He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze at the moment. You knew that what had hurt him the most is that you hadn’t told him you were leaving. You hadn’t come to him to let him know you were going back to the place you both had tried so hard to escape from in the first place.

“It’s.. complicated,” you said. 

“It’s not! It’s not complicated,” he yelled. 

“You don’t know!” You wished you could explain it all to him, but he couldn’t know the truth. 

“This isn’t you! This- you going back to working for The Handler. We did the impossible to get away from her.”

“She’s not the same woman she once was…” You tried to defend her, not even believing it yourself. 

He ran his hand through his hair with anger, frustrated by your answers. 

“This isn’t about her, screw her! What’s going on with you? This isn’t you, you know it isn’t. What’s going on?” He walked closer to you, watching you intensely. 

“I don’t know,” you admitted. 

“Come home. To hell with all of this! Just- just come home.” He took your hands in his, silently pleading with you. 

Knowing there was only one way out of this, you decided you had to do this in order to keep him and the rest safe. 

“Home? What exactly is home? This is your family you keep talking about, not mine. The Handler is the one who took me in and gave me a place to live when no one else would. Grow up Five! You think this is how I wanna spend the rest of my days? In this fucked up timeline where we don’t even have our powers?  No way I’m staying here, so I would appreciate it if you stopped claiming to know better than me and left me alone for once.” You broke your hands free from his hold and walked to the entrance to hold the door open for him. He hesitated for a few moments before following you to the door. 

“So what? You and I- none of it matters anymore? You’re just choosing to throw it all away?”

“This has nothing to do with us, nothing to do with you. I can’t always put you above everything else.” Knowing that was exactly what you were doing was the worst part of this. 

“I always have,” he said, sounding defeated.

“Well I guess that’s the difference between you and I.” You put the last nail on the coffin.

With that, Five left the room and stood in the hall. 

“When you regret this, and you will regret this, don’t come crawling back to me or my family,” he said before walking away. Based on his words, you knew you’d managed to hurt him a great deal. He was not going to come back now, which both relieved you and made you want to crawl into your bed and cry for hours on end. 

That was the last time you had seen Five before today.

A couple of years after The Handler had taken Lila in, she found you under similar circumstances and chose to raise you as well. The two of you grew up as sisters, carrying out all sorts of missions for the woman you learnt to call mother. Soon, your power began showing and you realized you had been blessed with time control, which came in handy as it meant you didn’t need to use a briefcase for your line of work. One day, you’d chosen to visit the world post-apocalypse, something you knew your mother would never approve of. As you walked through the ruins of what used to be planet Earth, you noticed there was someone else here with you. At first, you thought it must be someone from The Commission, as any other answer was simply not possible. However, upon closer inspection, you realized he wasn’t someone who you’d seen before. That was the first time you’d met Five, and after almost being shot by him, you managed to strike a conversation with him. Soon, you two became close, and after a couple of times of visiting him, you decided to bring him back to the headquarters, risking your mother’s rage. 

She wasn’t thrilled about it at first, and threatened you in multiple ways after finding out what you had done. But after watching Five successfully accomplish his first mission, she allowed him to stay. When you’d met him, he’d confessed to having spent six years already surviving on his own, and you could only imagine how much longer he would’ve spent there if you hadn’t found him. 

He also told you about his family and how he wished he could get back to them, which is how he slowly began convincing you to help him out. It wasn’t easy, as you hadn’t been on board with the idea in the beginning, but after working together and earning each other’s trust, you had agreed to help him. 

You sneaked out one day and left alongside Five to get him back to his family. That was the first time they failed to stop the apocalypse. The second time, Lila was involved, and after getting over her initial anger at you for leaving her behind, she joined you and the others. 

You thought you had managed to leave the life you had once led behind. That you were safe now with Five and your newly found family. However, you were proven wrong when one day, The Handler appeared inside your own home, sitting on your couch. 

“Long time no see.” Her voice made your blood go ice cold. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Is that the proper way to greet your mother?”

“What do you want?” You insisted. 

“You didn’t think I would seriously allow you to walk out with two of my best agents, now did you? I would’ve thought I raised you to be smarter than that.” You knew at that moment that whatever this was, it wasn’t going to end well for you. 

“I didn’t take anyone with me, they chose to leave on their own.” You clenched your fists, ready for whatever was about to go down.

“Well, in that case then I think I’ll just go then. Thanks for clearing that up.” She stood up and prepared to leave, but you knew it was not going to be this easy. Right on cue, she turned towards you and spoke again.

“Before I leave though, I thought you should know I have agents right now placed all over to take shots at that precious little family of yours.” Your jaw clenched. 

“I don’t believe you.” 

She smiled at you, “That is up to you, sweetheart, but do you really want to risk baby Grace taking a shot to the head because her aunt didn’t do anything to protect her?” You wanted to strangle her, but you knew that wasn’t going to fix anything. 

“What do you want?” You asked for a second time. 

She faked thinking about it for a second, as if she didn’t already know exactly what she wanted from you. 

“I want you to come back to work for me. I want you to do it today without telling anyone, especially that little special friend of yours.”

“Who? Five?” You didn’t like that she was paying special attention to him during this conversation. 

“Bingo! You speak a word of this to him and he gets a bullet in the brain. And now that he doesn’t seem to have his powers anymore, don’t think he’s gonna be able to get out of this unharmed.” You felt shivers run down your whole body at the thought. 

“What do you even gain from this? I can’t even travel through time anymore, I’m useless to you without my powers.” You didn’t understand why she’d want you back specifically. Both Lila and Five were far more skilled than you. 

“You need to learn there are consequences to your own actions. This is your consequence.” You could hear the satisfaction in her voice.

“There’s a briefcase waiting for you at this address. Don’t be late, your first assignment is tomorrow morning.” She handed you a piece of paper you shoved into your pocket, knowing there was no way out of this. Maybe, if you all had your powers, you could figure out a solution, but in the state you were all in, the only way to keep everybody safe was to do what The Handler wanted you to do. You could already feel your heart breaking, hating her even more for doing this to you. 

…

You jumped when you heard a knock on the window of your car, being too lost in thought to notice someone had been approaching you. You quickly wiped your tears with the back of your hand and tried to look presentable before rolling down the window. 

“You left without having any cake.” Five was standing outside your car, two paper plates with servings of chocolate cake on them. 

“I needed to get back to work,” you lied, hoping he would leave you alone. 

“Well, I’ve been watching you sit in your car ever since you left so I’m not buying that.” Of course he’d been watching you cry pathetically all this time. 

“Open up?” he requested. Knowing that he wasn’t going to leave until he got what he wanted, you unlocked the doors and allowed him to get into the passenger seat. He handed you one of the plates and you rested it on your lap, knowing you weren’t going to be able to eat it without making yourself sick given the situation you were in.  

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he blurted out. You opened up your mouth to deny it but he beat you to it. 

“Don’t try to deny it. For the past year everytime you find out I’m gonna be somewhere you suddenly have to cancel. Happened with Claire’s science fair, happened with Luther’s barbeque and it happened with Grace’s play,” he listed. Of course he was right, but you weren’t going to admit that to him. 

“I’ve just been very busy,” you said. 

“Why didn’t you want to see me?” His question took you by surprise. You thought that after your last conversation he was the one that wouldn't want to see you again.

“I think it’s best if we keep our distance from one another.”  

He looked taken aback, hurt, even. Great, you were causing even more damage now. 

“Best? Best for who? You or me?” 

“You said not to come back looking for you.” You didn’t want to throw in his face the words he’d spoken in a moment of anger, but you needed an excuse to get out of this. 

“You and I both know I didn’t mean any of that. I was angry that you were choosing to leave, but I didn’t want things to end up like this. I’m sorry.” He stared at his plate, toying with the fork. You could only imagine he couldn’t stomach taking a bite as well. 

“Things are complicated, Five. This is how they need to be.” 

“Then explain them to me. I’m not an idiot, I know you’re doing this under some sort of manipulation from The Handler, I just can’t figure out what she has on you that made you go back.” He stopped staring at his cake to shift his gaze towards your face. He looked broken, almost as broken as you. 

“I can’t- I can’t tell you anything.” You knew that by saying that you were admitting to not doing things freely, but you hoped it would be enough to get him to understand your motives.

“Whatever it is, I can help. You need to trust me.” 

“How will you help me? What would you do if she sent people here to kill you? How are you going to defend yourself?” You were growing more agitated. 

“Is that what this is about? She’s threatened to hurt me?” You stayed quiet, giving him the confirmation that he needed. 

“I can take care of myself, or are you forgetting that I managed to survive years on my own in a post-apocalyptic world? None of that had anything to do with my powers. I understand that you’re scared, but that’s what we’re here for.”

He always oversimplified things. Made it seem as if you were the one exaggerating, as if he could just make everything better. 

“Maybe you can take care of yourself, but what about the kids? What about Klaus? Have you seen him lately?”

He chuckled at your words, lightening up the mood.

“Okay, maybe you’re right, but you should’ve come to me first with all of this. I’ve been taking care of my family for years, and will continue to do so considering how stupid they constantly prove to be.” 

It was your turn to chuckle now. 

“I promise you we’ll figure something out together. Key word being together.” He took one of your hands in his. 

“I’m not gonna let you continue to deal with this on your own.” He looked determined to keep his promise, which is why you allowed yourself to feel a glimmer of hope. 

“If something were to happen to any of them, then it would be on me,” you said, staring at your lap in shame. 

He used his free hand to cup your cheek and force you to look at him.

“Nothing’s going to happen. We’ve survived worse. And if something were to happen, it wouldn’t be your fault. None of this is your fault,” he reassured you. 

“Please trust me, love,” he said, the nickname slipping out, taking you back to better times, easier times. 

“I really want to,” you admitted, tears welling up in your eyes. 

“Then do.” He moved closer to you, letting go of your hand to grab your face with both of his hands. He put his forehead to yours and allowed you to stay like that for a second. 

“I don’t think I can tolerate losing you a second time,” he whispered against your lips. 

“You won’t,” you whispered back. 

Soon, his lips were against yours, falling back into routine as if nothing had happened between you two. One of his hands moved to your waist, tightening his grip on you. The kiss turned more intense as he began moving with more force, showing you how much he’d missed you. Your hand got lost in his hair, enjoying the new length. He pulled away and smiled against your lips.

“I missed you so much,” he said. You shared the feeling, regretting how you’d chosen to handle things. There was a lot at stake, a lot you needed to figure out, but what mattered is that you would do that together. No matter what happened from now on, you had each other to fall back onto.

[nickeverdeen]

Hi could you do a five hargreeves x female!reader where reader is normal and doesn't have powers but she's a genius and basically has a photographic memory, and she meets five and he's a bit mean and snarky but eventually he starts to fall for her

I also think it would be funny if she was kinda best friends with Klaus and he kinda teases her about five, but you don't have to include that

Guns And Brains | Five Hargreeves x genius fem!reader

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x fem!reader, Klaus Hargreeves x fem!reader (best friend)

Warning: None

PS: Sorry for the unoriginal title

———————————

You were used to being the smartest person in the room. It wasn’t arrogance; it was simply a fact. Your photographic memory allowed you to absorb and recall information with an almost eerie accuracy. In school, you never needed to study, and in life, you rarely encountered a problem you couldn’t solve. You had grown accustomed to the bemused looks and occasional irritation that came from people who found your talents either intimidating or annoying.

Yet here you are, standing in the middle of an ancient-looking mansion, face-to-face with a boy who exuded an air of superiority that rubbed you entirely the wrong way. Five Hargreeves—if you remembered correctly from the vague mentions in tabloids about the dysfunctional Umbrella Academy—was a strange, prodigious enigma. He looked like a teenager, but there was something in his eyes that suggested he was anything but.

From the moment Klaus had introduced you, you could sense the tension brewing. It wasn’t just the way Five had narrowed his eyes at you, or the clipped tone he used when addressing you. It was the challenge in his gaze, the unspoken assertion that he was smarter, quicker, better. The way he practically dared you to prove him wrong.

“Who’s this?” Five had asked, his tone flat and disinterested, as if your presence was more of an inconvenience than anything else.

“This is Y/N,” Klaus had said cheerfully, apparently oblivious to the storm clouds brewing between them. “She’s got a brain like a supercomputer—remember everything she’s ever read, seen, or heard. Thought she might be able to help us out.”

Five’s eyes had flickered with something—annoyance, skepticism, you couldn’t quite tell. “We don’t need help,” he’d said brusquely. “Especially not from someone who thinks they can waltz in and solve problems that are far beyond their understanding.”

And there it was—the gauntlet thrown down. You had felt your spine stiffen, your own competitive streak flaring up in response. You didn’t like the way he assumed you were just some book-smart outsider with no practical experience, especially when he hadn’t even given you a chance to prove otherwise.

“I’m not here to solve your problems,” you replied, your tone sharp. “But from what I’ve heard, you could use all the help you can get.”

Klaus had tried to mediate, sensing the tension. “Alright, kids, play nice. We’re all on the same team here.”

But you had seen the look in Five’s eyes—a mix of condescension and irritation. He clearly didn’t think much of you, and that was something you weren’t about to let slide. If there was one thing you despised, it was being underestimated.

The first few days in the mansion were… interesting, to say the least. Klaus had introduced you to the rest of the siblings, all of whom had their own unique quirks and issues. Luther was stoic and serious, Allison was kind but guarded, Diego was intense, and Viktor was quiet, almost withdrawn. They were an odd bunch, but in some ways, you felt more at ease with them than you did with Five.

Five, on the other hand, seemed determined to make you feel unwelcome. Whenever you offered a suggestion, he’d shoot it down without a second thought. When you tried to engage him in a discussion about the theories he was working on, he’d dismiss your opinions with a wave of his hand, as if your thoughts were nothing more than background noise.

It was infuriating.

At first, you tried to stay calm. Your reminded yourself that you were here to help, not to butt heads with a stubborn man who had likely seen more in his lifetime than you could ever imagine. But as the days passed, you found your patience wearing thin.

The breaking point came one evening when you were all gathered around the dining table, discussing the latest anomaly that Five was trying to unravel. He was pacing back and forth, spouting off calculations and theories at a rapid pace. The others were listening intently, but you could see the confusion in their eyes.

“Maybe if we adjusted the parameters slightly,” you suggested, your tone measured, “we could account for the temporal flux and—”

Five cut you off with a snort. “That’s a ridiculous idea. Adjusting the parameters would only destabilize the entire equation. You clearly don’t understand the complexities of time travel.”

Your jaw clenched. “And you clearly don’t understand the value of listening to other people’s input. Just because you’ve traveled through time doesn’t mean you know everything.”

Five stopped pacing and turned to face you, his expression cold. “I’ve spent decades—decades—working on these equations. You’ve been here for a week. Don’t presume to know more than I do.”

The room went silent. The others exchanged uneasy glances, but you didn’t back down. You were tired of Five’s arrogance, tired of him treating you like you were some naive child who had wandered into his domain.

“Maybe I don’t know more than you,” you said, your voice steady. “But I’m not an idiot, and I’m not going to stand here and let you treat me like one. If you’re so confident in your theories, then why not test them? Or are you afraid that someone else might actually have a better idea?”

Five’s eyes narrowed. “Fine,” he said, his tone icy. “Let’s test it. And when it fails, you can stop wasting our time with your half-baked theories.”

You didn’t respond. You simply nodded and turned your attention back to the problem at hand, determined to prove him wrong.

The next few days were tense, to say the least. You and Five worked together, but it was clear that neither of you were happy about it. Every interaction was laced with sarcasm and thinly veiled insults. Yet, beneath the hostility, there was a grudging respect forming, though neither of you would admit it.

Despite his arrogance, you couldn’t help but be impressed by Five’s intellect. He was brilliant, there was no denying that. His mind worked at a speed that rivaled your own, and his knowledge of temporal mechanics was unmatched. But he was also infuriatingly stubborn, refusing to consider any idea that wasn’t his own.

For his part, Five found himself both annoyed and intrigued by you. You were smart—smarter than he’d initially given you credit for. Your insights were often sharp and on point, even if he was loath to admit it. But what bothered him the most was how you challenged him, pushing back against his authority in a way no one else dared to. It was unsettling, and yet… he found himself drawn to it.

One afternoon, as you were pouring over another set of calculations, you suddenly spoke up.

“I’ve been thinking,” you said, not looking up from the paper in front of you.

“Dangerous,” Five muttered under his breath, but there was no real bite to his words.

You ignored him. “You’re right about the temporal flux destabilizing if we adjust the parameters too much. But what if we didn’t adjust them directly? What if we introduced a stabilizing agent that could counterbalance the fluctuations?”

Five paused, considering your words. It wasn’t a completely ridiculous idea. In fact, it was… interesting. But he wasn’t about to let you know that.

“It’s a long shot,” he said instead, his tone dismissive.

“Maybe,” you conceded. “But it’s worth a try. Unless you have a better idea?”

Five scowled, but there was no real heat behind it. “Fine. We’ll try it your way. But don’t get used to it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” you replied, a small smirk playing on your lips.

As you worked together, there was a noticeable shift in the air between you two. The barbs were still there, but they were less sharp, the insults less cutting. It was as if you were beginning to acknowledge each other as equals—rivals, perhaps, but with a mutual respect that was slowly, begrudgingly, forming.

Weeks passed, and the initial tension between you and Five began to ease, replaced by a rhythm of sorts. You still bickered, still challenged each other at every turn, but there was a camaraderie in it now. A strange, twisted camaraderie, but camaraderie nonetheless.

The others noticed it too. Klaus, in particular, found endless amusement in your interactions, often teasing you about your “little crush” on Five.

“Admit it,” Klaus says with a grin. “You two are just one good argument away from kissing.”

You roll your eyes, brushing off his comments, but you couldn’t deny that there was a certain… tension between you and Five. Not that you would ever admit it out loud. The last thing you wanted was to give Five the satisfaction of knowing he got under your skin in more ways than one.

But the turning point came one evening, when you were working late in the mansion’s library. The room was dimly lit, the only sound the soft rustle of papers as you pored over your latest set of equations. You were focused, your mind fully absorbed in the problem at hand, when you felt a pair of eyes on you.

You looked up, only to find Five watching you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, neither of you spoke. There was something in his gaze, something that made your heart skip a beat.

“What?” You asked, your voice softer than you intended.

Five hesitated, as if weighing his words carefully. “You’re not as annoying as I thought you were.”

It wasn’t exactly a compliment, but coming from Five, it was close enough. You felt a small smile tug at your lips. “You’re not as unbearable as I thought you were either.”

Five’s lips quirked up in the faintest hint of a smile. “High praise.”

You fell into a comfortable silence after that, the tension between you two shifting into something else. Something neither of you were quite ready to name.

[miniy00ng1]

Not Yours pt.2

Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader

wc: 2239 (not proofread yet!)

warnings: swearing, fighting, lmk if i missed anything

find part one here my masterlist here

Hi lovelies! While writing I realized that this was going to be more than two parts like i had originally thought it would be. but regardless i hope you enjoy and don't forget to give me feedback! pls ignore and grammar errors! thank you <3

-------------------------------

“Welcome mi familia to my home away from home. My dearest Hotel Obsidian.” Klaus introduces, arms spread wide and breathing in the musty glory of the hotel. “Oh how I’ve missed her. Lookie who’s here! Mon frère Chet! How are you? We need your finest rooms good sir!” Chet places a sign on the table cash up front. The group of super siblings empty their pockets managing to gather enough for two rooms. 

“So what’s our next move you guys? Because the Sparrows can attack at any given moment. I know I would.” Diego asks, anxious to kick some more ass. Luther turns towards Diego, placing his hands on his shoulders, “Diego, just relax man. They’re not coming, they’re going to need a couple of days to recover with the way we left them.” “You really think so?” Diego asks hopefully, at this moment you peek around Luther’s body into Diego’s view and shake you head, sliding you thumb slowly across your neck. Five notices you trying to rile Diego up and drags you to the elevator.

“First, I get kidnapped. And now I have to bunk in the boys room. Just kill me now.” Y/N complains as she is forced into the room being shared between four men. “You can complain all you want Y/N, but I have to keep an eye on you, so deal with it.” Five huffs taking a seat on the lower bunk bed. You roll your eyes, “There are only four beds in here dipshit and five of us. Where the hell am I supposed to sleep?” Five smirks at you, putting his hands behind his head and fully reclining on the bed as you make a gagging sound.

The other three brothers enter the room shortly after and begin to discuss how there are now other versions of themselves out in the world. Your curiosity gets the best of you, “What was you guys’ version of me like? Everyone seems to like her so much better, she couldn’t have been that great.” The men all speak at once listing all of the good qualities other you had such as her kindness, or her mindfulness, or her hopefulness. You jokingly smile extra big and say, “Doesn’t she just sound like a ray of sunshine.” The rest of the night is uneventful as everyone is exhausted from the events that occurred earlier. 

That night, you end up taking the bottom bunk and Five sleeps on the floor next to it. The morning sun shines directly into eyes, disturbing your slumber. As you wake up and try to adjust your eyes, you feel a pressure on your hand. Lifting your head from the pillow, you glance over the edge of the bed and see a slumbering Five holding your hand–warmth spreads across your face. You quickly snatch your hand out of his grip, startling Five awake, he immediately scans the room for any threats. Five furrows his eyebrows once he makes eyes contact with you. No words are exchanged between the two of you as you get out of the bed and head towards the bathroom down the hall.

While freshening up in the bathroom, Y/N takes note of everyone in the restroom. There’s an elderly lady, a woman in her late 40s that looks like she’s done every drug on planet earth–twice, and a tan woman with a young boy standing behind her. The woman stares at you as if you’re familiar with one another. “What the hell are you looking at lady?” You says while drying your hands. The woman laughs in disbelief, “No fucking way.” You raise your eyebrows at the lady and exit the communal bathroom, startled to find Five dressed in a suit and waiting for you. “This entire hotel is full of freaks.”

The two of you take a seat at the table joining Klaus and Diego. The table covered in boxes of Chinese takeout, Five hands you a container and chopsticks, “Eat up, you must be starving.” You nod your head as a thank you and dig into the noodles. The siblings discuss their next course of action, if they have to fight the Sparrows to get the briefcase back or stay in the timeline. Across from you, something has caught Diego’s eye as he abruptly drops his food and rushes away from the table. You turn your body to see where he’s run off to and see Diego chasing the woman from the bathroom.

Diego returns to his seat five minutes later wih a young boy who claims to be his son. Not a single one of the Hargreeves at the table question the legitimacy of the relation. “So if you’re his dad..Is that blonde lady his mom?” You question, not seeing the resemblance at all. Diego nods in confirmation, “She claims he’s my son and that lady, is Lila. You two have met, she tried to murder us like two days ago.” “Two things Buddy. One, I am not your Y/N. And two, you’re an idiot. No wonder she tried to kill you.” You say, piecing the missing information together.

A short haired Vanya approaches the siblings. “Wow Vanya! I am loving the haircut! It really suits you!” Klaus calls out, admiring the new style. “Oh, it’s actually Viktor.” Viktor says awkwardly. The brothers glance at each other before Diego speaks up, “Who is?” “I am, always have been.” Viktor confirms. “Does anybody have a problem with that?” Everyone at the table shakes their head no and congratulates Viktor. “Look, I met with Marcus last night he agreed to give us the briefcase in exchange for Y/N. He says he doesn’t want to start a war.” You sit up straight at the mention of the trade.

Five’s face hardens at Viktor’s statement, “Absolutely not Viktor. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but this timeline in perfectly acceptable, there are no apocalypses or psychopaths coming after us. And last time I checked, you don’t speak for this family. There won’t be any unnecessary trades. Especially not if they include Y/N.” “You’re wrong Five. We don’t belong here. Allison is miserable, her own daughter doesn’t exist and you’re holding Y/N hostage just because she looks like your Y/N!” Viktor argues back. Five seethes in Viktor’s face, “I said no.” Five drags you off the chair forcing you to follow him. You hear footsteps chase after the two of you, “Five! Five wait up!” Five stops, still holding onto your wrist as Klaus catches up. “You two sure move quick for such little legs. Anywho…how would you two like to join me on a little roadtrip? We can relax and cruise the open road, it’ll be a grand ole time!” Five agrees to go with Klaus against your wishes.

Leaning against the car, you scan Five’s figure, “Like what you see?” Five says cockily, smiling at you. “That is the ugliest outfit I have ever seen. Genuinely, you should burn that for the sake of everyone else. And take that stupid hat off, you’re embarassing me. What did I ever see in you.” Five’s smile drops but before he can make a rebuttal Klaus skips over towards the car, “Let’s go bitches! This is going to be so much fun!” It was not fun by any means. Thirty minutes into the drive, Klaus and Five start arguing due to the fact that Klaus tricked Five into coming to meet his birth mother because he was scared to do it alone. 

“You were scared? So you brought me along like an emotional support schnauzer?” “I would say you’re more like a little cute, feisty chihuahua.” You say mindlessly. Five turns and glares at you, you’re certain he’s picturing murdering you in his mind. The fighting goes on for a little longer before the boys make up at the big ball of twine. Soon enough, you guys arrive at a farm where Klaus’ mother is supposedly living. Five tells Klaus that this is something he has to face alone and that he’ll stay with the car. 

Five moves the car to the side of the road and turns on a radio station playing songs from the 60s. He then exits the car just to open the rear door, “Scoot over, I want to stretch out my legs and do my crossword.” “You are such an old man. I don’t know how I could be into that.” You say while scooting over to make room for the teen. Five slides in next to you ensuring that his body is facing yours, “I’ll have you know that I have a lot of redeeming qualities that you loved. Not to mention, I’m a sweet talker Darling.” Five brushes his hand against your cheek, holding eye contact with you. Five’s green eyes are intense as you stare back noting the specks of blue in them. “I know, it’s hard to look away from them right?” Five winks at you finally breaking eye contact and sitting back, attention back on his newspaper. You blink rapidly trying to process what had occurred between the two of you.

Suddenly, a pulse rushes through the car shaking it as it passes. Five immediately sits up, hand gripping yours as he scans the area for signs of danger. You two exit the car, still holding hands. “Five? Where’d the cows go?” You question pointing towards the previously filled farmland which was now completely vacant. “Damnit can’t I get just one day off?” Five sighs throwing his hands in the air. The teenage boy gets to working on equations trying to figure out what he and his siblings fucked up now. In the distance, you hear a faint yell. A few seconds later comes Klaus with an angry Amish mob chasing after him, “Start the car! We’ve got to go now!” The three of you clamber into the car and speed off.

Klaus tells Five his findings and experience with the Amish and how his mother died before he was born. Five stomps on the breaks, causing you to fly forward, “We are so fucked. We’ve created the Grandfather Paradox.”

Once back at Hotel Obsidian Five takes you with him to find Lila. Her son, Stanley, tells you that she’s in the women’s restroom. Five is about to enter before you stop him, “Hey perv, this is the ladies room. Let me go.” You spot Lila in the bath and wave at her, “Y/N! Long time no see. Well actually, I guess you’ve never met me before but…I know you. And I can’t stand you just as much as I hate your husband.” Lila throws a knife in your direction and you are about to move out of the way when you feel a rush of air as you are blinked across the room.

You pull out of Five’s grip, “I can handle myself Five. And he is not my husband!” Lila approaches the two of you fully nude, “If you lovebirds are done with your couples quarrel. I’d love to get this over with.” Five and Lila fight and blink around the bathroom–you never knew two people could have the same powers. Lila manages to knock Five off of his feet, she then blinks to you and punches. You duck down, narrowly avoiding her fist. You sweep your leg at her feet aiming to knock her down. Lila lands on her back and you use your powers to transform into Luther in order to have an advantage, size and strength-wise. You swing your arms up in the air readying to pummel the woman into the ground. Lila mimics your power also transforming into Luther–your eyes widen as you realize what her powers are. Lila pulls her legs to her stomach before kicking them out, launching her legs into your stomach. You fly back, groaning as you land on a sink and breaking it off the wall. Curse Luther and his stupidly big monkey body.

Five has recovered and catches Lila off guard by slamming his body into hers. While distracted he squirts her in the face with soap, “Okay! Fuck! That’s enough!” Lila calls out, wiping the soap out of her stinging eyes. Five blinks over to you as Luther, “Y/N? Are you okay?” You transform back into your teenage self, accepting Five’s outstretched hand, “Never been better.” After making sure you were okay, Five grabs the briefcases from Lila’s possession. They were of course broken and the two decided that they would use their powers to travel to the Commision.

“We can’t bring her, we barely have enough power to bring ourselves.” Lila states motioning towards you. Five looks at you trying to figure out where to put you for the time being. Five walks you to his brother Diego, “I need you to watch her. I’ve got things to do and she can’t come with.” “What the hell? No! I’ve already got one little shit to take care of. I don’t need another.” You scoff at the conversation between the men, “I can hear you guys, you know?” They both ignore you. “Just make them watch each other, I don’t know. Figure it out, I’ve got to go.” Five walks off quickly with his hands in his pocket. Diego looks at you and rubs his face, “Stanley! Get your ass over here and come meet your Auntie!”

part three

taglist:

@ohmyitsfaith

[animesmolbean]

Words Hold Power

An “The Umbrella Academy” fanfiction

Five x Reader

(Female)

Author's Note: Welcome to my The Umbrella Academy fanfiction! I'm so excited to share this story with you all! TUA is my favorite Netflix show! I'm very sad to see it's in its final season, but all great shows come to an end! But at least we'll get to rewatch it over and over again, lol.

Speaking of which, please, no spoilers for S4 since I have not watched it yet. I'll let you guys know where I am in S4 in coming posts.

With that said, I just wanted to tell you guys this. There was one hesitation I had with writing this story. Handling Viktor's character. I know about the journey of this character and Elliot Page's journey as well. I know about the transition, and I wanted to tell you how I planned on approaching this.

I did research on this topic and wanted to be sure I was handling it correctly. I researched how I should write transgender characters and their journeys throughout the story.

I also read other TUA fanfictions for research to see how other authors handle it, and like the research, it's a mixed bag. Some use Viktor only, and some show the name change.

After researching, I decided on an approach.

I will follow what the show does and show the transition story Viktor has. I chose this because I believe it's a beautiful journey, and the show does a great job handling the topic.

One last thing, all the main characters (The Hargreeves siblings) are aged up a little.

With all that said, I hope you enjoy the first chapter! ♥️

~Character Info~

Reader's ability is cursed speech. She can make anyone do what she says with only a few words. It's similar to Allison's, except she doesn't need to say certain words first like her, and her ability is much more powerful. To the point where she has to be extremely careful about what she says.

(As you can tell, this was inspired by the anime character, Toge Inumaki from Jujutsu Kaisen.)

Chapter 1: We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals (Family Reunion)

On the twelfth hour of the first day of October 1985, forty-three women around the world gave birth.

This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women have been pregnant when the day first began.

Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

He got eight of them.

Many years later, the kids grew up and went on with their lives as adults.

There was Number One, aka Luther Hargreeves. Big, strong and was currently on the moon, studying and preparing for whatever his mission was.

There was Number Two, aka Diego Hargreeves. Impulsive, brave and works as a vigilante of sorts.

There was Number Three, aka Allison Hargreeves. Famous actress who was currently on the red carpet in front of paparazzi.

There was Number Four, aka Klaus. A lazy, free-spirited soul who is currently leaving rehab and using the money he got from the rehab to buy drugs. He ended up in the back of an ambulance.

And, there was Number Seven, aka Vanya Hargreeves. She was quiet, timid, and was currently leaving the theater after practicing her violin.

However, their lives would change forever with one broadcast.

Their father was now dead.

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

☂

Vanya rode a taxi to her childhood home. A place she lived for many years.

The Umbrella Academy.

A tall condo-like building with a black gate.

Vanya approached the building and opened the doors, whose windows were decorated by umbrellas.

The foyer was fancy still. The middle was open with a chandelier hanging above a small round table in the middle. Tall, smooth white beams holding the sides which held the second floor. A staircase that leads to that second floor was behind the small round table.

It was just as Vayna remembered it. Every little detail was still there.

“Hey, Mom.”

Vanya called to the woman in the living room. Said woman sat on the sofa in front of the fireplace, which currently had a fire going. She stayed still as she stared into the dancing flames.

“Mom?”

“Vanya?”

A familiar voice turned Vanya’s attention elsewhere.

“You're actually here.”

She turned and saw her sister, Allison coming down the stairs.

“Hey, Allison.”

“Hey sis.”

Allison now stood before her sister. She chuckled and brought the other girl into a hug, which Vanya quietly but graciously returned.

“Ah. What is she doing here?”

A new voice spoke through the quiet foyer.

“You don't belong here. Not after what you did.”

It was Diego.

“You're seriously gonna do this today?” Allison spoke up, her tone telling that she wasn't in the mood for the male's attitude.

“Way to dress for the occasion, by the way.” She added, mocking Diego’s attire as he ascended the stairs. He was still in his “hero” gear; knives and everything.

“At least I'm wearing black.” Diego shot back nonchalantly as he turned left on the stairs, disappearing from the girls’ views.

Vanya, now uncomfortable, spoke up quietly, “You know what? I- Maybe he's right. And I shouldn't-”

“Forget about him.” Allison interrupted her. “I'm glad you're here.” She spoke softly. Vanya’s lips quirked up a little at Allison's words. The sisters shared a moment of silence.

☂

Diego arrived at his late father's room, to see Luther there checking the windows. He leaned against the doorframe.

“I can save you some time. They're all locked. No forced entry, no sign of struggle. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

As he spoke, he walked over to Luther who was also walking towards him.

“Oh, you got big, Luther. What's the secret, huh? Protein shakes? Low carbs?” Diego asked mockingly.

“What do you want?” Luther asked, not wanting to deal with Diego's attitude.

Diego reached into his pocket and pulled out a few folded pieces of paper, handing them to Luther. “The autopsy report.”

After he teasingly tried to pull them away from Luther, the latter brother snatched them out of his hand.

“And you have this, why?” Luther asked.

“Well, that's because I… broke into the coroner's office.” Diego explained as he sat down in an armchair. “And surprise, surprise, Dad's death was… normal. Just a boring, old heart failure.”

“Yeah, so?” Luther looked at Diego.

“So, why are you in here, checking all the windows?”

“Were you the first one on the scene?” Luther asked.

“Pogo found him.” Diego answered.

“Yeah, I talked with Pogo. He said he couldn't find Dad's monocle.”

“And your point being?” Diego asked in a bored tone.

“Can you think of a single time you saw Dad and he wasn't wearing that monocle? No. Which means someone took it. Which means there's a chance he wasn't alone when he died.”

Diego sat up from the armchair. “There is no mystery here. Nothing to avenge. Nothing to solve, nothing like that. It's just a sad old man who kicked it in a big empty house. Just like he deserved.”

“You should leave.” Lither spoke, not liking Diego's tone with that last sentence he spoke.

“Whatever you say, brother.” Diego said in a mocking tone as he turned to leave. Before he did, he turned back to Luther. “By the way, did you visit (Your Name) yet?”

Luther shook his head. “No. I was about to, actually.”

“You know where she is.” Diego simply said.

☂

Vanya entered the living room, looking around at the interior. She spotted a comic and new articles on their group, The Umbrella Academy. She looked at the bookshelves and pulled out one book in particular.

The title read, “Extra Ordinary My Life as Number Seven”

It was her autobiography book. The one she wrote when she left the academy.

She observed it solemnly until a voice spoke out.

“Welcome home, Ms. Vanya.”

She turned and saw Pogo, a human sized monkey dressed formally with a cane and glasses.

Vanya walked over to him and hugged him. Pogo hugged back with a hum. “So good to see you.” He noticed the book in her hand. “Ah, yes, your autobiography.”

“Do you know, um…” Vanya paused before continuing. “Did he ever read it?”

Pogo thought for a moment before replying, “Not that I'm aware of.”

Vanya turned her attention to the portrait above the fireplace. It showed a boy, around seventeen in age, sitting with a neutral but sophisticated look on his face.

“How long has it been since Five disappeared?” She asked.

Pogo turned to look at the portrait too. “It's been sixteen years, four months, and fourteen days.” The two looked at each other. “Your father insisted I keep track.”

“And… how long has (Your Name) been in that coma?”

“Sixteen years, four months, and six days.” Pogo replied.

“You wanna know something stupid? I always used to leave the lights on for him. I was scared that he would come back, it would be late, and the house would be dark and he wouldn't be able to find us, so he'd leave again. And he would take (Your Name) with him. So, every night I'd make a little snack and make sure all the lights were on.”

Pogo nodded. “Oh, I remember your snacks. I'm pretty sure I stepped in half those peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches, and those (Favorite type of Cookie) cookies.” He sighed a couple times before he spoke again, “Your father always believed that Number Five was still out there somewhere. He also believed that one day (Your Name) would wake up. He never lost hope.”

“And look where that got him.” Vanya said solemnly.

☂

Allison went up to her late father's study, looking around the area. The familiarity of it brought up a memory.

〰️

Reginald Hargreeves was working in his office, as usual, when Grace knocked on the door. She entered before closing the door.

“The children are ready for bed, sir. They wanted to say goodnight.”

She turned and walked a couple of paces and opened the sliding door.

On the other side revealed the eight children, all wearing matching pajamas. Allison was in the center while the others surrounded her. Little (Your Name) stood between her and Five, a black cloth face mask covering her mouth and nose.

The children were all smiling as they waited for their father to acknowledge them. But he was so into his work that he didn't even glance up at them.

Sensing the awkwardness, Grace quickly dismissed the kids. The kids, of course, were disappointed but not surprised. As they left slowly, (Your Name) tugged on Allison's sleeve, silently asking her to come.

“I'll be there in a minute (Your Name).” The girl whispered. (Your Name) tilted her head to the side. Allison spoke again, “Why don't you go hang out with Five for a bit before bed? I know you planned on it.” She gave the masked girl a small smile. (Your Name) felt her cheeks warm up, but she nodded, leaving and quietly walking over to Five. The boy saw her coming and, with a nod of his head, gestured to her to follow him. (Your Name) nodded and started to walk beside him. As she did, she heard Allison,

“He's always busy.”

〰️

“Where's the cash, Dad?”

The sound of a voice diverted Allison's attention and she walked over to her father's desk, hearing clamoring noises. She leaned forward to look to see who was over there.

“Klaus? What are you doing in here?” She asked.

Said boy looked up and gasped at the sight of his sister. “Oh! Allison! Wow, is that you?” He asked as he stood up. He embraced her slowly; Allison slowly returned the hug. “Long time. Too long.” He pulled away. “Hey, I was hoping to see you, actually, because I wanted to get your autograph. Add it to my collection!” He planted his chin onto his hands.

Allison let her brother act because it was how he always behaved when she noticed the white paper bracelet on his left wrist. “Just out of rehab?” She asked.

“No, no. No, no, no, no. No. I'm done with all of that.” Klaus replied with a sigh as he removed the bracelet. “I just came down here to prove to myself that the old man was really gone.” He smiled. “And he is! He's dead. Yeah!” He clapped, making Allison smile a little, shaking her head a bit.

“You know how I know? Because if he were alive, not one of us would be allowed to set foot in this room.” Allison silently agreed with Klaus.

“He was always in here, our whole childhood, plotting his next torment, right?” He said with a chuckle as he sat in the armchair behind the desk, putting his feet on the desk. “Remember how he used to look at us? That scowl?” He pointed to the man's portrait onto the wall behind him. “Thank Christ, he's not our real father, so we couldn't inherit those cold, dead eyes!” He stretched his eyelids to show more of his eyeballs. He fake screams, making Allison chuckle a little as Klaus started to dramatically imitate their late father.

“Get out of his chair.”

Klaus turned his head and saw Luther standing by the doorway. “Oh, wow, Luther! Wow, you really, uh… You really filled out over the years, huh?” Klaus said as he stood and flexed his arm muscles.

“Klaus.” Luther warned.

“Save the lecture. I was already leaving. You guys can talk amongst yourselves. I am going to visit (Your Name). Oh! The precious little sister of ours.” He chuckled softly. Before he could leave though, Luther stopped him. “Drop it.”

“Ex-squeeze me?” Klaus said.

“Do it. Now.” Luther ordered.

Klaus pulled his arm away from Luther and went back to the desk and started to empty out his pockets, which held a few of his late father's belongings. “It's just an advance on our inheritance! That's all it is!” Allison chuckled silently at her brother. “No need to get your little panties in a bunch.” With that, Klaus left, closing the door; leaving Luther and Allison alone in the room.

“So, Klaus is still Klaus, in case you are wondering.” Luther started.

“You know, after all these years, I find it strangely comforting.” Allison stated.

“Did you see Diego?” Luther asked.

“With his stupid outfit?” Allison added in amusement.

“Oh, I know. Do you think he wears that thing in the bathroom?” Lauther asked.

“Like in the shower?” Allison asked for confirmation.

“Yeah.” Luther confirmed.

“Yes, absolutely!” Allison laughed.

The two went on to talk about how their lives are going now that they are adults. Luther was the only one to stay while the rest went their separate ways. Their conversation ended talking about Allison's family and her powers.

〰️

A little later, everyone congregated in the living room. The fire was still going in the fireplace as everyone sat in silence.

Luther started talking about doing a memorial service for their late father. Some like Allison were mostly confused by this or making fun of it like Klaus.

“Is that my skirt?” Allison asked, noticing Klaus wearing a skirt now.

“Oh, yeah this. I found it in your room. It's a little dated, I know, but it's very breathy on the bits.”

Luther stopped Klaus before he could go further and started to talk about their father's death. He had a theory that he didn't die simply of heart failure. He recounted how he was acting suspicious and requested Klaus to try to communicate with him. Klaus was not interested.

“I can't just call Dad into the afterlife and be like, “Dad, could you just stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?”

“Since when? That's your thing.” Luther said.

“I'm not in the right… frame of mind.”

“You're high?” Allison asked, not surprised.

“Yeah! Yeah!” Klaus laughed. “I mean, how are you not listening to this nonsense?”

“Well, sober up, this is important.” Luther said.

Klaus only sighed.

When Luther started talking about the missing monocle, Diego concluded that Luther was suspicious of all of them, saying that Luther thought one of them killed their dad. This caused everyone to get upset. Diego insulted Luther's leadership, Klaus got up and jokingly said that he might as well go murder their Mom and (Your Name), unless she was already dead. Vanya left in silence and. Allison left in silence as well. Luther tried to defend himself, but it was too late.

They weren't always like this. When they were kids, they were tight knit.

〰️

17 YEARS AGO

“This is Jim Hellerman, reporting live for Channel 2 News outside of the Capital West Bank at Main and Sixth. A group of heavily armed men stormed the bank not three hours ago and took an unknown number of hostages.”

The armed men surveyed the bank as they pointed their guns at the bound up hostages and pushed them behind the counter as they proceeded with the robbery.

Unexpectedly, a girl with curly black hair, in a school uniform and mask, walked casually to one of the robbers.

It was Allison.

“Hey, get back with the others.” The robber ordered the girl.

“I heard a rumor.” Allison spoke.

“What? What did you say?”

Allison leaned forward and used her ability, “I heard a rumor that you shot your friend in the foot.”

The robber pointed his gun at one of his partners and promptly shot him in the foot, knocking him down. The hostages screamed at the sound of the gun.

Suddenly, someone, dressed in a boy's school uniform with a mask came crashing down from a window above and landed behind the counter. It was Luther. He punched one robber and threw him out the window with surprising strength.

Then, another kid dressed like Luther came from the other side of the bank. “Guns are for sissies. Real men throw knives.” He threw two long knives at one of the robbers only for them to redirect to another robber and immediately killed him.

There were now only two robbers left in the lobby.

One of them climbed onto the desk and pointed his gun shakily at the three kids. “Get back, you freaks.”

“Hey, be careful up there, buddy.” Diego, the knife throwing kid taunted.

“Get back now!”

“Wouldn't want you to get hurt.” Allison taunted as well.

“Or what?”

A fourth kid appeared seemingly out of nowhere, sitting criss cross on the desk. A taunting smirk on his face. This was Number Five.

The robber shot at Five, but he disappeared and reappeared on the other side. When the robber turned around and tried to shoot him again, he suddenly realized that he was not holding a gun.

“Ooh! That's one badass stapler!” Five taunted before smacking the guy's hand holding the stapler into his head. This knocked the robber over.

All they had to do now was get rid of the robbers in the vault.

Or so they thought.

There was one more.

He loaded his fun and his gun cocked, catching the kids off guard.

“Down you freaks!” He yelled.

Suddenly, running from a hidden place behind a wall was a fifth kid, dressed like Allison, as she pulled down her face mask. She directed her attention to the robber.

“Explode!”

The single word echoed loudly through the bank, and just before the guy could turn his gun to the girl, his body suddenly exploded, body parts, guts, and blood spreading out everywhere. The hostages screamed in fear. The girl quickly covered her face again, breathing heavily as she ran to her siblings.

She gestured to all of them. They couldn't see much of her face, but they could tell she was worried by the look in her eyes.

“We're okay. Thanks (Your Name).” Allison said.

(Your Name) hummed, nodding as she walked over to behind the desk with the others, while two more kids dressed like the rest of the boys joined them. Five looked at her. “That was pretty badass. Good work.” He complimented, giving her a smile. (Your Name) felt her cheeks warm up a little, and she tilted her head a bit and closed her eyes. Most people wouldn't be able to tell her expression behind the mask, but Five knew she was smiling at him in thanks.

“Do we really have to do this?” A meek voice asked.

“Come on, Ben. There's more guys in the vault.” Luther told the boy.

Ben sighed as he walked to the vault door. “I didn't sign up for this.”

He entered as the hostages all ran for their lives out of the bank. Inside the vault, the last of the robbers were eyeing slaughtered by Ben's ability. He screeched and roared as his tentacles ripped them apart and threw them against the walls. Blood splattered all over the windows.

Once it was quiet, Ben came out, covered in blood. “Can we go home now?” He asked, his breathing shaky.

It was time to leave.

The seven kids started walking towards the entrance of the bank. (Your Name) pulled out a small vial and turned the cap. She pulled the bottom part of her mask up and put the bottle to her lips. She tilted her head back and started swallowing the liquid. She finished it and placed the empty bottle back in her pocket.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Five's voice made (Your Name) turn to him. She nodded and hummed in thanks. Five offered his arm to her. “Ready?” He asked. The girl nodded again, and she hooked her arm with Five's. Five smiled at her, and they started walking after their siblings.

The seven kids emerged from the back as the news reporters pointed their cameras at the group, and they all clamored to try to talk to them.

Above on the top of a building nearby, stood Reginald Hargreeves, observing the other kids with a mini telescope. An eighth kid, dressed like Allison and (Your Name), minus the mask, stood next to him.

“Why can't I go play with the others?” The girl asked.

“We've been through this before, Number Seven. I'm afraid there's just nothing special about you.” Reginald said as he lowered his telescope.

The girl looked down. “Oh.”

Eventually, Reginald came down to stand with the children.

“Our world is changing. Has changed. There are some among us gifted with abilities far beyond the ordinary. I have adopted seven such children.”

‘You mean eight.’ (Your Name) thought to herself as she looked down temporarily, her arm still linked with Five's.

“I give you the inaugural class of the Umbrella Academy.”

Many news reporters asked many questions.

“What happened to their parents?” One asked.

“They were suitably compensated.” Reginald replied.

“Are you concerned about the welfare of the children?” Another asked.

“Of course. As I am for the fate of the world.” Reginald said.

〰️

☂

Everyone was in separate rooms, having their alone time after the little dispute from earlier. Klaus was still in the living room, trying to talk to their late father but he ended up knocking the vase filled with his ashes over.

Luther was walking through the hallways, reminiscing until he got to his room.

Allison was looking through her belongings until she found a gold heart locket with ‘A+L’ carved onto the front.

Klaus took the vase into the kitchen where he proceeded to take more pills.

Diego laid on the couch in the living room, playing with one of his knives.

Vanya sat on the stairs, a solemn look on her face.

Luther eventually found a familiar record and played it on the record player.

“I Think We're Alone Now” by Tiffany started to play.

Everyone heard the familiar tune all throughout the house and they all started to dance in their respective rooms.

Childhood nostalgia ran through their bodies as they all danced like no one was watching. Even Pogo moved a little to the beat.

But suddenly, thunder rumbled and lightning flashed.

The music stopped as the house reacted to the violent disturbance.

The siblings all ran to the courtyard and saw a giant hole, surrounded by blue lightning.

“What is it?” Vanya asked.

“Don't get too close!” Allison warned.

“Yeah, no shit.” Diego said.

“Looks like some sort of temporal anomaly. Either that or a miniature black hole. One of the two.

“Pretty big difference there, Paul Bunyan.” Diego insulted.

“Out of the way!” Klaus exclaimed as he came out with a fire extinguisher and tried to spray it but it was out of steam. So, he just threw it at the mysterious anomaly only for it to get sucked in.

“What is that gonna do?” Allison asked.

“I don't know. Do you have a better idea?” Klaus asked.

The anomaly got stronger and Luther ushered everyone behind him to protect them. Klaus wanted to run. Luther and Allison held hands.

The electrical crackling intensified and someone emerged from the anomaly, arms out. It disappeared and the person fell out of the sky and landed on the ground. The sky cleared up as the siblings walked towards the person, who stood up. He was dressed in a suit way too big for him.

“Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?” Klaus asked.

The boy known as Five looked at himself then back at the siblings.

“Shit.”

☂

The six were now in the kitchen. Five was busy making a sandwich while the others watched in shock.

“What's the date? The exact date.” Five asked.

“The 24th.” Vanya replied.

“Of what?”

“March.”

“Good.”

Luther spoke up. “So, are we gonna talk about what just happened?”

Five didn't reply. He just continued with making his sandwich.

Silence fell for a couple of seconds until Luther stood up. “It's been seventeen years.”

Five scoffed. “It's been a lot longer than that.” He blinked over to the cabinet.

“I haven't missed that.” Luther muttered.

“Where'd you go?” Diego asked.

“The future. It's shit, by the way.” Five replied as he blinked back to the table.

“Called it.” Klaus said.

“I should've listened to the old man. You know, jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a toss of the dice.” Five looked up at the siblings. “Nice dress.” He told Klaus.

“Oh, well, danke!” Klaus said, playing with the article of clothing.

“Wait, how did you get back?” Vanya asked.

“In the end I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time.” Five explained.

“That makes no sense.” Diego spoke up.

“Well, it would if you were smarter.” Five sasses.

Diego stood up to confront the boy but Luther stopped him, holding him back.

“How long were you there?” He asked.

“Forty-one years. Give or take.”

Luther and Diego sat back down. “So what are you saying? That you're fifty-eight?” The former asked.

Five looked at Luther. “No, my consciousness is fifty-eight.” He finished his sandwich. “Apparently, my body is now seventeen again.”

“Wait, how does that even work?” Vanya asked.

“Delores kept saying the equations were off. Eh.” Five took a bite out of his sandwich. “Bet she's laughing now.”

Vanya was confused. “Delores?”

Five ignored her and looked at the newspaper that told him about Reginald Hargreeves’ death. “Guess I missed the funeral.”

“How'd you know about that?” Luther asked.

“What part of the future do you not understand?” Five asked. “Heart failure, huh?”

“Yeah.” “No.” Diego and Luther said together.

Five hummed before clicking his tongue. “Nice to see nothing's changed.” Then, he got a good look at his siblings again. He realized that one was missing. “By the way, where's (Your Name)?”

The other five siblings looked at each other, solemn expressions on their faces now. “Well…” Vanya started. “There isn't an easy way to say this.” Allison said. “She's in a coma.” “She's dead.” Klaus and Diego finished. “Diego!” Allison scolded.

Five looked at his siblings, a subtle look of worry on his face, but on the inside, his heart was beating faster. “What happened?”

“Well…. like I said… this isn't easy to say.” As Allison tried to explain, they suddenly heard soft footsteps approaching the kitchen. They slowly turned their heads and what they saw shook them to the core.

There stood…

(Your Name).

Klaus yelled in surprise.

“Holy shit.” Diego said.

Everyone else looked in surprise.

(Your Name) was alive.

[moonydustx]

Hi!! Your writing is so good. I love it so much!!! Can i request a Five x female reader? Where the reader is smug and direct about her feelings? Thank you!! 🫶🫶🫶

Hi Hi! First, thank you for appreciating my work ❤️❤️

I tried my best to deliver and I apologize in advance if anything deviated from the proposal. I used Five from last season because his personality in these last few episodes is my favorite. Again, thanks for the request and i hope u like!

requests | the umbrella academy masterlist

What do you feel?

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x F!Reader

Warnings: fluffff, some things are a little out of canon, F!Reader is also someone with powers. She can feel others' feelings and make others feel hers through touch.

You still remembered the first time Five crossed your eyes at Temps Comisson. The neat jacket, the formal shorts and the almost arrogant posture for just a kid. At first, you hated him.

"A new friend for you." the manager introduced you to him and the two of you barely bothered to shake hands.

"Great, a newbie." Five replied, without much patience.

"I already have my suitcase, I don't need this new one." the cynicism in your tone was clear to both of them. When you saw the manager looking at you impatiently, you turned to him. "Let's follow the rules: don't get in my way, don't meddle in my choices and please don't expect me to save you if you're standing in the grave."

"I could say the same." Five replied, extending his hand to you. "Deal."

And a few years later, here you were. Cooped up in the family of what you could call your best friend, attending a wedding taking place under the lights of the end of the world.

"What do you think, huh? Apocalyptic weddings." Five whispered as the bride and groom entered.

"First I need to find someone who can handle it." your answer came out almost automatically and you just watched Five deny it, with a smile on his lips.

The ceremony was quick, totally the opposite of dinner. The two of you chose to sit at a table alone, taking in your surroundings. The happy couples, Ali and Viktor fighting, Ben being disturbed by Klaus.

"Can you feel what they think from here?" Five asked, filling his glass.

"Sex, sex." you pointed to Luther and Diego with their respective spouses. "Guilt and grudge." you pointed at Viktor and then Allison. "And suicide." Finally, you pointed at Ben. "Look, I don't even need to go there and touch them."

"Sometimes I forget." He pointed to your hands covered in gloves. "And you, how do you feel about the world ending?"

"Relief, I guess." You lied, seeing him nod.

You both watched Klaus approach, in silence. Brother Hargreeves tried to convince them to listen to Sir Reginald, but it was in vain. You understood his hope, in trying to somehow rescue his father's good image and no matter how much he denied it, you could feel that Five wanted to be able to have that kind of hope too.

"I still don't believe him." Five said in a low tone, despite having alcohol in his blood, he still needed to remain alert.

"Me either." you imitated him, moving closer to him. The two of your heads were practically glued together as the two of you talked. "It's a shame to see Klaus so… wait a minute."

Sir Reginald's presence was present there, frightening everyone. It wasn't the spiteful version that you heard Five talk about over the years, but there was something that didn't fit there, you could feel it.

The man gave a brief speech, with a huge poem and it was clear from the looks of those around that the situation was stranger than you could imagine. Perhaps with the intention of breaking the ice hovering in the air, as soon as Hargreeves left the microphone, the dance floor was filled with music and colored lights.

"The old man is actually good at it." Five pondered, taking your attention.

"I don't know, something is wrong. He's always alert, he won't let me touch him." you responded immediately, watching him think for a few seconds.

"Any ideas what we can do?"

"I don't know if you got the memo, but we're about to die. " you turned away from Five to grab your glass. In a cynical gesture, you took your glass towards his glass, improvising a toast. "Here's to the old man's minutes of sanity."

"How can you be so frank?" He seemed indignant, drawing a laugh from your lips. "You're worse than me."

"Ah, dear Five. Try to feel what everyone else feels for a day. All the anger, all the fear. Your own feelings become a burden to you." your words silenced him, leaving space for him to just nod and for you to return to contemplating the speeches.

"I'm glad the world is ending." he stood up, extending his hand to you while his other hand held the bottle of champagne you shared. "Screw other people's feelings."

"Yeah, screw it." You accepted and stood up.

Five led you to the dance floor and even though the music was more upbeat and the dance floor was full of his brothers, he still spun you around a few times, in a kind of disconcerted waltz.

Five soon let go of you and climbed up to where the DJ table was, taking the microphone from the strange man. Without speech or prior notice, Five began to sing. The lyrics weren't the happiest of all, much less the melody, but they were familiar to you. You remembered singing it a few times in Five's presence and saying how much it reminded you of your father, who had been away from you for years.

"Would you accompany me?" your eyes moved away from Five's to Klaus, who proposed a dance. You could notice his suspicious look as he led you away.

"You like him, don't you?" Klaus asked and you just nodded, there was no point in hiding it anymore. "Well, you still have some time until the world ends."

"And if it doesn't end, what do I do next?"

"What do you mean it doesn't end?" Klaus asked, stopping turning you around. "Will you accept Dad's plan?"

"No, no, that's not it. I've seen Five end apocalypses before, I think something inside me hopes he can fix this one too. Maybe it's just the grief speaking inside me."

"Yeah, maybe."

Klaus turned you around once again and let you go, leaving you alone for just a few seconds.

"Let's get out of here?" Five's voice materialized behind you. "I need fresh air."

Before you could respond, he held your hand and led you away. It only took a few minutes for the two of you to be alone, watching the orange sky from the building's terrace.

"Can I ask you something?" You sat next to him, keeping little distance. Before you could ask, he held out the bottle of champagne he hadn't put down yet.

"Technically you already asked."

"Stop being an idiot." your shoulders collided with his. "That's it, right? I think we finally don't have the solution."

"I can almost believe you're scared." this time, you didn't deny it, you just looked away. "You know you don't need to talk, right?"

"I know, but it's frustrating. Running after saving the world all this time and not being able to. I'd rather die, I don't know, run over by a car, with an anvil falling on my head. But an apocalypse?" you laughed and watched Five do what you had done many times when you couldn't use your voice to talk. He took one of your hands and took off the glove, allowing himself to touch your skin.

"I can feel you." he replied, in a low tone. "You are afraid."

Five preferred to omit everything else he felt when he touched your skin. Fear, anguish, anxiety, love. The last one weighed on his mind, but he knew you and knew you would come out as soon as he felt comfortable. In a way, he knew that when he touched you, you would also be aware of his feelings.

"The only people who aren't scared are those who aren't paying attention."

"I think we need to drink more, to forget about this." even after just a few minutes of sitting, Five pulled you to your feet. "And this dress suits you, it's a waste to stay here while the party is going on downstairs."

Again, he dragged you downstairs, where the celebration was taking place. Whiskey, vodka, beer, everything that still contains a quantity of alcohol became part of your menu and at the end of the party, you found yourself sitting at the counter, Five standing a few meters away, tasting two different drinks. Maybe that would be the last time the two of you would party.

"Five?" you interrupted him, making him place the two bottles on the floor. "I don't want to die with regrets."

"Elucidate me on that."

"Even though The Handler always made it clear that I was too much for you, I like you." A sob caused by alcohol interrupted your train of thought. "I like it and I know that maybe I'm a little too much for your arrogance. You're also a little too much for me." You laughed, seeing him approach. "I think after these years, it's only fair for me to say that I love you."

"You think?" he laughed, fitting himself between your legs dangling from the metal counter. "You drank too much."

"You too." you responded immediately, starting to take off your gloves. "And alcohol doesn't affect my opinion. Feelings don't lie, do you want to feel?" Before the first glove could leave your hand, Five stopped you.

"I believe in you and I feel the same." he replied and in an unexpected gesture, he hugged you, putting his face in your mouth. "I've loved you for a while, it's a shame it took us so many years to realize."

"We can live that at least now." You gave space for his face to be in front of yours. "Damn, now I wish I could end this apocalypse."

His lips took yours and instead of his hands attaching themselves to your body, Five disheveledly took off your gloves and pulled your hands until they tangled around the back of his neck.

"I love you so much." he murmured between your lips, feeling almost overwhelmed by all the feeling that emanated from your hands. "Tonight, I'm yours and you're mine, fuck this apocalypse."

"Until the world ends?" you asked breathlessly.

"Until the world ends."

Your mouth tasted like alcohol, sweets and fear for the small future, but Five didn't see the problem, after all you could love each other until the world ended.

[norgreeves]

Party: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Notes:

Both Five and Y/N were adults who were aged down after time travel

Both Five and Y/N are at least 18

Y/N is female and uses she/her pronouns

Tags: angst, fluff

You're celebrating with the families, but something seems to be bothering Five.

You were dancing with Lila and he couldn’t look away. 

Everyone was celebrating saving the world from another apocalypse, the Sparrows and Umbrellas had put aside their differences for the sake of a good old fashioned party. Five was relieved and ready to retire, with a bottle of whiskey in hand, but he kept his distance from the group. He was leaning on a table, watching the absolute mess of comradery unravel before him. Ben and Diego appeared to be dancing and fighting at the same time, throwing their masculinity in eachothers faces. Five rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to you, already feeling as though he’d missed out on something. A smile, perhaps a glance.

Lila took your arm and you span each other in turn, giggling and stumbling through the moves, the alcohol starting to have more say in your limbs than your muscles. You reached for the bottle of wine, Lila’s grasp loosening as she let you take a swig,

“Someone’s smitten,” Lila called over the music.

“What’s that?” You frowned.

She just mouthed, ‘Five’, at you and winked, before nodding her head to the side. You followed the direction she indicated and caught eyes with Five, who was swaying and staring. There had always been something between you two, but nothing was ever said aloud. And with the whole apocalypse situation it never felt like it was okay to test the waters. He noticed you noticing him, and, in his tipsy state, he was too slow to act natural or hide his embarrassment. You sighed and smiled at him, turning his sheepish stare into a returning smile. Your hand reached out, gesturing for him to join,

“Come dance!”

“Have fun, loser,” Lila called before dancing over to Diego. You watched her go and laughed, turning back to see Five stumbling over to you, almost knocking into Viktor and Klaus, who were swaying about wildly.

“Woah!” you giggled, putting a hand out to steady him, “drunk?”

“Noo!” He shook his head, sounding like a child, “I’m perfectly capable of anything. I could take a whole other boardroom on right now. Just watch me-”

“Okay! Okay, yes you’re very strong and brave,” you patted his back before taking his hand, “Now come dance with me,”

He started to dance, terribly, mind, but you didn’t care. You were more sober than him, sure, but only by comparison. He reached his arm up, inviting you to spin; you felt the world spin with you. Grinning and tugging him back close to your side before letting go. He held his tight smile, but you could see something was up.

“Why do you look so glum, Five? We won! You’re drunk! Who cares?!” You cried, before noticing his lack of reaction, “Right?”

“I guess so!” He replied, trying to convince himself. You slowed your dancing down and stared at him, frowning. “Alright, come on, then,” you grabbed his hand before walking away from the group, Five almost tripping over his own feet as you guided him.

“What’s this for?” Five asked, “where are we going?”

“Just outside, I can’t hear anything in there,” you said as you continued walking towards the door, Five’s hand still clasped around yours. You wondered if he had realised.

“Why?” He slurred slightly, recovering his balance.

“I wanna know what’s up.”

You stopped outside by the benches, turned to face Five, and looked him in the eye. His reactions took a second to catch up with you, and so when he came to a halt he was close to you, his eyes meeting yours.

“I thought you wanted to dance,” he pointed back to the party, swinging his body with his arm.

“It’s not fun if you’re gonna be all mopey,” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not mopey,”

“Five,” your voice was earnest and gentle as you tilted your head, “I’m serious.”

He looked at you, his hard stare softening away to dust as he took a deep breath. There was a moment of silence and you begged him to fill it.

"Okay," he hummed, "okay..I guess I just...always thought I’d die saving the world,” he hummed, perching on the bench and patting the empty space next to him. You sat down quietly, trying to offer him an encouraging glance, but he was staring at the ground, avoiding your gaze.

“And I was okay with that,” Five nodded slowly, taking a second to fish for sober thoughts, “I figured I’d do something stupid and die trying to fix it. And you’d be there, of course,” he stifled a chuckle, “and I’d say everything I never had the guts to say. And then I’d die, and I wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences.”

“That’s healthy,” you said, but your voice trailed off as you lost the confidence to poke fun. You two always made remarks at each other, trying to get the last sarcastic comment in. But in that moment he was so sincere, it just didn’t feel right. You cleared your throat and turned in your seat slightly to look at him, “What don’t you have the guts to say?”

Five shifted in his seat, daring to look up. His eyes were scanning you, his gaze soft and kind, “I think you already know, Y/N.”

“Then say it, Five.”

“I don’t think I can, I don’t think it’s fair,” his voice was wavering as he looked back down at the ground shyly.

Your stomach began to sink.

“Five Hargreeves," you took his hand and squeezed it, "nothing about this life is fair. Nothing about your job or the commission or these insane families or any other shit is fair. And that’s why you have to say it. Because if you don’t even have the guts to tell me you love me, what’s the point of it all?”

You’d barely got out your last word when his lips crashed onto yours, his hand snaking up your back and melting into your hair as you kissed back. You felt it in his touch, the anger and the love and the thin line he’d drawn to separate the two. His lips were chapped and his hands were cold and you could taste the apocalypse on his tongue.

You broke apart, his hand still cradling your head as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“I love you, Y/N. Okay? I love you.”

------

Thank you for reading! &lt;3

Likes, comments, and reblogs are all very appreciated! Feel free to send me an ask with ideas or suggestions, I don't necessarily take requests, but I like inspo!

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The gif is not mine

[emthephantom]

☆The Dance-Klaus Hargreeves☆

Klaus x Female!Reader Klaus uses his dancing skills to dance with you and things are revealed... Warnings: None Words: 500 A/N: Ahhhh my first story!!! I hope you enjoy it ghosties :)

You walked into the academy with a mission, to finally tell Klaus how you feel. Quickly saying a polite 'hello' to the rest of the family you headed towards Klaus' room. Readying yourself, you prepare to knock on the wooden door when it swings open.

A shirtless Klaus stands in front of you, with that grin you ever so loved. The cigarette he had lit dangled between his fingers as he waved you inside.

'Y/NNN! I was waiting for you my dear.' he said before returning back into the room.

The pet name brings butterflies into your stomach, you cautiously step inside to join him, your nerves spiking.

The smell of smoke filled your nostrils, a scent that comforted you, the scent of him. 'Yeah, I thought I'd stop by. Listen I- I have to tell you something.'

'Oh my sweet Y/N, pray tell.' he muffled as he put out the cigarette.

All of a sudden, the radio that had been playing faintly became louder,

'It's our song Y/N/N, dance with me'

Klaus wasted no time taking you in his arms, his eyes glistening with a feeling you've never seen. The two of you twirled around his messy room, Klaus leading you. You can't stop looking at his flushed frame; his tussled hair, his shimmering green eyes and those soft lips you longed to call yours.

'You're a good dancer you know.' you whispered, your face becoming warm as you recognised the position you were in. He gripped your waist a little tighter as he continued to twirl you around.

'Dear old dad made us take ballroom dancing lessons; never did have such a beautiful partner though.' he chuckled softly. You felt your head spin, you couldn't take it. You wanted to-no- needed to tell him.

'Klaus list-'

Plush lips were on yours. Stunned, you didn't react. Klaus immediately pulled away, screaming apologies. The hand that perfectly matched your waist was gone, leaving only a cold memory in its place.

'I thought it was the right time, I'm so sor-'

Now it was his turn to be stunned. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pulled him closer to you, pressing your lips to his. Klaus kissed back, not wanting to be away from you any longer. After eternity you pulled away, Klaus speaking first,

'I never planned on falling in love with you all those years ago but the way you helped me after everything, I couldn't help it. You are the light of my life my dear.'

The newfound meaning of the name brings a shudder down your spine. His gaze never leaves you. You drift your hands down to his, grasping them tightly,

'Well I better get better at dancing if we're gonna do that more often' you giggled, ' I love you so much Klaus Hargreeves'

And for once, you were simply Klaus and Y/N, not superheroes saving the world. Just two people starting a wonderful thing that would last forever.

[storiesforallfandoms]

rescue mission ~ klaus hargreeves;umbrella academy

word count: 3646

request?: yes!

@werewolfbanshee-love​ “Awesome, so since I started today with the show can I ask for Y/N to be Klaus’s support and saves him from Cha-Cha and Hazel just being a badass”

description: in which the powerless human takes down two time commission agents on her own

pairing: klaus hargreeves x female!reader

warnings: swearing, violence, i use the name “vanya” in this one just because it takes place in season one

masterlist (one, two, three)

A family full of superheroes, and those fuckers had no idea that one of their brothers was missing. Too wrapped up in their own bullshit to care about anything else. All those superheroes, and it took a goddamn regular human to track down and save a missing Klaus.

I had been in Klaus’ room, waiting for him to come back, when I heard gunshots downstairs. I quickly dropped to the floor and got under his bed for protection. I was not super human, so there was absolutely zero way I was getting involved with whatever was happening. I hoped Klaus also wasn’t getting involved. I listened to the sound of footsteps running past the room, things crashing downstairs, and more gunshots. My breathing became heavier with panic with every passing sound.

I waited a few seconds after the noises went quiet, waiting for any signs of Klaus, or anyone for that matter, coming to check on me. When nothing happened, I hesitantly crawled out from under the bed. I heard slamming doors outside and looked out just in time to see two figures getting into a black car and drive away from the Hargreeves residence. Neither figure looked like any of the Hargreeves siblings, so I took this to mean that the danger had left.

I slowly opened Klaus’ bedroom door and started down the hallway. There was bullet holes in the walls and pictures knocked down. The bathroom door was still open, so I peaked inside but found it empty. There were signs that Klaus had been in there, but none as to where he had gone after his bath.

I could hear voices as I descended the stairs. The giant chandelier from the foyer was now laying shattered in the middle of the floor. An uneasy feeling started to grow in my stomach.

I found Diego, Allison, and Vanya in the living room.

“Hey,” I said, breaking up their conversation. “Where’s Klaus?”

“Who cares?” Diego retorted.

“Uncalled for, Diego,” Allison muttered. “(Y/N), are you okay?”

“Fine,” I said, glaring at Diego before turning to walk away. It was clear I was getting no help from them.

I searched the entire Hargreeves estate to no avail. I knew there was no way Klaus would leave without telling me. He could be a space case sometimes, but he usually remembered to tell me things. Also, he was in the bath. How would he just get out of there and leave during all that commotion without coming to put clothes on? I’d know if he left, I was sure of it.

A thought popped into my head then: the car I had seen drive away. I rushed to Reginald’s office, the one place in the whole house I knew would have a pen and paper. I quickly wrote down the details of the car before I could forget, including the license plate number.

There has to be a way I can find this car, I thought.

But how?

Driving around town was a no go. It was too big of a town, too many places they could’ve gone or still be going to. It would take me hours, even days. Klaus might not have that long.

There was one option I could try.

I ran back down over the stairs just in time to catch Diego leaving. “Wait! Diego, wait, I need a favor.”

He paused at the door and turned to face me. “What’s in it for me?”

I rolled my eyes. “What, are you 12?”

“No, just a man who knows an opportunity when he sees it.”

“Do me this favor or I get Luther to super strength kick you in the nuts.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

He looked at me, as if trying to decide whether to call my bluff or not. After a few moments, he signed and said, “What do you want?”

“I need you to call your cop girlfriend.”

“Patch? Why?”

I couldn’t tell him my suspicions about Klaus’ disappearance. He’d never believe me. I had only properly met Klaus’ siblings a few days earlier, but I could already tell they thought very lowly of him. They would just brush off his sudden disappearance as him going off on a bender and not worry about it.

“I just need her help,” I responded instead. “Please Diego.”

He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Patch’s number. I thanked him profusely as I took his phone. It rang for a short while before Patch answered, “Diego, what do you w - ”

“Patch!” I cut her off. “Detective Patch, this is actually (Y/N), Diego’s brother’s girlfriend. I asked him to call you for me.”

“Oh, I remember you. You’re Klaus’ girlfriend. A little too stable for a guy like him.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before. Listen, I need a favor. I know this is a long shot because you don’t know me, but I needed a plate run on a car to try to find it. I assume cops can do that. Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s important. I - ” I looked over at Diego, who was looking down at his knives and clearly pretending he wasn’t listening. I lowered my voice to say, “I think something happened to Klaus.”

“If it’s something so serious you’re asking for police involvement, you may just want to file a report with the police.”

“No offence, but I don’t completely trust the cops to find him in time. I don’t even trust Klaus’ siblings and they have powers. Look, all I’m asking is any info you can find on this car, that’s it. Please Patch.”

There was a moment of silence. I expected her to say no. It was a big ask for her to do this for someone she didn’t even know. As far as I could tell, she didn’t even like Diego all that much right now. But I needed her to say yes. If she didn’t, I would already be at a severe disadvantage in finding Klaus before it was too late.

“Okay,” she said, finally. “Give me the information.”

I thanked her and gave her the details I had on the car. I also gave her my phone number so she’d call me and not Diego. I thanked Diego again as I gave him his phone back and went back to Klaus’ room to wait. There wasn’t much I could do until Patch got back to me about the car. If she couldn’t find any details about the car, I’d definitely be shit out of luck. I’d never find Klaus.

I paced up and down Klaus’ room. I kept looking out the window, as if the car would return and bring Klaus back safely. I could hear his siblings moving around the house, but not once coming to see where Klaus was. I knew Diego didn’t give a shit, but I thought maybe Allison or Vanya cared enough about their brother to be concerned when I said he was missing. Wishful thinking, I guess.

When my phone rang, I practically jumped out of my skin. I answered without checking the caller ID. “Hello?”

“I got your car,” came Patch’s voice. “And a location.”

Roughly 20 minutes later, I was parked outside of a motel. The car wasn’t in the parking lot, but Patch swore this was the last known location. It was dark and my body was starting to realize it hadn’t slept in well over 12 hours. But I pushed through it. I needed to find Klaus. I needed him to be alive and safe.

The car finally pulled into the lot nearly an hour later. All sleep immediately left my body as I sat up and watched intently. The car parked and a man and woman got out. They didn’t go around to the back of the car to take a third person out, so I could only assume that Klaus was already inside their room. I got out of my car, grabbing the crowbar I had taken as a weapon before starting to follow Klaus’ captors at a safe distance. They turned a corner and I paused to let them get far enough away to keep myself safe. When I peaked around the corner, they had gone into one of the rooms.

I silently crept down the block of rooms. There was only one room with the lights on, so it was easy to find where the assailants were. I peaked through the thin white curtains to see a figure tied to a chair between the two beds.

Klaus.

I could see his two captors stood facing him, side on to where I was but not able to see me. I couldn’t make out much as the curtains still blocked a lot of my vision.

I hadn’t thought this far ahead. What was the next step here? How did I get them out of the room long enough for me to save Klaus? Or how did I knock them out long enough?

They wouldn’t just answer the door if I knocked, would they?

I took the chance and knocked at the door. “Housekeeping!”

There was silence. I knew it was a long shot, but I had no other plan, and I wasn’t sure how much time I had.

I tried again, knocking three times and repeating, “Housekeeping!”

My heart jumped when I heard the doorknob turn and the door suddenly opened. A tall man with brown hair and a beard looked down at me. Realizing that I wasn’t housekeeping, he looked at me in confusion.

I smiled. “Hello.”

And then I swung my crowbar.

It connected with the side of his head, knocking him to the door. I was surprised by how little effort it took to take him down. Now, where’s the other one?

My question was quickly answered by the sound of gunshots. I dove behind the nearest bed as the woman stepped out of the bathroom, now wearing a mask and shooting at me as I fell to the ground. I should’ve known they’d have guns. I heard the gunshots when I was at the Hargreeves’ place. And yet I came with a crowbar in hand, something that I needed to be very close to the attackers in order to use.

Stupid!

I looked over to where the man was laying unconscious. His white button up shirt was tucked into his pants, revealing his own holster with the gun. I knew it was a bad idea, but I needed to get that gun. At least to try and defend myself from this lady attacker.

I inched forward slowly. She had stopped shooting at me, so I knew she was just waiting for me to come out from my hiding spot. I had a short period of time to try and grab the gun and dive back to where I was hiding before her bullets finally made connections with my body. I had to grab something to cover me, or at least that would hopefully cover me, long enough for me to get the gun.

I looked up to see the a large briefcase on the table behind me. It was a long shot, I’m pretty sure bullets can go through briefcases, but it was all that I had. I turned so my feet were facing towards the table and kicked it. The briefcase wobbled slightly, but didn’t move.

“Hey!” called the female attacker. “What are you doing?!”

I kicked the table again and the briefcase fell over, the handle facing outwards. I reached up and grabbed it, pulling it down just in time for another bullet to whiz past my hand.

“You’re not a very good shot,” I taunted.

I held the briefcase in front of my body as I scurried out from behind the bed towards the unconscious man. I heard more gunshots and, surprisingly, they ricocheted off the briefcase.

This thing must be maid of titanium or something. It can’t be a normal briefcase.

I fumbled with the latch on his holster as another shot ran out, bouncing off the briefcase again. My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding with adrenaline. I needed to get this thing off. I needed this to be a fair fight. When the latch finally popped free, I breathed a sigh of relief before taking the gun and diving back behind the bed, taking the briefcase with me. I had a feeling it was something important, and maybe I could exchange it for Klaus.

“Listen!” I called. “I’ve never dealt with all this shooting and kidnapping shit before. I’m not part of the Umbrella Academy, I don’t have powers, I’m just a normal person. I came here because I think you took my boyfriend and I want him back. Whatever you have against the Umbrella Academy I can assure you has nothing to do with Klaus. If you’d just give him up to me, I’ll give you back your briefcase and we’ll leave. I promise you we won’t interfere with whatever you have going on. Truthfully, I don’t even really like Klaus’ siblings right now, so if you want to go after them I won’t be standing in your way.”

There was silence. I was starting to get sick of this type of silence. Either agree or disagree with what I was saying. It wasn’t that deep to have to think about it for this long about my proposition.

Another gunshot rang out, so I took that as a no.

My hands were still shaking as I popped up from behind the bed and started blindly shooting. I had never handled a gun before. They were loud and extremely scary. I knew there was very little chance I would actually hit her, but maybe if I was lucky I’d get a good shot in and I could just take Klaus and run.

It didn’t take long for me to use up all of my bullets. I looked up to see that she was nowhere to be seen. I started to rise to my feet, hoping I had hit her and she was laying on the ground. But, of course, no such luck. The moment I stood, she came out of the bathroom again, gun lifted and aimed at me. My quick instincts were suddenly gone as I stared down the barrel of the gun that would undoubtably kill me. I wondered if Klaus’ siblings would find him before he joined me in my fate. I wondered if Diego would feel guilty for not listening to me when I asked him about Klaus being missing. If any of them would even feel somewhat remorseful for not saving me or Klaus in time.

Instead of another shot ringing out, though, the gun just clicked. Both of us looked at each other - well, I looked at her, her mask looked at me - dumbfounded. She tried again and got the same results. A laughed bubbled in my throat and escaped my lips before I could stop it.

Her gun had ran out of bullets, too.

She dropped the gun and lunged over the two beds towards me. She took my off guard long enough to knock me to the ground. I tried to swing at her, but her mask was just as hard as the briefcase was. I howled in pain as my fist collided with the mask for the first time, definitely shattering the bones in my hand. She seemed delighted by the fact that I was caught off guard again and punched me in the face. Pain exploded from my nose causing tears to well up into my eyes.

My crowbar was laying just inches away from me, next to the briefcase. Either one of those things would definitely work in this situation, but I had to hit her just right on the back of her head. It was obvious hitting the mask would only protect her. And I had to do it while she least expected it. If she knew what my plan was, she’d stop me in an instant and probably take me out with her own bare hands.

I stretched an arm out as she hit me again. The pain was almost unbearable. I’d have to get my nose and my hand looked at by a doctor I was sure, but for now I had to focus on surviving this attack and saving Klaus. I felt my fingers brush against one of the two potential weapons and closed them around it. I wasn’t sure which one I had grabbed, but it didn’t matter to me now. I grit my teeth against the pain and hissed out, “You should’ve taken my deal.”

I swung and the briefcase collided with the back of her head. She fell off of me, limp on the ground. I looked down at her to see blood forming on the back of her head. Knowing she was down for the count, I quickly stood and looked for where they could’ve hidden Klaus. It didn’t take long, though, as the silence finally fell over the room made it easier to hear the sound of muffled yelling coming from the closet. When I threw the doors open, I found Klaus, wrapped only in a towel and tied to the chair. His face was just as blood as mine was.

I nearly sobbed as I reached to take the tape off of his mouth.

“You found me,” he breathed.

“I wasn’t giving up until I did,” I said. “Come on, let’s get you out of here before they wake up.”

I undid his bindings and helped him to his feet. We started out of the room, but I paused to take my crowbar and the briefcase. I figured I could use some leverage if these assholes tried to come after us again.

We scurried across the parking lot to my car. My hand and nose were throbbing. I cradled my hand on my lap and drove with the other towards my house. I felt it was a better option than going back to the Hargreeves’ place. I didn’t want his siblings to see both of us all beat up and realize I had been right about Klaus’ disappearance. Not yet, anyways. I’d save the gloating for later.

When we got back to my place, I ran the shower for Klaus so he could clean himself up. I wrapped my hand in gauze from my first aid kit and held an icepack to my nose until the swelling went down. I then cleaned the blood from my face, careful not to accidentally bump my nose. I’d need to seek medical attention, but that was for a later time.

Klaus had clothes at my place, so I laid them out on my bed for him. Poor thing had been in just a towel for who knows how long.

When he came into my room, he paused at the door to look over me. He winced as he looked at my wrapped up hand. “Did they hurt you bad?”

“Well, this was me actually,” I said. “Those fucking masks were harder than I expected them to be. But she did break my nose. I’ll go see a doctor tomorrow. Did they hurt you bad?”

“No broken bones.” He took the clothes from my bed and changed into them. “I can’t believe you risked your life for me like that.”

“Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I? They took you and they were hurting you.”

“I have superhuman siblings, though.”

I shook my head. “Too wrapped up in themselves to even listen to me. There was no other choice than for me to come find you myself.”

Klaus climbed into bed next to me. I rolled onto my side to face him, and he did the same, propping himself up on his elbow as he did so.

“I can’t believe you knocked both of them out on your own,” he said. “I heard all that gunfire and thought for sure you were dead.”

“Well, the guy wasn’t too hard to take down. He answered the door with no mask on, so I just hit him with the crowbar I brought with me. The woman put up more of a fight. I was lucky she was dumb enough to empty her gun while trying to shoot me or else I likely would’ve been a goner.”

He looked over me again. There was a look in his eyes I couldn’t quite place. It was like a combination of things. Love was the one thing I was sure I was seeing.

“I can’t believe you came for me,” he said again.

I smiled and leaned closer to him. “I love you, Klaus. I’d do anything to make sure you were safe. That includes risking my life to go after two kidnappers with guns and titanium masks on my own to save you from them.”

Klaus smiled. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He pulled me the rest of the way forward, closing the gap between us to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around him, leaning forward into the kiss so the two of us were laying down. I winced briefly as my nose brushed against his, sending a slight pain through my face.

“Sorry,” Klaus said, his voice soft. “You need to get that fixed. I can’t just not kiss you.”

I giggled. “Tomorrow, I promise. We need to rest now, though. We both had quite the night.”

As if finally realizing how tired he was, Klaus yawned and nodded. I settled into the bed next to him, cuddling into his chest. I could hear his heart beating as he drifted off to sleep. I used it as a reminder that he was there, that I had saved him, as my adrenaline finally wore off and I finally fell asleep.

[mekochansblog]

Hii!! Can we have a part two of “my little Angel”? I would love to see a part two starting right in the moment it sopped, I’m obsessed with that and with Five as a dad😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭

My little angel

Five Hargreeves x reader

Pt.2 of my little angel

Five held Lina in his arms while he stared at you. You lovingly admire his bottle green eyes. Vanya came back, she first gave you a glance then stared at Five holding Lina. She had a puzzled look on her face since when she was with Five he didn’t have a kid. She then decided to just ask, there was nothing wrong with asking right?

“Umm Five, who's the kid, and why does she look like you?”

Five contemplated on letting her know, but this was his kid! Why shouldn’t he show off his little angel. He looked at you; you were breathtakingly glowing. Pregnancy really did a wonderful job on you. You were practically glowing, but then again that could be your powers making you glow, so goddess-like and glowing like the sun. 

“She’s my beautiful daughter, Evangeline Hargreeves.”

Five announced with so much fondness and confidence, his face was relaxed, something that Vanya had not seen in a while. Vanya stared at Lina and looked at Five. She saw the way Five loved his kid, also Lina looked like a female version of Five. She then smiled, happy he was happy, the time that she has known him (which has been a short while since she doesn’t remember anything at all.) You looked at your sister-in-law and introduced yourself again to her. You all four finally walked out of the cafe shop and started walking who knows where. Just that Five had a place he was staying at and wanted you to go with him. Of course you did follow him, he had your daughter in his arms after all. Lina talked to Five about anything and everything. She told him about staying with her uncle Klausy and how they got back to Dallas.

You winced at the memory, it just happened two days ago, so of course it was a recent thing she will probably remember. Five gave you a look and you just smiled nervously. You knew he was going to ask you about it, but for now he was content with Lina talking his ear off about her days. Five told you he was going to an underground fight since Luther decided to get himself into that with his stay in Dallas first. You winced and took Lina from his arms. He gave you a confused look. You gave him a look he knew way too often.

“My miele, I love you but our kid is not going into an underground fight to see sweaty men and get traumatized.”

You explained to him so he understood why. He nodded his head, moving it side to side to understand that yes maybe that wasn’t the brightest idea he has. Lina first complained, wanting to stay with her father since seeing him for the first time; but you did let her know that we will see him later, he was just going to run errands with auntie Vanny and you promised to take the cake to uncle Klausy and uncle Benny.

She nodded with a cute serious face and gave her dad a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Five had the biggest smile on his face and he gave Lina many kisses all over her face that made her let out giggles. You chuckled and grabbed Lina’s hand. You gave Five a sweet kiss and told him where you were staying. You both bid goodbye and made your way back to Klaus’s mansion. Lina looked so happy getting to finally see her father in person, all she had was stories from you and uncle Klausy. You knew she was going to talk about her day to Klaus and Ben, she loved the stories you will tell her about her father, letting her know she looked exactly like her father. Getting back to the mansion you decide to prepare for dinner, hoping you will finally have lunch with your husband and child like an actual family. Once you are done you decide to visit your friend with Lina in tow. You take a basket and add food for your friend, and you and your kid. 

You let Lina know you’ll both be walking towards Elliot's house. She nods and grabs her backpack. You both make your way to the store and open the door. Once inside you knock on the second door and wait, Elliot opens the door and looks around,once he sees you both he smiles and mentions you both to come in. You go in and put the basket down on the table and look around. Lina runs around and you just smile fondly at your daughter. You start small talk with Elliot while he takes out some paper and crayons for Evangeline. Elliot starts talking about a guy that just showed up at his place and is now staying there. You gave him a deadpanned look and shook your head in disappointment. 

“Elliot, are you getting taken advantage of by this guy? Do you even know who he is? I mean does he even know you like that for him to just stay at your house?”

You question genuinely worries for your older friend. You put a hand up making him stop answering you.

“Actually Elli i don’t think I want to know the answers to my questions. Anyways, come and eat. I made my husband’s favorite food.”

You saw he gave you a sad look but still came and sat down. You went towards the living room not knowing that your husband and Diego were coming from the other side. You tried to get Evangeline to come and eat, but for some reason she was being stubborn and wouldn’t come to eat. You knew if she kept at it she was going to throw a tantrum. You sighed and looked at her.

“Angel?”

You knew that voice. You turned towards the door and saw your husband with your brother in law. You sighed happily, Lina got up and ran towards her dad screaming happily. You looked at your husband and went back towards the kitchen to prepare two more plates for the surprised guests. Diego looked at you and Five back and forth. 

“Who’s the cute looking kid?”

You looked at Diego and looked at Evangeline and gave him a deadpanned look. He still looked confused and then his eyes widened and he looked shocked and looked at Five pointing at him. You snorted and let out a laugh. Five looked at Diego, not entertaining his questioning. You told the boys to sit down, hoping that if Five was sitting down meant that Lina would also sit down to eat. She ran towards her father sitting on his lap ready to eat. You were glad you didnt have to tell her, but you were going to talk to Five about her stubbornness she inherited from him. Once the night ended, Elliot let you stay the night in the guest bedroom Five was already staying at. You got Lina ready for bed, her falling asleep from using all her energy playing with her Uncle Diego. You got into your nightgown and started braiding your hair when your husband came into the room. He sighed and took off his coat, sweater vest and tie. He hugged you from behind and put his head on your shoulder.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.”

You leaned your head back, you turned around and hugged him back. You sniffed him, him still selling like coffee and the forest. 

“I know miele you don’t know how much I needed you here, but I’m glad you’re here with us now.” 

You both layed down, each of us on one side of Evangeline. We all snuggled together and held hands. You whisper to not wake up Lina.

“I love you Five Hargreeves.”

“I love you even more Y/N Hargreeves…. and little Evangeline Hargreeves.”

[sortofanobsession]

In the absence of light (Umbrella Academy Season 2) Chapter 4

Author's Note: This one is a bit all over but I didn't know where to separate it. So I just decided to post the section mostly as is.

@crazycatmaddy

So as it goes, Y/N = your name. Y/N/N = your nickname. Reader pronouns She/Her.

Tag Requests are Open just message me.

Primary Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Female!Reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Series/TUA Masterlist

Content warning: Canon typical drama, manipulation, firearms, arguing, violence, PTSD, sibling rivalry, the usual stuff.

But I still have a heart

Diego pulls his powerless sister behind him when the four of them are met by Elliot with a very distinct firearm. Five makes quick work of disarming the man. The female Hargreeves can’t help but feel useless and helpless again. Diego and Five deal with Elliot, not even noticing how their sister hugs herself.

"You alright?" Lila moves to stand in front of her.

"Yeah, just a fun reminder I am powerless and no help to anyone," the lowest of the Hargreeves siblings admits.

"I doubt that; if you can fight half as well as either of these idiots, then you are fine,” Lila says, gesturing to Five and Diego. “Please don't leave me with this lot."

The Eighth Hargreeves nods, but she is distracted. She finds the same photographs of her siblings that Five had seen. She looks at them one by one.

“Are these your other siblings?” Lila asks.

“Yes,” the saddened sibling states. She ignored her own pictures and focused on the ones of Klaus, Viktor, and Allison. She was used to worrying about Klaus, but she also knew her brother was pretty good at landing on his feet when he was sober enough to do so. And he had been completely sober when she last saw him. She missed him, but she knew he’d survived time travel once. No, she worried about Viktor and Allison the most. Viktor hadn’t even been conscious when Five started to use his powers on all of them. Allison’s vocal cords were too damaged for her to use her powers. Hopefully, her sister healed better than she had.

“Is this you?” Lila asks as she points at the photos of Y/N in the alley.

“Not my favorite day to think about,” the eighth sibling admits.

“If this was your state before you had dropped here, I can see why he was desperate to find you. Good thing the article didn’t have any photos like these.” Lila’s tempted to show them to Diego now, just to see his reaction. A painful reminder of his failure to protect the one person he had spent most of his life trying to protect. That would be entertaining. But the brothers seemed too caught up in whatever the creepy photographer guy said. Creepy to have pictures like this of people he didn’t know hung up in his home. And this was the guy Five trusted? Go figure.

Y/N is in shock as she sees the film, especially when she notices that their father is in it.

"He's here," she mutters to herself as Diego and Five discuss if he killed JFK. She hears none of it as the pulse in her ears drowns them out. Her hands started to shake as she thought about the last time she had seen her father. He had been livid that she was leaving. That she refused to spy on the others. He had tried to stop her from leaving. Demanding Luther as Number One stop her. Luther couldn’t have known back then why their father had tried to keep her leaving more than the others. Their father had already said all sorts of terrible things about her succumbing to weakness. That she was as pathetic as Klaus and no one out there would accept her. She was too different. He hadn’t been completely wrong. Very few people had accepted her. Viktor’s book at least helped her be viewed with sympathy. Sympathy wasn’t acceptance. She thought about Grace and Pogo finding small ways to help her and the others despite risking their father’s ire. They weren’t there to help them anymore. The weakened Hargreeves was more afraid of the fact their father would probably want to find out why her powers failed than she was of the idea she might never get her powers back. She doesn’t notice how Lila watches her. The newest member of their little group easily picks up on the shift in behavior.  

“Diego,” Lila calls. Diego wasn’t used to her calling him by his actual name. No snark. He looks over at her. She nods towards his sister. He sees what she trying to call to his attention instantly. Luz was staring at the image on the projector, but it didn’t look like she was actually seeing it. He’d seen plenty of damaged people in the psych ward with that thousand-yard stare. He calls her name. Five and Elliot look over when she doesn’t answer. Five tries, but she still seems lost to them. The brothers exchange a look before a worried Diego goes over to her.

"Luz?" Diego is in front of her. She finally looks up at him.

"Hmm?"

"Called your name a few times," he says.

"Oh, sorry," she says, " What's up?"

Five shrugs when Diego glances over at him. "Nothing,” Diego says, not wanting to make things worse. “You okay?"

"Dad's in Dallas," she says, her crestfallen tone doesn’t sit well with either of the brothers.

"He is," Diego agrees.

She looks away. "He would be mad if he knew I lost my powers. Without Pogo and Mom, No one will- He'll pick me apart and-"

"That won't happen," Five is quick to stop her.

"He doesn't even know us yet," Diego tries to soothe her worries.

"We don't exist to him." Five is quick to add. "Your anonymity will protect you."

"I'll protect you," Diego quickly offers, brushing his fingers across her cheek. Lila throws a balled-up piece of paper at his head. He corrects himself, “We'll protect you."

“You’re okay, Y/N/N,” Five tells her.

She wants to believe them, but can she? They can’t be with her 24/7. Diego and Lila were on the run. Five was too young, or at least looked like it, and Luther wasn’t always at the club. But she wasn’t going to tell them that. They had enough to worry about. She looks at her watch. “I should go,” she tells them as she get up. “I have a shift to prepare for.”

At the end of her shift she pulls Luther aside.

“Why are we doing this here?” he asks. “I’ll be home in-“

“Because the clock is ticking again, Luther,” she insists. “You wouldn’t believe what Five found. It’s-“

“Don’t care,” Luther says as he starts to walk back towards the club.

“I’m serious, Luther,” she cuts off his path as best she can. “Five and Diego need our help.” He could easily move her out of his way, but she is still his sister, and he still has the task of looking after her here. “Lila and Elliot are helpful and all but-“

“I’m serious too, Y/N,” he states. “You are in no condition to be going along with whatever half discussed plan those two have. And I’m too busy trying to keep a roof-“

“We don’t need the roof here if we can go back-“

He reaches for her arm and starts to lead her towards the car he had been loaned. “You need to go home, and forget-“

“THIS ISN’T OUR HOME, LUTHER!” She screams at him and tries to shove his hand away but it’s a futile effort. “HOME IS WITH OUR FAMILY!”

Luther is keenly aware of the few people that linger outside the club are now looking at them. Watching to see what the giant of a man is going to do to the comparatively tiny waitress. He drops her arm and takes a step back. He tries to think of how to calm her down, but he hadn’t seen her this mad since he locked Viktor in the bunker. He never knew how to handle her temper. Their siblings did, but Luther usually just let the fire in her fade. He should probably feel guilty that he’s glad she didn’t have the Wisp. She couldn’t burn him alive with the thing now. She was already drawing enough attention to them by arguing with him in the damn parking lot.

“Say what you want, just stop screaming,” he demands.

“This is bullshit,” she practically hisses at him, but she had lowered her tone enough that no one would know what she was saying. “You think that things aren't fair for you because you do all the work to keep me safe. That’s your damn job, Number One! You were so bitchy last time because no one respected you as Dad’s Number One! I did, Luther! I did and look where we are now. Look at me, Luther!” She snaps. “The Wisp is gone. My powers are gone, but even I am trying to fix this mess. Why aren’t you? Last time you were all about fixing shit, saving the world. Now? Nothing. You don’t care. Well I do. Don’t you miss the others? Don’t you miss Klaus? Viktor? I know you miss Allison.”

“That’s not-“ he starts but she isn’t finished.

“You wanted us to rely on you. Now I’m asking you, as the one sibling that does, to do the right thing. Please, Luther.”

“No,” he bluntly states as he shoves the car keys into her hand. She stares at him with angry, tear-filled eyes. But he won’t let her sad eyes work this time. “Go home. Better yet, go tell Five and Diego sending you to beg for them won’t work this time. You shouldn’t even be involved in any of this. Without your powers-“

“That’s right! I don’t have my powers, but I still have a heart. Did you lose yours when you landed in that stupid alley? Are you even happy here? Because I’m not. Do you think I enjoy being degraded by old creepy men that think how a waitress responds when they grab a girl's ass determines her tip? I am cold and scared, and I miss my family. And that roof you mention, my tips pay for most of what’s under it. I do everything you tell me to. I run your errands. You won’t let me take a break, let alone try to find the rest of our family. We need to find Allison. I need to find Klaus and Viktor. They-“

“You think I haven’t tried to find them? And all I do now I do is to protect you,” he counters. “You needed someone to take care of you, and I stepped up. Would you rather still be in that hospital or on the street? You’d probably be a warden of the state or, worse, dead. No powers. No documentation. Don’t act like you don’t need me.”

She was taken aback at the familiarity of his statement. It was very similar to the one that just seeing her father had brought back. Then again, what did she expect. He was Number One. “Then let me make this a hell of a lot easier for you,” she says as she shoves the keys into his chest. “You’ll be so glad when I’m someone else’s burden again, won’t you?”

He grips the keys tight and groans. He didn’t actually hate that she relied on him. She was one of his least annoying siblings. She’d just hit a sore spot with some of her points. Sure, he missed Allison, but he thought they had been doing okay before Five showed back up. They had a life here. “Come on, Y/N/N,” He starts to backtrack, but she is already halfway across the parking lot. “You know I didn’t mean it like that!”

She ignores him and hails a cab. Thankfully, the driver didn’t ask questions beyond where she was headed. She gave him Elliot’s address. He’d probably seen his fair share of tearful women trying to leave a painful situation. Probably thought she was a pathetic dame who caught her husband at the gentleman’s club one too many times. He couldn’t possibly know the truth.

Diego takes one at her after Elliot lets her in and sees red. Just seeing the mascara-stained tear tracks and red rimmed eyes is enough. He is ready to fight whoever has upset her. He’d burn Jack Ruby’s club to the ground if he must. His rage only grows when she tells him she had fought with Luther. Five barely manages to talk him down as Lila takes her to the bathroom and helps clean her up.

"There's that lovely face," Lila grins as she wipes the last of the makeup from the other’s face.

"Thank you," the female Hargreeves manages now that she is calm and clean.

"Anytime," Lila winks before she leads her out. The waitress is still in her skimpy little work outfit, and Diego can't remember if he'd ever seen her in anything like that before. His mouth goes dry. Even with her hair pulled back, no makeup and no powers, he still thinks she’s perfect.

Lila rolls her eyes.

"Easy lover boy, your girl is fragile," Lila says in a low tone as she pushes past him to sit on the couch and watch TV. Diego glares at her. But for the weaker sibling, that breaking of eye contact is like breaking a spell. She feels uneasy again. Like she still doesn't know who she really is. Diego sees the way her shoulders slump and she looks at the floor. Suddenly shy, despite the scandalous outfit for the time.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?” Diego asks. “Five says Luther is different, that he-"

She shook her head. "He just doesn't listen," she says as she sits down at Elliot's kitchen table. Her face in her hands for a moment. "And I don't get it. Last time stopping the apocalypse was his biggest priority, and now, he just doesn't care. He doesn't care if we ever go back. He doesn’t get that I have nothing here. This isn’t home. I want the chance to go home. Even if I never get my powers back, I just want to go home." She feels like she might cry again. Not thinking she reaches out for Diego. And without hesitation he goes to her. He kneels in front of her, one hand in hers, the other on her knee. It reminds her of when she sat in the infirmary while giving blood to Allison and wanted nothing more than to touch him. So, she does. She ghosts her fingers along the scar on his brow. He closes his eyes as she does. Just trying to believe this isn't some dream, and he'll wake up still in that damn padded room. He catches her wrist and kisses her palm.

"I'll do everything I can to get us back home. So, you can go back to that shitty boss of yours that doesn't respect your time. I'll give your stupid neighbors something they can’t ignore, and we can figure the rest out from there, how does that sound?"

"Eso suena como el cielo, cariño," she smiles and leans her forehead against his. "Absolutamente perfecto."

"Tu eres perfecta, mi luz." He pulls her forward and kisses her. She kisses back but pulls back far too soon in Diego's opinion.

"What about Lila?" she asks in a harsh whisper.

"Lila know I've been fighting to get back to you, she's-"

"Just a bit of fun, love," Lila says from where she watches the two of them with a grin. "Although, it still could be fun." She winks at the pair and disappears down the hall. Diego hadn't exactly expected that, but Lila was anything but predictable. And he found it adorable the way his luz blushed all the way to the tips of her ears at the suggestive comment.

"I mean, the outfit does give off a certain vibe, Luz," he grins. She blushes again and buries her face in his neck. He can't help but laugh.

"I missed you," she sighs against him.

"I missed you too, Luz. More than you could ever know."

She spent the night wearing Diego's shirt and in his arms. And after promising they would all behave and that it was only practical since there was only one room, Lila on her other side. She fell asleep safe, happy, and warm for the first time since she lost her powers.

Rough Translations:

"Eso suena como el cielo, cariño" = That sounds like heaven, darling

"Absolutamente perfecto." = Absolutely perfect.

"Tu eres perfecta, mi luz." = You are perfect, my light.

[twins-write]

Request Information

We write x reader and x OC stories/oneshots, so don't be afraid to give your character a name, unless you prefer it being the reader!

We typically write the reader as a female, but if you prefer gender neutral, let us know!

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We write for a lot of things, but here is the list if you want to go through it all! If you don't see a specific person/show or anything on the list, still feel free to request it. We might have accidentally left it out, but if not, we can still attempt to write that person for you!

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FULL LIST OF WHAT WE WRITE FOR:

Shows/movies:

13 Reasons Why

Clay Jensen

Justin Foley

911 (Lonestar and the original)

Eddie Diaz

Evan Buckley

Judd Ryder

Owen Strand

Paul Strickland

TK Strand

Wyatt Harris

American Horror Story

Jimmy Darling

Kit Walker

Kyle Spencer

Michael Langdon

Tate Langdon

Xavier Plympton

Attack On Titan

Armin Arlert

Jean Kirstein

Big Time Rush

Carlos

James

Kendall

Logan

Breaking Bad

Jesse Pinkman

Cobra Kai

Eli Moskowitz (Hawk)

Johnny Lawrence

Miguel Diaz

Robby Keene

Criminal Minds

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Spencer Reid

Game of Thrones

Bronn

Jaime Lannister

Jon Snow

Robb Stark

Goosebumps

James Etten

Lucas Parker

Gossip Girl

Chuck Bass

Eric Van Der Woodsen

Nate Archibald

Grey’s Anatomy

George O’Malley

Mark Sloan

IT

Bill Denbrough

Eddie Kaspbrak

Richie Tozier

Jujustu Kaisen

Megumi Fushiguro

Satoru Gojo

Toge Inumaki

Yuji Itadori

Lab Rats

Chase Davenport

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Deadpool

Druig

Loki Laufeyson

Peter Parker (Tom’s or Andrew’s)

Steve Rogers

Thor 

Wolverine

My Babysitter’s a Vampire

Benny Weir

Ethan Morgan

My Hero Academia

Denki Kaminari

Eijiro Kirishima

Hitoshi Shinsou

Izuku Midoriya

Katsuki Bakugo

Keigo Takami

Shota Aizawa

Shoto Todoroki

Takami Amajiki

NCIS (LA and the original)

Anthony DiNozzo

Eric Beale

G. Callen

Jimmy Palmer

Marty Deeks

Timothy McGee

Nerve

Tommy Mancuso

New Girl

Coach

Nick Miller

Schmidt

Winston Bishop

Now You See Me

Jack Wilder

Outerbanks

JJ Maybank

John B.

Pope

Rafe Cameron

Topper

Percy Jackson

Percy

Pretty Little Liars

Caleb Rivers

Holden Strauss

Jason DiLaurentis

Mike Montgomery

Noel Kahn

Toby Cavanaugh

Shadowhunters

Alec Lightwood

Jace Herondale

Simon Lewis

Shameless

Ian Gallagher

Kevin Ball

Lip Gallagher

Smallville

Clark Kent

Lex Luthor

Stranger Things

Dustin Henderson

Steve Harrington

Supernatural

Castiel

Dean Winchester

Jack Kline

Sam Winchester

T@GGED

Ash Franklin

Brandon Darrow

Trevor Askill

Teen Wolf

Derek Hale

Isaac Lahey

Scott McCall

Stiles Stilinski

Titans

Dick Grayson (Nightwing)

Gar Logan (Beast Boy)

Jason Todd (Red Hood)

The 100

Bellamy Blake

Jasper Jordan

Monty Green

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Ambrose Spellman

Harvey Kinkle

Nicholas Scratch

The Hunger Games

Finnick Odair

Peeta Mellark

The Maze Runner

Minho

Newt

Thomas

The Middle

Axl Heck

Sean Donahue

The OC

Luke Ward

Ryan Atwood

Seth Cohen

The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Klaus Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

The Outsiders

Darry Curtis

Dallas Winston

Sodapop Curtis

The Rookie

John Nolan

Tim Bradford

The Umbrella Academy

Five Hargreeves

The Vampire Diaries

Damon Salvatore

Jeremy Gilbert

Kai Parker

Stefan Salvatore

The Walking Dead

Carl Grimes

Daryl Dixon

Glenn Rhee

Negan Smith

Rick Grimes

True Blood

Eric Northman

Jason Stackhouse

Sam Merlotte

Twilight

Emmett Cullen

Jasper Hale

Paul Lahote

Seth Clearwater

Wizards of Waverly Place

Justin Russo

Real people:

5 Seconds of Summer members (all)

Ateez members (all)

Cody Fern

Jamie Muscato

Sam and Colby

Stray Kids members (all)

The Boyz (all)

Tomorrow x Together members (all)

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